Been having a rough time dealing with my DH behavior. It has been getting more and more difficult each day. I walk around with a knot in my stomach trying to avoid anything that might set him off. But, that doesn't work ,of course with this dreaded AD! He is still very angry about not driving and"drives" me crazy in the car with his rants about how everyone has worse things wrong and he is going t o drive. He's even threatened to get a motorcycle. The reasoning is totally gone. No matter what he's doing , of course many things he so sadly cannot do , he is frustrated and/ or annoyed at any suggestions or help. This weekend we had family and friends over and for the first time, he even was angry and rude to his closest friend telling him to "go home". I am overwhelmed, distraught, anxious an even had a fantasy of running away. I did take car to Starbucks and sat in It in the poring rain or an hour just to have peace.
I called the neurologist and m waiting or her to return my call . Have any f you had any help with a particular medication. Right now, he is on aricept and Zoloft since September.
OH dear Lorrie. I don't remember if you guys have considered Seroquel, or if your guy has Frontal dementia as of course that is different. Dado was getting really agitated and the seroquel, just 100 mg at night has really helped. He also takes a small dose of Citalopram. My heart goes out to you and I get so frustrated when I see what you are all going through. Of course I have been there, and after 4 months of having him in the facility honestly I have to say life is "easier", despite the sadness of it all.
Lorrie - my husband gets one Seroquil with his morning medicine and two at night to help him sleep. It keeps him on a more even keel. Has helped with the Sundowner's in the afternoon as well as the angry outbursts. The neurologist also has given me enough extra that if I see him agitated, upset or angry during the day I can give him another one during the day. Take care of yourself, Lorrie!
Lorrie, my hb has FTD and has anger/aggression issues. Seroquel has helped tremendously but his aggression is still just under the surface. In his case the geri-psych started him on 100 mgs - 50 mgs 2x a day. He quickly went up to 225 mgs/day and has now been on 300 mgs/day for several years. 50 mgs in am, 50 mgs in afternoon and 200 mgs at night to help with sleep. If you haven't tried it it might be worth a try to see if it works. Good luck.
Oh gosh, Lorrie! I hope you can get some help somehow. We experienced a 3 year period which I mentally refer to as “the dark years” when DH was very foul tempered, mean, nasty, and angry. It was NO FUN for my teenage son and me – so I know how you feel! I can say that now DH is much more relaxed. I hope your DH will eventually calm down, too. I can’t say what bought about the change - maybe DH finally reached some level of acceptance, or my son and I became very adept at managing his environment to eliminate his stress, or maybe it was simply an answer to prayer. I always said I could handle any of the memory and cognitive issues (especially with the great advice of this community), if I could just get his rages under control we'd be fine.
One of the things we do to manage DH’s stress is to never, ever point out his cognitive impairments. So if he asks something again and again, or uses the wrong words, or makes no sense at all, we just go right along with him (as long as safety is not an issue) – we never point out his cognitive slips. We also never openly talk about his condition – it is the elephant in the room for my son and I – but we just pretend it doesn’t exist as far as my DH is concerned.
We also try not to ask him to do anything anymore, that way he doesn’t have to experience the frustration of not being able to complete a task. If he tries to start some activity, we just try to distract him. Do you get the sports channels and the car channels on TV? They are definitely worth the investment; my DH is very content if we just leave him alone and let him watch those channels.
Is your DH safe to leave at home so you can limit the amount of time he has to be in the car? I guess each time you take him along he’s reminded that he’s not driving. That is such a blow to their self esteem…
These are just some things that have helped calm things in our household – don’t know if they would work for you. I’m sure you know being constantly on edge waiting for his next explosion is very unhealthy for you. I will be praying for you.
]My DH was out of control with anger and aggression and just generally nasty for a couple years. The Citalopram helped for an while but then didn't seem to work. Then we tried Seroquel. That made him dopey for a few hours but as it wore off he was as nasty as ever. This past January the nurologist put him back on Citalopram and added Abilify. Within 2 weeks he was a different person. He started being compliant with taking his meds which had been a big issue, agreed to take a shower when I asked him to when before I was lucky to get 1 a week. He has gone downhill faster since we started it and the nurologist thought it might be caused by the meds, but I said leave it alone. I couldn't even contemplate going back to the awful anger and aggression.
Lorrie, I am so sorry. We too went through the anger and aggression. For me this was the hardest part of our war. It is just inconceivable that the love of our lives would turn on us so drastically. Truly he acted like I was his mortal enemy. He was both physically and verbally abusive. Though it does your broken heart zero good to know it is the disease causing him to act this way, it is important that you get him the medical treatment he needs. I remember thinking how unhealthy it had to be for him to be so angry and aggressive all the time too. Maybe if you can look at it as you are trying to help bring peace to him as well, it will be easier for you to seek treatment.
