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    • CommentAuthoryhouniey
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2013
     
    I no longer have to make the final call for placement. Sonny went by ambulance to ER last Monday.Fell on his back vomiting up blood.An acquaintance just happened to stop in just as he fell. Had he not been here I think Sonny would had choked to death.He quickly rolled him on his side and cleared his throat while I called 911.DR. had endoscopy ordered and they found an ulcer which they took care of.He has had 5 units of blood ,has not walked in the 5 days he's been there.Dr. called last evening and said his heartbeat is up and they were transferring him to the heart section, does not think he should come back to live at home.Only problem is no NH beds available in the area.And none at their rehab unit either.Guess they'll hold him until something opens(I hope),I will not sign for dis charge until then.Really sad that someone has to die before my DH can be placed.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeMay 10th 2013
     
    Be that as it may, I hope a good place for him opens up quickly.
  1.  
    Yes, good luck with that. Sometimes life is actually a little easier (in some ways) when events channel us into a certain course of action.
    • CommentAuthorAnn*
    • CommentTimeMay 11th 2013
     
    Isn't that what hospilal social workers are for? They have helped lots of people I know.Maybe you could ask to speak with one.Good Luck
  2.  
    As hard as this is, it may be a blessing for you. I understand the feeling of indecision about placement. Our neuro told me the other day that because of the confusion factor, my DH might not adapt well now...but I couldn't do it earlier for so many reasons. Maybe it was a similar situation for you.

    You are doing and have done all the things you have thought best for him and you still are and will no matter where your DH is residing. Keep the faith...All these things, in whatever way they shake out is in God's plan ultimately, not our own even though we think we are the ones that make some of those decisions. Be at peace, you have been and are doing a yeoman's task...Keep us posted on how he and you are doing.
    • CommentAuthorZibby*
    • CommentTimeMay 11th 2013
     
    I, also, had the placement questions answered after hb fell and was taken to the hospital, then to care center. Sort of a relief, but then I tho't, "I could care for him at home." Doctor and family thought not. It was better for all of us. Prayers for all.
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeMay 12th 2013
     
    hoping you find a place for him soon. sometimes its best its out of our hands, and lessens the thinking on if its the time or not.
    best wishes.
    •  
      CommentAuthorNikki
    • CommentTimeMay 13th 2013
     
    So sorry to hear this news, but yes I agree it does bring a measure of comfort when the decision is made for you by circumstances. Still, you may waver, I know I did. ((hugs))
    • CommentAuthoryhouniey
    • CommentTimeMay 14th 2013
     
    After 8 days in the hospital Sonny was transferred to the NH I was hoping for. Someone died over the weekend and they had a bed,since I will be a private pay after medicare stops paying I was at top of the list, unfortunately moneytalks.Our Dr. will come tomorrow AM to check on him,I am so glad she makes calls to the NH,at least that saves him another adjustment.He has dropped drastically and I am afraid he will never get back to where he was before this happened.He did not even seem to mind when I left him today,that made me sad.
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeMay 14th 2013
     
    Mary, it sounds as if you have the best possible place for Sonny at this time, and I'm glad that he let you go quietly. It will be so much easier for you both. I hope that you will take this chance to recoup - it's been a long haul.
    • CommentAuthorMoon*
    • CommentTimeMay 14th 2013
     
    Mary, I too think it is a blessing if Sonny doesn't fight staying
    there without you. I know you were so very concerned as to
    what you would tell him. Best wishes to you both as you cope
    with this major life change.
    • CommentAuthoryhouniey
    • CommentTimeMay 15th 2013
     
    This morning I needed to go to the grocery store ,thought this a good time to start my life alone. so I ate breakfast in their Cafeteria,sat at our usual table,but when I got the eating utensils I picked up two of every thing.Guess it takes a while to get used to being one.I did enjoy my breakfast,usually I am trying to keep DH's hands from grabbing at things and end up with indigestion from hurrying.I am glad I started my life alone on the first day he was in NH. I know I will be OK.
    • CommentAuthoryhouniey
    • CommentTimeJun 25th 2013
     
    UPDATE on Sonny's placement on NH.After 2 weeks he was sent back to hospital,bad reaction to Vicodin for his 2 cracked ribs.Was sent back to NH in 4 days.Has been doing surprisingly well.Says Hi to everyone,goes to some activities,is walking with a walker and ins generaly happy with the place. They have wonderful food and his care has been superb so far.This makes me feel so much better.I really feel guilty when I hear of what many of you are going thru trying to get proper care for LO,itmuch be a horrible feeling. My prayers are with you all.
    • CommentAuthorElaineH
    • CommentTimeJun 25th 2013
     
    yhouniey, so glad to hear that he is adjusting well to being in the NH. Some do & some don't. I was fortunate that mine did. He really wasn't aware of his surroundings & never really asked to go home. It is an adjustment being alone, but I am getting used to it & I know that I will be OK too! (((HUGS))
  3.  
    I'll put my situation here rather than start a new topic. Today I looked over a new retirement Inn about an hour drive from where we are. It has the advantage of having a memory unit (where DW stayed for 5 days in May and did very well. The staff there are excited to have her back). I have to make the decision in the next week or so since an apartment has opened up for me at the same time there is one for DW. I wasn't quite ready to place her, but I really can't pass up this opportunity. It will be more expensive, but my financial advisor says he will figure out a way to pay for it. It will give me more freedom to do things I enjoy, while being only down the hall from DW. My plan is to move sometime during August when my daughter can help me "downsize". I will be moving from a large 2 bedroom apartment to a small 1 bedroom.
    • CommentAuthoryhouniey
    • CommentTimeJun 27th 2013
     
    Go for it Marsh,you deserve to have some freedom. I didn't realize what a small life I was living until I placed Sonny.I am not ashamed to say that I am living better now than when he was at home.And it doesn't seem to make a difference to him,he is happy at the NH.Maybe I should feel differently, but I felt I was being buried alive taking care of him.I do love him dearly,but it was time for placement.
  4.  
    Take opportunities when they arrive - even unexpected ones! I hope the move goes well for both of you and will give you the freedom you need and deserve. You've been, and still are, a wonderful caregiver to your DW.
    • CommentAuthorbqd*
    • CommentTimeJun 27th 2013
     
    Marsh, it sounds like a perfect situation for you - freedom to do things you enjoy, while still being close to your DW.