Two days ago I had two rabbits, a male and female mallard duck, a cardinal, three blue jays, two squirrels, and a chipmunk in my backyard all at the same time. They all love the window good stuff flies out of and now that it's June the take-out window is closing for the summer.
Instead, the uninspired lump must go outside and do stuff where no 'stuff' is calling my name. So I got up suddenly yesterday, went into our bedroom, moved furniture, and began lifting the carpet and shredding it. Then I pulled off the underpad and revealed the gleaming hardwood that I don't believe has ever seen the light of day in this 53 year old house. I did the guest bedroom last year and now I'm starting to think in terms of what I'm going to do to the house that we moved in 7 years ago but which is untouched except for necessary repairs. AD came into our lives. Perhaps I'll take down the christmas tree. It's probably tired after being up 3 1/2 years.
If I had the room, I'd leave my Christmas tree up all the time.I had a friend who did that. She has passed away. If I remember, I'll ask her husband if it's still up.
Wolf, don't both taking the tree down - after all, Christmas will soon be here - again! Love that you found that beautiful hardwood! I've done that in two old houses and it's amazing anyone would cover up that wood! I love it.
Vickie, great thing is the carpets needed replacing. Instead I'm upgrading by getting rid of it. If I keep going I will be in the hall which I know is hardwood but that's where my wife flooded the bathroom twice. After that adventure I get to see if the stairs were done. This was 1960. I have a chance.
Amber, what she wouldn't do is let the cat hairs on the carpet grow cat hair. She would instead admonish me for the dead bodies of plants that still litter the house slumped over their pots like straw effigies. But she would see her mother's two violets blooming side by side on the coffee table down in the family room and know that I did save something important.
You want to know the difference between a man and a woman? I do so if you know tell me. My wife would know exactly what I'm doing. We could win a contest hands down. She would know I learned how to do laundry right and that I only do it when I have to - which is when I run out of underwear. I own 27 pairs of underwear which don't come in pairs but that doesn't matter here. What matters here is that I'm smart enough not to answer the question of how often I do laundry.
Actually I just changed my picture to photo that little story. The top half of the picture is one of those slumped over dead plants. The bottom half is the two violets blooming beside each other.
..and then Divi, or was is Divvi?, noticed she was having a wardrobe malfunction right there by the Canadian...oooppsss...wrong thread...( :
On my way to the 2 hours drive to town to do some girly Home Depot shopping. Corner shelving, paint, bathroom faucet, fake window stained glass stick ons. Must be the time for redecorating, I have been at it for weeks! Start in one corner to simply patch a mess, then the old Pandora's box opens up and you have to paint the whole room. One day it will have to stop, well at least all the cash I am spending on improvements. Our house is really getting spiffy.
I am so SORE and ACHY from all the ladders and mowers and even the casting fishing pole. Sore in a good way. The soreness in my heart is still hiding in a little corner, it makes it's way out partially here and there, and then goes back in to hiding.
See you all later with an update on Shangri La. Your rooms are ready Nikki and Abby.
Happy June to all you special people, happy moments when you can.
Happy June everyone! It came fast. Jeff's still in the steady creep toward mostly wheelchair-bound, and minimally verbal. He's comfortable. Between the ALF and me (and kin) keeping him supplied and visited, there is little to fret about these days. I cannot, at this point, regret progress toward the inevitable, and it seems the natural order to me that after a time those of us still living must go on and do so. This is not to say that I don't carry deep sadness, and deep trauma in regards to what has happened to his life, but there is--at the same time--happiness to be found in other areas.
Picked my wife up at the memory unit yesterday. They said she did well and she seemed glad to see me. Now she is home and back to whatever passes as normal. I had a great week off with my daughter.
I am planning a respite in the middle of this month. Well, I will if they approve him. Someone is coming here to evaluate him on Tuesday. It will be in their skilled nursing unit so I can't imagine they won't take him. I hope to have 10 days to go to New England to see my brother in NH and my sister in CT. I haven't seen either of them since the fall of 2009.
In the meantime, today, June 2nd is our 54th Anniversary. I mentioned it a couple times to DH and didn't even get a comment. Oh well , One day is much like another.
MaryinPA - Congratulations on 54 years of marriage!
Yesterday our neighbor mowed the grass on the road allowance for me - I really appreciated that little act of kindness, and I told him so! Tomorrow, after taking DH for blood work, I hope to get out and mow the rest of the weeds (pardon me, I mean lawn) and then keep him from trying to use the grass trimmer. I am looking forward to next weekend - I get a day and a half of respite while T goes off on a retreat. I'll probably have to mow the lawn again!
