Hello ,. one and all. I feel so out of place at 55 years old. My husband was diagnosed in his 50's he was 10 years older than I. He passed away as a classic textbook patient. He got pneumonia and 1 month later he passed away. We were married for only 9 1/2 yrs. I stopped working to be with he because he was so frail in my eyes once the disease started taking its toll. I was not wise, and did not save so there was no big insurance to fall back on once he passed. I prepaid for his burial, that was helpful. It has been 6 months since he passed and I feel so out of water. Had to get back to work in a hurry to survive. Lost our home and cars. Now I seem to want to be alone and get upset with people very easy. Please tell me this will pass. I feel like I lost the one person who understood me and let me be me and I him. even though he was sick he was still with me. ( some times) The reality of me never being close to him again angers me deeply. Thank You for letting me get that out.
beethkfull2 - sorry for your loss, not just your husband, but your home and cars. There will be others that have already lost their spouse that will come along and help. There is a thread at the top of the page for widows/widowers. Read there too.
beethkfull2, I too am so sorry you lost your husband and you've had such a difficult time afterwards. My hb is still living at home with me..he was dx'd 5 years ago and is now 63. As Charlotte says others who have lost their spouses will be along soon.
I'm very sorry for your loss of your husband. I think I might know how you are feeling. I lost my husband of 30 years to AD just over 4 months ago, he was 56 years old. I too feel out of water, and unsure as to where "I fit". Everything feels different and awkward. It also feels easier to be alone then engage with others. I often find myself saying "no, thanks"... As everyone says...it takes time to heal and get through this. I'm not sure that I will ever, really get through this...I mean I guess I will on some level...but everything has changed...so, yes we will get through it...but come out into a vastly different land than the one we previously lived in. Kind of like learning a new culture. Lick your wounds and allow your self to heal. That's more than OK...and do what feels right to you...you are not alone, beethkfull2...you have us. Love and hugs to you.
Hi beethkfull2, I am so sorry for your loss. My husband was about 58 when we started seeing the signs. He was 67 when he passed away 19 months ago. I think being alone is a learning process. I don't think there is any one right way to travel this road. I think we learn by trial and error what will work for us. As I have said before, I think walking was my salvation. I am out as soon as it is light enough to go. I go to a coffee shop for my breakfast after the walk. That way, there is life all around me. I also volunteer twice a week. Friends are an enormous source of support. You will find that on this website, you will receive amazing support. The people here have walked this path and are always ready to listen and to help. Don't be a stranger.
beethkfull2, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. How tragic to have lost your home and cars on top of everything else, so much loss.... I can't offer you any advice, but I did want to respond to lend my support. I hope we hear more from you ♥
beethkfull2, and Leigh, I am saddened to hear of the loss of your mates. Please take care of yourselves, and yes, as jang* mentioned, walking is a great way to renew your spirit. You are both in my prayers.
beethkfull2, I love your name so much! I am sorry for the lose of your husband and only person that understood you, I feel the same way even though my husbands body is not gone yet. I am 56 years old and my husband is 75. In many ways I already feel like a widow so I have no idea how I will feel when he is actually gone. I don't know if it actually "goes away" but it should "get better"
A year and a half has passed, and I still miss her. I know in my case quitting work to care for her was the best decision I could have made. After 4 years being out of the work force my former employer called me up and asked if I wanted to work as a consultant for one of their customers. I have been doing that and it has provided great freedom to live semi retired working 1 week per month. It will get better.