Seroquel was the drug that helped us the most too. Lynn had just horrible sundowning so his biggest dose was in the afternoon hours. He started out at a very low dose, I believe only 25 mg, then 50. When I reached my breaking point and had to place him, they increased it to 275 to be able to semi manage his aggression.
It's a horrible way to live, for both of you. I hope your doctor is open to finding the right mix of medicines to help. If not, don't be afraid to keep searching until you find a doctor with a heart. ((hugs))
Thanks to you all for sharing your experiences and giving me suggestions. It is so comforting to know someone really Understands. I am fortunate to have many friends and family for support. But, only those of us who live/survive As an AD spouse truly know. I will ask the neurologist about adding Seroquel to his meds when she returns my call. I am also reevaluating our daily plans and company to be sure to allow down time for him. I need to remind myself frequently that I am not to blame for causing his agitation . It s the disease that is destroying Him.
I am glad you will be talking with your doctor Lorrie. No you are not to blame ((hugs)) Until you can get him the meds to help, just agree with him (even if you have to bite your tongue :) And try to distract him when he gets agitated. If it helps at all, like most things with this disease, this "phase" did end for us. He hasn't needed the Seroquel for over 3 years now, he is back to being his gentle sweet self. I imagine it has to do with what part of the brain that is being attacked that dictates if there is aggression or not. Whatever the reason, it sucks! And I am sorry you are going through this ((hugs))
Same situation going on in my house. Going to see his geri-psychiatrist on Friday to see what we can do. I sure hope you can fiqure something out. This is no way to live.
Lorrie, when my DH became increasingly aggressive I had nowhere to turn because he refused to go back to the neurologist. Our family doctor said that he would help me with medications, but I had no idea what he needed. Enter all the wonderful experienced people here. Their first suggestion was Seroquel (with the warning that sometimes its a guessing game which medications work for some & not for others). I called my doctor & asked if he would prescribe it for my DH & he did & it worked. I was so very thankful for all the good information I received here. This web site is truly a lifesaver!
Still waiting for neurologist to return my call. I will call again in the morning. Elaine and others,thanks for suggesting seroquel. I plan to ask about that.
It ' s rough living on eggshells waiting for the next outburst.
I am so very sorry that you are going though this. I have also had a huge problem with my husband's behavior. He was getting so out of control that I was on pins and needles....miserable ALL the time....so stressed out. His doctor prescribes sequel on the evening....(a very low dose) but he improved only slightly. Then several days he was again explosive. I called his doctor and he recently prescribes 1/2 dosage in the a.m. ...it's been a Godsend.
Call your husband's doctor and explain the situation. You can tolerate this any longer....you need help in managing him. Squeaky wheel gets the grease. I wish you the very best.
I am going to ask about seroquel. But he is already on Zoloft(sertraline) . I'm wondering if your DH was also already on other meds when he started serquel.
He is frustrated ( he also has speech and language difficulties) more advanced than his other stage 5 behaviors. When he can't express himself he gets frustrated and angry. So would I. I just want him to be calmer for both of us!
This website and all who post are truly lifesavers. When I don't know where to turn, you provide help.
Dr. Returned call after discussing his agitation , she prescribed a very small dosage of seroquell. Cutting 25 in half and giving at night. Watching for side effects at first.
As relieved as I was after talking to Dr. and getting new med , now I feel anxious and sad. Actually more than that but it is sometimes hard to find the word to describe the emotions I feel.
Maybe, because this is just another reminder of the downhill progression and the Dr. Has verified it!
Lorrie, we all know how you feel, and yes, it's the acknowledgement by others that there's been a decline and you are now moving into a new stage. The bright side is that you got some meds to help with his behaviors. The dr has put him on a VERY low dose of Seroquel - I hope it helps.
My DH has been in LTC since April. He is late stage 6 or or early 7. He is in continent,has problems with words and sometimes cannot express himself at all. The last month he has been more and more agitated and uncooperative. This past week he has been hitting caregivers. I am at my wits end. I spend hours with him every day. They tell me it starts when I leave. I was there for 10 hours and had put him to bed before I left. He was good for me, but I cannot be there all the time. He is in memory care and it seems the all start sundowning around 4. This facility is expensive and the price goes up all the time. I am considering taking him home,but am not sure I can handle it.
you probably should call his dr and explain his conduct and that the facility will discharge him without him being compliant. a med adjustment. we say it all the time. even if they are on a lot of meds now they lose effect or need a reboot. they wont keep him and if hes aggressive they will probably suggest a stay in a facility to adjust meds before he can come back. sorry you have to deal with his new behavior. many here have commented on this same thing.