I'm glad I got my weeds (oops grass) mowed yesterday. I have 1 1/2 acres and it takes me an hour and a half. I don't have to worry about DH wanting to do it any more. the summer of 2011 he drove the tractor into a hole he had dug for a fish pond (twice) and ran into a tree which smashed the hood. Had to replace that. Now he doesn't bother me about it.
Coco, one day I hope to take you up on that offer! Your home sounds just lovely. I am the same kind of sore, but it feels so good to care about these things again.
Emily, I am sorry to hear about Jeff, but so very glad to hear you are finding happiness. Awesome! Jeff would be so proud of you♥
Marsh, glad to hear you had a nice vacation with your daughter. Fantastic :)
Wolf, the violets are beautiful.
Mary, bittersweet.... but still I wish you a Happy Anniversary. (a bit late) And to you too Mimi, a bit early.
Where this is a public forum I can't go in to details, but we received devastating news Friday. I finally let go and cried last night, now I can't seem to stop. If you pray, please keep my Mom in your thoughts. I am scheduled for my next brain surgery the 24th of this month. She will need surgery two weeks later. I very much want to cancel my surgery so I know I will be able to be there for her. You can guess how well that went over. So now I just need to hope I can recover in time. I HAVE to be there with her.
Wednesday is our anniversary. I had a poster made for the back of Lynn's door. This is where he faces when he receives his standing therapy to help improve his lung function and to work his muscles. I thought it might be nice if he had something to look at. It is a poster of what use to be his favorite picture, it hung on our refrigerator for at least 15 years. I changed my profile picture to it, if you would like to see it :)
Happy June everyone. Coco, I wish I lived closer, it would be so much fun to meet you. So glad your moving on a bit. Your home sounds lovely...I took in what you said in another post about caring for and looking after what Dh and I shared together. I need to learn to paint, house needs painting!
Emily, so sorry to hear about Jeff. it's lovely to read you have a positive attitude and finding happiness.
Marsh, A vacation with your DD is just what you needed. Lovely!
Happy Anniversary Mary, Mimi and Nikki..love the profile photo..♥
Nikki, I will be thinking and praying that it all goes well for you and your Mum.♥
Good poster. Took me a minute. You must have the surgery. Here's hoping for a lightning recovery and strength for your mom in the meantime. My personal opinion which nobody asked me for is that whatever road you've been on has been helping and while I don't pretend to be informed I sense new strengths growing in you. There are miles to go for all of us and the only way to go is like the frog in your poster.
Nikki - love the poster, it belongs in the positive message thread! And what a lovely idea to put it up in your DH's room so he can see it. And happy anniversary to you. I will be praying for you and your Mom.
What a lot of June weddings!
Mimi, I hope you celebrate your anniversary in style! My DH and I "celebrated" our 37th in April. He didn't remember why we were out for dinner, and it wasn't at a restaurant that I would have chosen before AD, but I thought it was important to mark the day somehow.
Wolf in the years we have been dealing with this, you have no idea how many times I envisioned myself as that frog choking Alzheimer's for all I was worth.
For when I change the picture and someone runs across this post and wonders what the heck we are posting about... lol The picture is of a bird trying to swallow a frog, but the frog is putting up a hell of a fight choking the bird. The caption is Never Give Up!
Our special days do not destroy me like they used to. As Julia said in another thread, if he is happy it makes me happy. So I make the day just a little bit more special for him and in doing so, it does bring me joy. I will tell him Happy Anniversary baby as I lean in for a kiss. He doesn't know, but that's ok, I can carry our memories for both of us ♥
bqd, Thanks for your good wishes...yes we will go out...on our anniversary he has an echo and holter monitor hook up test. So we will either go to the Red Lobster or out to dinner at the Quarterdeck or maybe even both..
Cheval, you horse is gorgeous! My husband had a great love for horses, at one time having as many as 9. By the time we married he was down to two. His horse Ebony was the light of his life. I swear that horse could hear Lynn's truck coming a mile away. I always knew when he was close to home because Ebony would whinny and prance around frantically. Without fail Lynn would stop to visit with his best friend before he came in to see me. We didn't lock him in the barn, he was free to come an go as he pleased. Most mornings we were wakened with his beautiful face pressed against our window as he bellowed out for Lynn to come play and feed him.
We lost him in 2003 at the age of 34. Lynn had him since he was 2. Thankfully he forget that he had passed and talked about him often. Long after he forgot his own children he still remembered his beloved Ebony. In his room is a painting (photo canvas) of Ebony and I that was his favorite. Not two weeks ago I took it down to clean it, he asked over and over where is my horse? I want my horse!! Something's, even Alzheimer's can not steal.
