My husband is living in a very good memory care unit 2 hrs away. Our eldest son is 10 min. away from him and wonderful with Dad. I have been urged to move there also in an assisted living situation. I am very independant and LOVE my home which we own. I could never afford a similar one in the cities. My son and his wife have opened their home to me . So I visit my DO every week for several days and stay with them. but it's like being between a rock and a hard place, though they are VERY hospitable.. I feel I should coast for a while in regard to a decision.. I know I wouldn't want to live with my kids if I could help it. I'm 80. If you have any advice I'd appreciate some. I also love my husband, but he is swiftly declining.
I agree with your analysis, "I feel like I should coast for a while". And, the reasons you gave seem so spot on. I guess what called out to me the most is good advice that I received years ago. Basically that was to consider "if I do it now, can I undo it later?, along with "can I do it later?"
Your home must be such a source of comfort and solace for you- I would say hold on to it!
If you are comfortable in your home and have friends near you my suggestion to you would be to remain in your home for awhile longer. When my dh got worse I moved to be near the kids and when he passed I was stuck in this beautiful home that I loved but not near any friends or people my age (I'm 79). It was extremely depressing not to have friends my age and my children work and had little time for me and I could understand that because they have their own life. After about 6 or 8 months I knew I needed to move. I have sold my home and will be moving about 20 miles from my kids into a 50+ community and I already am loving redecorating my new place and the friendliness of the people in the area.
If there is not any major reason for you to make a decision at this time....Bottom line would be to stay where you are. You might want to start looking for something in another area but making a major move at this time may not be what you want later. Just my opinion. I wish you well in whatever you do. My one daughter also wanted me to move into an ALF...but, I knew I was to independent and active to do that at this time and I still have good health.
The standard recommendation is to not make any major financial decisions until 2.5 years after a death in the family, divorce, etc. So I wouldn't rush to make a decision. It is wonderful that you son and DIL have opened up their home to you and this should make it easier to delay any decision until you are comfortable with it.