Memorial (or Decoration) day was always important when I was growing up and my parents used to always take us to the cemetery. But, this is my first one as a widower. They tell me that 'firsts' are difficult. I think they are right.
We struggled, but survived Mothers Day, and spent a lot of our time at the gravesite today for Memorial day. Lots of flowers, memories, and some tears. But, all of that was important and I feel a sense of relief. I think reality is sitting in.
Dean, I am glad to hear that you were able to get through your gravesite visit today and come away with a sense of relief. I pray that you will soon find some peace and be left with just the happy memories of you wife.
After I posted this info, I came to my home and had a sense of calm and relief that I had not had since my DW died in March. I realized that I had done all I could for her and that I had gone with her as far as I could in this life and because of that, it was time to say goodbye.
I thought about it most of the afternoon, and decided that I would go back to the cemetery at sunset and tell her what I was thinking and how I felt. I did that, but, it was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. I was just by myself and talking, out loud, to my newly departed wife, in this large cemetery at suns I did not know this was going to happen when the day began, but, I am glad that it did. I am slow, but, I finally understood that my life with her is over and three's nothing I can do about it. I will go to the cemetery occasionally, when I feel like it, but otherwise I will search for the future.
That doesn't mean that I will forget her or that I will not continue to love her, but, just in a different way.