Thanks for stirring up these treasured memories. More and more these happier memories are replacing the horrific ones. ♥
Well I am so darn proud of myself I could almost poop. Came back after a long hard shopping day, got home about 6 pm. I had bought a nice Moen faucet for the bathroom as the one in there had one handle missing, was a real cheapy, and ugly as anything. I was going to hire the neighbor guy to install it...and I looked... and said...hey this looks easy, and it was!! It looks so nice and now I have a hot water handle ha ha. Took me about an hour and now it is getting late!
Today on the way to town, I was able to finally FEEL again, to sit on the side of the highway and have a nice cry, it has been awhile and it felt good. As long as I do not keep Dado's face and his little moans on my mind, I can handle it. Dado honey, you would be so proud of my plumbing. !
Well, Coco, I am proud of you too! You never know what you can do until you try. And yes, I am sure that Dado would be proud, and probably not surprised, at what you accomplished. And won't it be nice not having to fight with the tap to have hot water?!
Well I'm in awe. I detest plumbing. Plumbing hates me in every house I go to. Good for you Coco.
As to crying I agree with Nikki. Crying is part of healing. But mostly I would say healing is part of healing. I hear two healthy things. Heck, I can do this and tackling it - and then feeling pride that you did it.
Every single person sees the world differently and has their own set 'things' that are their makeup and their tendencies and their personal blind spots and so on. Returning to health is not just personal - it might mean completely different things. For one it's to really relax again and for another it might be going out again.
For me a breakthrough came when I laundered the handmade quilt Mrs Armstrong made for her back in 1983 in the little town of Keene, Ontario. It's one of the 10 possessions I will always have. Having a little pride here and there in things we accomplish are things that stick in the mind and help build it up. There's enough tearing down going on.
Good for you Wolf! The little things, laundering the handmade quilt, keeping your MIL's violets thriving, these are stepping stones to finding ourselves again, to choose living despite the grieving. ♥
That's it. And the reason you have to say everyone is different is because we are. I don't believe things have intrinsic value. I believe value is like a religious quality as an example. The person brings the vaue to the thing. The thing does not bring the value to the person. It's completely spiritual.
Today is our anniversary. When I got there today Lynn smiled that beautiful smile of his and puckered up for a kiss. Part of a conversation we had:
Me: I love you Lynn Vachon!
Lynn: Why? <not the 1st time he has asked that, but threw me for a loop as I am more use to him replying with how much he loves me>
Me: <To clarify I ask>, why do I love you?
Lynn: Yes, why me?
Me: Well for starters because you are my husband!
Lynn: I am!!?? We are married?
Me: Yes we are, we have been together for 28 years.
Lynn: <with a look of disappointment> Well, that's too bad....
Smiling I ask him why?
Lynn: Well, because I was going to ask you to marry me today!!
Me: I will marry you today sweetie!
Lynn: Good! that makes me happy <huge smile>
I tell him today is our anniversary.....lean in for a kiss and tell him Happy Anniversary baby.
Lynn: <with a twinkle in his eyes he says, > In that case you get two kisses!
We had a nice lunch together, strolled outside enjoying the beautiful sunshine. He built a "house" with his building blocks, smiling the whole time while explaining to me what he was doing. I tuck him in for his nap, we exchange words of love and kisses. I wait for him to fall asleep and wiping a stray tear from my eyes I whispered Happy Anniversary sweetheart........
Nikki, what a wonderful exchange you had with Lynn today!
I had some good news today. The agency that supplies the respite helpers called this morning to tell me that they had found someone to look after my DH, so starting next Wednesday I will be getting a few hours to myself again, every other week!
Nikki, Thank you for your comments about "Bubba". His name is actually Brother Love, but I just call him Bubba because the guys will probably laugh at his registered name. He is a sweet 3 year old and will eventually grow into his body. he shot up to 16 hands in his first two years. He absolutely loves people. He is the perfect companion for me right now, even though I can't spend as much time with him as I would like. There is something about horses that seem to put your spirit at ease. I have had a number through the years and they say they are like potato chips.
I have enjoyed reading these posts, they bring a smile to my face. I am probably in Wolf's category in terms of plant care. Although he did manage to get the violets to grow, so he is actually better than I in that department. I am dreading this months Neurologist visit. I am seeing some different behavior over the past month that makes me feel that things are begining to progress more. I get confussed trying to figure out whether she is this stage or that stage, but I know that she is well advanced based on what she can & can't do. I am committed to doing the best for her no matter what happens.
