I LOVE this forum! It s very helpful, without it I would have already been crazy I think. With that being said I wonder, don't we need more. I feel that ongoing counseling would be helpful, pertaining to my individual problems. Am I the only one that feels this need? Are there resources I am unaware of? I have family, friends,a little respite, but feel I need more. Is it just me?
KY caregiver, many of us have used other resources besides this forum...they are complimentary and depending on the circumstances with our LO's sometimes we need a bit of extra help. Some of us are lucky to have in-person support group we can go to in addition to this site, some seek counseling trough their religious institutions, and yes, some seek counseling with other professionals - psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers.
When DH became physically violent soon after diagnosis and was involuntarily committed to a psychiatric hospital for evaluation, my world fell apart and I was overcome with grief. My once loving husband had attacked me, was arrested by the police, placed in a psychiatric institution and the police had filed a restraining order on my behalf. And I was living alone in our home not knowing what our future would hold or if we even had one. It was more than I could bear. Fortunately a social worker who works with a memory center recommended a psychologist that worked with families who were dealing with geriatric issues, including dementia. What a godsend during those desperate days! It was exactly the right fit for me. I saw her weekly for about 10 months and I know I would not have made it through that time without her. As DH continues to decline and I am experiencing more stress and anxiety myself, I am considering returning to see her. You are ABSOLUTELY not alone.
My advice is to ask around if anyone in your area has a recommendation...the area office on aging might have a recommendation or list, the ALZ Association may also have a list. Perhaps contacting the local hospital social worker for a recommendation might help. If there's a good geriatrician in your area his/her office might be able to offer some names. And if you don't feel the person you select is a good fit for you, your situation, by all means find someone else.
Good luck....I hope you find the additional support you need/want.
One major hurdle to getting any outside help in the world of dementia is "Who is going to care for your LO while you are out getting counseling?"
If your LO can be left alone then the need for intense outside counseling would likely be less than someone who is housebound with dementia care.
Commonly people who are doing intense home bound dementia care don't need counseling but rather just a little respite relief that would allow them time to get out and do something fun that they want to do. And seeing a counselor may not be on that list.
But just as each AD person is different, the coping mechanism needed by each AD caregiver are different.
I agree with you,m-mman* -at least for me. DH goes to DC usually 5 days a week, 3 hours in the morning and they give him lunch before I pick him up. Those 3 hours every day (except weekends) are what keeps my sanity in place. I can do whatever I choose during that time - and, as you said, seeing a counselor is not on that list~ - at least for now.
I also agree with you m-mman*. I am doing intense home bound dementia care and I only have two mornings a week while DH is in a church sponsored adult morning out program. The only thing I have time for is to buy groceries and run errands. I also schedule doctor & dental appointments for myself during that time. This includes any medical tests I need. We don't have a DC here in our town. The one closest to us is a 40 minute drive but I'm in the process of registering him there. It's hard to even take a shower without worrying about what he's doing or getting into and some nights there's not much sleep either. I know I can't continue taking care of him unless I also take care of me. He is at the end of stage 6. The first full day I can leave him, I told my friend I was going to take a long luxury bath and then sleep the rest of the day. :-)