I have had to take a leave from work, part of it was sick leave, my doctor said it was time for me to take a break from looking after people at work and then going home and almost doing the same thing. Caregiver burnout. I work with adults that are intellectually and physically challenged and the other part was hubbys geri-phys doctor said he couldn't be left alone anymore.
It has been 2 months now and I am really feeling alot better. I was self medicating with alcohol so I would sleep at night and now that the work load has decreased I find I am no longer doing that. I'm eating better and getting out for walks. I handle his outbursts better and where as before I couldn't imagine how I could go on for much longer that has changed, now I'm not feeling the same. Though I don't want this to go on for years, I do want my life back.
The one other thing I have learned with being off is when I am finished this journey with hubby I do not want to go back to work and be caring for anyone. After 40 years I've had enough. So while I'm off I plan to research other career options and see what really interests me. Who knows what I might be doing after this.
Interesting. I understand how you might want to change career paths. I was immersed in nursing school in 2003 when my husband began to exhibit mood changes which--at the time--I had no inkling were the initial signs (in his case) of AD. However...at the gut level, or intuitively, I understood that something bad was going down. I could not, at that point, articulate rationally why I thought that, or what I thought was happening, but I began to feel repelled by the idea that I was training to be someone who takes care of sick people.
I think, in retrospect, I did somehow foresee that I would spend the next 10 years becoming a caregiver (he's in an ALF now) and I couldn't handle the idea of both, so I withdrew from nursing school. Then, I had trouble explaining my decision to people. In the rear-view mirror it makes sense.
Although I was not in a caregiving field (nursing, etc) I was a Human Resources Director and was constantly dealing with other people's problems to try and solve them. I found as my husband's personality changed (had no idea it was beginning signs of dementia), the financial problems he created and his unwillingness/inability to do anything in the house I was becoming unsympathetic to the people I was there to help. Their problems seemed so insignificant compared to what I was going through at the time. It even got to a point where I wanted to tell them they really didn't have problems and to stop whining. I took some time off to deal with the chaos my husband's illness was creating and ultimately decided I would not return to work. My decision was based on several factors. I knew I could not help people if I wasn't sympathetic or empathetic to their situation, so I left a job I loved and found fulfilling before the dementia devil moved in.
Interesting topic, which affirms the idea that we are not limitless creatures, and we need balance in caring/being cared for. Alzheimer's tips the scales in a big way, and we need to compensate as best we can in the other areas of our lives.
I can totally understand not being able to be sympathetic and empathetic to others. I know I do not want to work with people any more maybe a trade of some kind where I'm left alone....I don't even what to deal with co-workers BS. I like to do lamp work which is working with glass and heating it and making things. I can go into my work shop and close the door and put my music on. Thank goodness I don't have any debt or I couldn't even give this a thought.
The other thing is my health....with this change I'm feeling so much better and more in control.
I'm glad you are feeling better, Amber. This time off has given you a chance at some introspection, and I suspect that you are able to think more clearly about what is best for you and your LO, and for your future. Lamp work sounds interesting - I retired at 53 (no pension) and I now spend a lot of my free time quilting.
bqd - I'm 55 and have had enough. Hubby pensions gives us a comfortable life nothing extravagant. Our cost of living is very low, benefit of living in a cabin in the wilderness. I would like to find somethng that would bring in that kind of cash but I want to own my time so if I feel like working in the night I can or whenever. Humm the more I write about this the clearer the picture gets. Quilting is such a creative craft....all the different colours and designs, just beautiful. I'm more a power tool gal give me a torch and I'm happy. Not that I would do...no green thumb....but we are known for our BC Bud....we need smiley faces.
I've been a caregiver most of my life. I am an RN. Now that my husband is gone I am a volunteer caregiver for hospice and many neighbors. The good part is that I get to go home, put my feet up and enjoy a glass of wine. Caring for anyone 24/7 with no break in sight is about as bad as it can get.
Amber I am 61 now, but I still believe I made the right decision to retire at 53. I had also had enough! And I know now that I certainly couldn't have continued working and looking after hubby. I do a lot of custom quilting - it gives me a little bit extra money and its something I like doing anyway. And its something I can do on my own time, while caring for my DH. Like you, we live in a relatively remote area, so our cost of living is low. I think BC and Quebec have more similarities than most people think, including a provincial car insurance program. And when it comes to country living, we even have a locally grown version of BC Bud! :-) Bonnie
Bonnie - My mistake...I didn't realize you're in Quebec....what a fiesty province. And now you have Justin! Could you or did you take early CPP? something I'm going to think about.
Bluedaze - when I was just working I felt the same way do my eight hours and then let it go. But not now.