I am so far behind on reading your messages. Been so busy with DH. He is almost manic right now. Still happy, just very busy. Had to share. The other morning as I was helping DH get dressed, he looked at me and said. "Your mine", and smiled. Somewhere deep inside he knows we belong together. Made me so happy. Hugs to all,
Me too sort of....at the end of April I fired the gardeners we had for 6 years...they were cheating on us..as DH became more unaware and less inclined to go into the yard, they started to slack off...these yard guys were really good at the beginning and I would recommend them to others....not anymore..... Then the next week I got a landscape co out whose work I had been observing for some time, hired them to do a major cleen up which too 4 days ( doing what the others should have routinely done..grrrr) and then did some landscaping for me..It was 2800. for all of the plants and pavers for steps we put in and the succulents were all ours..my DH was not a gardener and he put things any ol place..so we gathered them up and they are now on the hillside... So this plus the sprinkler system irrigation and control box ( I have now got a solar control box) was about 5300. total so far..I have to do things in stages...but it is empowering to be able to get some of these things done. I still need a lot more landscape work in terms of the grass and then the driveway...After all that, which should take the rest of the year, I need new windows, blinds and some electrics, new hall fixture and pot lights for the kitchen anda fixture over the kitchen table..
Perspective, it can change everything. It was a beautiful day, thank you for the anniversary wishes ♥
Blue, that made me smile. A memory for you to treasure.
bqd, wonderful news! I am glad you will be getting some YOU time, it is so vital.
Cheval, I had to laugh at your comment about not calling your horse by his given name. Our second horse was a show paint, the breeders named him Robin's Mork. Goodness!! lol. We called him Mork but Lynn never liked the name so he called him Bubba!! Must be a guy things :) Your Bubba is a beaut! I hope you get to spend more time with him.
Mimi, I am tired just reading all you have done and must do. Whew! Sorry too that your garden guys tried to kick you when you were down. Pffffft! Glad you fired them. Hoping you get in some good help so you don't become overwhelmed with it all.
SO today is our 44th Anniversary. Here is waht I posted on Facebook
So today is our 44th wedding anniversary. I wasn't going to mention it, because it isn't exactly “HAPPY” But then after I thought about it I realized, YES it IS happy. I am HAPPY we got married. I am HAPPY that we have 4 wonderful children. We had many HAPPY years before the Alzheimer monster stole him from me. So I just finished baking cupcakes to take to the Veterans Home to share with the staff to help celebrate our 44th HAPPY ANNIVERSARY. I LOVE YOU Tom Hurley!
We had a very nice visit. I went at lunch time & fed him lunch. I haven't been there in 2 weeks because I went out of town & came back sick, but as soon as he saw me I could see the reconition in his eyes. He smiled all the while I was feeding him his lunch & he even said, "I love you," without me saying it first. Today was a good day! (& the staff at the Veterans Home loved the cupcakes!)
ElaineH, happy anniversary! I'm glad you were able to have a good day with Tom. And your attitude says it all - there are a lot of things to be happy about on such a day, even in the midst of that devil AD!
A gold star day!! Your post made my heart happy. I am so glad you could reach beyond the hurt, all that has been lost to remember the wonderful times you had. You are winning this war my friend! Happy Anniversary Elaine ♥
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to Nikki, and ElaineH, and your guys. How I wish Dado could even remember how to say " I love you", without being prompted. But that is off subject, you have had your very special days and I am so happy for you.
ElaineH, happy anniversary! My wife can still bang on the table if she want's something but has neither words or the machinery to use them. That doesn't tarnish how fortunate I was to have all those years with her and I know that because my heart is full of wonderful memories including where we had those rich arguments. Missing that so much in my mind is partly at least the expression of that great value.
I've taken in a boarder. It's a baby rabbit. I've seen him every day for a week or so now and I can see he's bigger than when I first noticed him last month. He hasn't learned to do what the smart squirrels do yet. They grab the peanut and move to somewhere more protected like right beside a tree trunk. It's the hawks and the falcons. And unlike the neighbour lady who likes the little animals and hates the birds of prey - I'm not racist. Everyone has what life they do and it is no more the fault of the eagle to be an eagle than it is of the bunny rabbit to be that.
I really like your new pictures too Coco, such a beautiful smile!
I agree Wolf, the missing them so much is testament to how greatly we loved. About the bunny, by taking in a border do you mean he now lives in the house? Wish we were closer, Lynn would love to see him/her :D
I came to the decision to delay my upcoming surgery. I know it is important and I will have it, just not right now. I need to be able to be with Mom. It is very important to me to be with her through her surgery and treatments. If I had the surgery as planned that would not be possible. I will call my lead surgeon on Monday to talk it through, but my mind is already made up. It's been a week full of contradicting emotions, I feel as if this huge weight has been lifted off my shoulder now.
That's really great Nikki, I am so glad you have been able to put that off, to be with your Mom.
The new photos Wolf helped me once again to put up! I did love the one of Dado, but he does not look anything like that now, maybe I can take a new one of him. And I so love that fishing photo, no...lol...I did not catch that large one on the ground, but am cutting it up for bait. (It is a barracuda my friend caught)
Wolf I hope your little furry friend avoids the hunters and grows up to be a pal.