Several months ago, my wife started leaving a trail of urine on the way to the bathroom ... maybe starting 3 or 4 steps away ... and sometimes some drops on the toilet seat. It's now escalated these past few weeks to leaving small puddles as far as 15' away from the bathroom. With only one or two exceptions, this has only happened during the evening hours or when she wakes up to go to the bathroom during the night. She refuses, of course, to wear Depends because "she doesn't need them." And when she sees me drying up the wet floor, she naturally denies being responsible. I've had a waterproof mattress cover on the bed for a year since her 1st accident in bed ... and, of course, she has not had any more accidents in bed since! She just had her annual physical, so it's not a urinary tract infection. Any suggestions out there ... other than keeping paper towels handy?!
oh acvann. I hear you loud and clear. no way for you to have to clean up behind her dribbling. try those depend or tena brand womens type that look and feel very much like reg underwear. some of us have had to go into the closets and empty out their old things to be able to convince them to use something that helps us as caregivers. its not easy to convince them of padded underwear but she isn't capable of knowing her needs or yours at this point. help her get dressed and just put one on her and say this is your new panties from now on. they ALL reject them at first but get used to them sooner or later. don't give up you will go mad trying to keep up with the cleaning. it will get worse as you are seeing. she will eventually just pee where she is all at once. you want to be prepared for that. its time to make it happen. not easy but the transition to the depends or tenas womans is the way to go now. best of luck. if at first she refuses keep trying during the day until you get her to comply.
Acvann, I too am having a similar problem with my spouse. He dribblings urine all the time....before the signal reaches his brain it's too late. I did purchase some depend type underwear. He refuses to wear them also.
Divvi, thanks for your input to Acvann's question. I have thought of slowly removing his underwear from the dresser and then evidently all he has no choice but to use the depends. Don't know if this will work....he'd probably go commando before wearing the depends. grrr
I too am having this problem with DH. I am cleaning bathroom all the time. He has been trying to hide accidents. But as in Joan's blog about being aware, he is still to much aware to try and get depends before full blown accident. I put a water proof pad on bed after 2 accidents a least 6 months apart. He hasn't had one since I put it on. I put a night light in bathroom, because he urinated in the sink and bathtub. That stopped after night light. But he denied it an said I did it to make him look bad. Yep I did it so I could clean it up. I even caught him in the act. But he was out of it and didn't of course remember. Not looking forward to this phase.
Man I feel kind of lucky the way it happened with us. He did NOT fight the depends, though at first I put his underwear on first so he would not fuss. It did not take long until it was just depends. It all happened so fast, it seemed one day he was shuffling to the toilet though a bit messy, then the next getting up in the night and just standing and peeing on the floor right beside the bed.
acvann I hope you can convince her to wear them, I used to tell Dado well look! , I have to wear them too, and slipped it off when he was not looking.
Clare is very aware of everything happening to her. She cries spontaneously several times a week and when I ask her why she is crying she'll say something like, "I can't stand what's happening to me." She'll then say how she can't remember anything anymore, can't do anything anymore, etc. YET ... she is also very stubborn and in semi-denial at times. As I've noted in another thread, she is currently 3rd on a room wait list for a nearby assisted living facility. I just hope the room becomes available before things get really bad in this area. If things continue to worsen until that time, however, I may slowly but surely try replacing her regular underwear with the depends type stuff. Re those exercises, I just Googled that today and may suggest that ... but Clare is always tired, despite sleeping 11 hours 4 nights a week on the days I need to wake her to go to day care, and 14-15 hours when she doesn't have to get up early.
I live in dread of this next phase. More so seeing DH crying and upset about what is happening as you say. In the beginning stages a year ago he would cry about what he couldn't do or say. That was heartbreaking. After Dx , he went on meds for depression and anxiety(sertraline generic for Zoloft) That stopped the crying. Actually , although he has declined this year to moderate ( I say stage 5) , he gets more annoyed than sad over what he can't do. Does she have meds to help?. Oh, this is Soo hard to imagine .
acvann, I hope it works for you. Lynn refused to wear them, period! I tried phases in the depends, he just ignored them. I then tried replacing all his underwear with only depends, surely he would have to wear them then! Nope, he went "commando". As hard as I did try I never was able to get him to wear them. It wasn't until he was in the NH for awhile that a male nurse was able to convince him to just give them a try. By then he was needing total care so the process was easier. I hope you have better luck!
Lorrie, nothing cut me as deeply as seeing Lynn cry. ((hugs of understanding))
Acvann, have you tried the panty liners for incontinent women ? I used the guards for men for my husband and now use them in his depends. We are well down this road and this site has lots of info on it.
Curious but at what stage is Clare? Her behavior and sleeping patterns sound so very similar to what I am going though with my spouse(doctors have never told me the stage )...and the sleeping so very much. I will wake him up at 6:30 a.m. for breakfast....he returns to bed around 7:15 a.m. and then it's not unusual for him to sleep until 11 or 11:30 a.m. He generally hits the sack by 9:30 p.m.--10 p.m. and as he says, "sleeps like a baby'.
Andy, I never of panty liners ... sort of like a "middle ground." I like that idea, and maybe Clare won't resist that too much. I'll try it in the next few days, thanks!
lulliebird ... Clare was hovering in moderate stage 5 for most of last year, but when her non-stop slide started back in mid-November, she has definitely been moving more and more into stage 6. She needs much more help with her ADLS now than she did 6 months ago.
An update ... Clare is now in the routine of wearing Depends 24/7. I ended up doing what some of you suggested ... replacing all of her panties with Depends. We argued constantly each time it was necessary to take off wet ones and put on fresh ones ... but now it seems we have overcome those battles! Last night she even remembered to change into fresh Depends after just making it to the bathroom with soaked Depends! So, as always, thanks guys! I've also ordered some free (3, I think) Silhouette Depends to see if she'd like those better. I also plan to add a few other brands over time to determine which she likes best. But I never would have had the courage to just replace all her panties with Depends one afternoon without your encouragement!! Thanks again!