Our daughter is getting married in Washington DC in May. We are going up for 5 days. My parents are traveling with my DH and I by car. They are staying with us there. The rest of my family will be there for the wedding and rehearsal dinner to help with DH. He will walk our daughter down the aisle. I know this will be a long week for him. He does have trouble with conversations and walks very slow. He does not have incontinence issues yet. He gets confused in the evening. I will have like 20 pairs of eyes to help me. Our daughters fiance is from England. Some of his family and friends cannot make it to the wedding. They are having a blessing 2 weeks later in England. I had planned on my DH going with us and our other daughter and her husband. While discussing the trip and making arrangements, he said he did not want to go. I asked if he was afraid to travel that far. He made up many excuses. I really feel that it scares him. He has declined in the last year so much. He does look at me as if he doesn't know me sometimes. He cannot make his own toast or find things that should be familiar. He is the in stage 6, takes to long to say everything he has issues with now. He can stay here with his mom and sister. He spends time with them now. He told me he would help his mom but spend the night at home. He cannot stay by himself, that is not an option. I know that they would not let him. I think that I really just need to know that I should not feel guilty about going and about leaving him. I am scared myself, with security, customs, and the 11 hour flight, and time difference. It is so hard to make these decisions. I really know he should not go.
Go jackie - go with no guilt issues. He will have family looking after him making sure he is safe. You go and enjoy yourself - who knows this may be the last trip for a long time.
Hopefully it is a morning/early afternoon wedding so he will not be getting to his confused time. Try not to get him too tired out with all the activities so he can be at his best for the wedding. Hope at the reception there is an area he can go for some quiet time cause I am sure crowds will tire and confuse him.
I think having him stay with his mom and sister is an ideal solution, and I'm with Charlotte--go without guilt. You should definitely do this for yourself. You will have a great time, and he will be so much happier than if you tried to put him through the stress of travel.
I concur, go and leave the guilt behind. How wonderful his family is still there to help and support you both. I hope you have a relaxing trip knowing he is safe in the loving hands of his family. ((hugs))
Jackie, I agree GO! 7 months ago I visited my famiy in Europe and travelled alone. At that time my husband was still driving a car and he was still independent, but I was seeing him declining. I told my family that this would be my last trip to see them in some time because of the disease was taking over. I am so glad I went. The following month my husband lost his drivers' license. His decline has been rapid now he can only do 10 minute walks as his balance and strenght are bad. So glad I went when I could!
Flight/security/time difference: It was not as bad as you hear. You will do well. People will assist you if you have a problem. I have travel to Europe alone many many times and I find it an advendure.
Have fun! Your husband will be in good hands with his family looking after him. Call him....it's easy and affordable!
jackie--first of all, I believe that Stage 6 would be considered advanced AD. It is wonderful that he can go to DC and walk your daughter down the aisle. It is also wonderful that he was able to tell you that he doesn't want to go to England. If I was in your shoes, I would have absolutely no guilt about going to England because he will be well looked after and you are actually following his wishes by leaving him at home. I think it would be harder if he begged you to let him go and if you felt you had to turn him down. I have hired a geriatric care manager most of the times I left town, because there were usually no relatives who are able/willing to be responsible for my husband. It's great that he has family that can assume that role. Enjoy the wedding!
jackie whatever you decide of course I would back you up. However....I hope that you can take the trip and have a wonderful time, and your dh can stay home safely.
jackie, go and enjoy yourself. Your husband is telling you he not only doesn't want to go, but probably is not up to making the trip. No guilt about the trip. Who better to care for him than family? You'll both feel safe. Enjoy both ceremonies, weddings are so special.
jackie--you are very blessed (and I'm sure you know it) in having family who are willing to care for your husband in this situation. As some of the others have said, by all means go and enjoy yourself. My DH used to love to travel, but he doesn't like to be away from home at night anymore. Since your DH seems to be communicating that he doesn't feel up to traveling, you shouldn't feel any guilt whatsoever. Enjoy the weddings!
Thank you all for your support. I am going to go. I talked with everyone and they all agree he will be fine. It is a good thing, he tells me he has been having trouble going to the bathroom. So we are now on the miralax. I have read the stories. Not looking forward to this. Then last night he got up at 1:00 and would not go back to bed. He said people were laughing at him and thought he was stupid. I calmed him and got him to sleep on the sofa. I guess I knew he shouldn't go. But these two things confirmed it. He wil be in good hands with people who love him and he is familiar with. I hate this because today is bad but tomorrow could be a good day. An yes good be a day worse than today. We will get through it. I will thanks to you guys and family.
Jackiem29, Enjoy that wonderful May wedding. Glad to hear that you have made your decision to go. When I went to Europe 7 months ago may husband didn't want to go either. He wasn't as advanced as yours but looking back I believe that he was reluctant because he felt more comfortable in his familar surroundings with people and places he knew. Enjoy and travelling mercies for you