I found this online today, and it really resonated with me. It was what the late Roger Ebert had to say about losing one's voice, and how it related to people who were caregivers. I particularly liked "Silence isn't golden, if it's forced", and "Because of the digital revolution I have a voice and do not need to scream". So many of us come here to use our "digital voice" so we do not scream. (The article was on AgingCare.com, and was by Anne-Marie Botek.)
"While his thoughts on Citizen Kane are indeed profound, it is Ebert's approach to the challenges he faced in his final years of life that should be most resonant to the millions of men and women tasked with taking care of ailing elderly loved ones.
After all, many family caregivers share a surprisingly similar struggle with Ebert—the loss of their true voice.
Silence isn't golden, if it's forced
In 2006, four years after being diagnosed with cancer, Ebert's jaw had to be removed, costing him the ability to eat, breathe and speak on his own.
Though they lack the dramatic physical limitations of Ebert, caregivers too can find their voices and opinions become muted, even non-existent, once they begin taking care of an elderly loved one.
An endless parade of difficult doctors, drawn-out phone calls with health insurance companies and confusing searches for senior housing can drown out even the strongest caregiver's voice.
Many individuals also find themselves in a state of forced silence when dealing with issues more close to home, such as having to hold their tongue when a dementia-stricken loved one acts out, or a family member refuses to help.
According to Ebert, this loss of voice—no matter how it happens, or how reversible it is—causes a person to change in a profound way.
"The act of speaking or not speaking is tied so indelibly to one's identity as to force the birth of a new person when it's taken away," he says in a 2011 TED Talk (see video below) in which his wife and two friends (fellow TED presenters, Dr. Dean Ornish and educator John Hunter) act as substitute orators.
Voices recaptured and identities reclaimed online--
Ironically, being rendered permanently speechless didn't steal Ebert's voice—it strengthened it. It forced him to forge a newer, more powerful identity.
"I am here as a man who wants to communicate," Ebert, via Hunter's voice, proclaims.
His argument: even though circumstance may steal our ability to speak, technology can give us all a chance to be heard.
"On the web, my real voice finds expression," he says. "Because of the digital revolution, I have a voice and do not need to scream."
This same revelation often strikes caregivers when they come across web-based resources, such as online caregiver communities, forums and support groups.
In these insulated, intimate gatherings, caregivers can translate their silent screams into digital discussions, gaining valuable tips, advice and support from one another to help them navigate the muddy waters of caring for their elderly loved ones."
I did not mean to take credit for Anne-Marie Botek's words. She wrote the article. My input is just the first paragraph at the top. Sorry if that wasn't clear.