I had a really rough weekend with hubby due to his aggression. My granddaughter was visiting and he got verbally abusive and physically threatening with her and I couldn`t get us away from him. Hit a deer with my car on Saturday and couldn`t drive to get us out of there and god forbid I even think of touching his truck.....anyways alot of you know what goes on when they are aggressive.
So Monday I`m down to see the elder nurse and see what we can get put in place. We`re putting together a plan involving the police...they have a new program called Car40 I`m not sure exactly how it works, right now, but the cops involved in this program are specially trained to deal with people with dementia. Thank goodness, last time I was threatened to be charged with elder abuse....whole nother story. Plus the mental health team etc.....
But the Big kick in the head is that I no longer can have my granddaughter or another children over to visit because of his aggression. The elder nurse is obligated by law to report his behaviour......which I agree with her. So now this disease has taken this one bight joy out of my life.
I was told to go and look into care for him and now a big shove to get at it.
Oh! Amber my heart bleeds for you. I have not had that experience but my DH loves to spend time with little ones but I watch him pretty close. Our granddaughter is 10 so she will let us know pretty quick if he gets out of hand or aggressive. I really fear that time.
My granddaughter is almost 10 too. She said her only good memories of him is when she was 5 years and younger. But can you imagine what her memories of him after age 5 are like if that`s how she feels. I needed to get out of myself and walk her path earlier so she doesn`t have those kind of memories. I`m suppose to be the adult and protector here.
How sad this is..for your sake and your grandkids I hope you can get your DH placed or at least some med that will calm him so this doesn't happen again.If he is this aggressive you need protection too, don't forget that. He may be dangerous, too dangerous to have at home now.
Oh Amber so sorry to hear this. I was "lucky" in that Lynn's aggression was only aimed at me. He was always VERY sweet and kind to everyone else. My niece and nephew have lived with us since they were little and I know just what you mean by them being a bright spot in your life. I can't imagine a day without them in it. I hate to say this, but they had an abusive father, and if he had ever become aggressive with them, even verbally, I would have had to place him a lot sooner. Their safety would have had to have come first.
I know in another thread you mentioned the doctor telling you it was time for placement. I KNOW this is painful, but perhaps it is truly time. Please don't let Alzheimer's take your granddaughter from you. ((hugs))
I know it's hard,Amber,but you really have to consider placement soon.Have you checked out what is available?I know people worry will they have enough money to live on,NH's are way too expensive, but you have to think of your own safety and you deserve peace and happiness. It is no way to live with the stress we are all going thru.Honestly, I feel like a big weight has been lifted since Sonny has been in a NH and it's only been two weeks.
Amber: I am so sorry that his disease has caused this to happen to you. My DW was very aggressive, but, I could control the situation by not letting her hit me (hit at, but, not hit) etc. My children later told me that if the situation had been reversed, they would have had to have me removed from the home by the authorities, (police). Because of that, I am able to understand and have full sympathy for you and your family.
Amber, I too am so very sorry the AD devil has taken yet another joy out of your life. Thankfully we do not have any children in our lives, so I don't have to worry about that. But DH has a history of aggression (aimed at me) and even though he's on meds to control it, it is always just below the surface. Calling 911 wasn't the answer for us, but you do need to make sure you are safe too. Big (((((HUGS))))))
Yes Amber I echo the statements above, the caring, the concern. Please consider what you can handle, and I really hope you can consider placement as hard as it is. I know that though it was the very hardest thing to do, I have been able to catch my breath and even smile. (Amber)