I'm tired and am going to bed early tonight. I just wanted to give everyone a head's up that I will be writing a blog either tomorrow or over the weekend about my first day of therapy. I saw the psychologist today for an hour and a half. What I liked about her was that she is very knowledgeable about Alzheimer grieving. Apparently, I'm in better mental health shape than I thought, but the experience was quite interesting, and I do want to pass on to everyone what I learned that may help you. I'm not in a major depression, suicidal, or unstable (good to know), so we agreed to another appointment in two weeks. I'm not an emergency "every week" case (also good to know).
I am also seeing a therapist...someone I saw who helped me after the deaths of my parents...it is so important to find someone who really knows how to listen and who can help and if they feel they can't will refer you to one whom they know is good and can better meet your needs. I have visited with my therapist twice..and her goal for me now is to learn to take time for myself and learn to relax some. Twice a day take 10 minutes out for myself and go to a place that is quiet and breathe and pay attention to how I feel when I do breathe properly. I find it slows my mind down from racing and thinking about all the stuff needing done that has here to fore gone left for tomorrow...and frustrates the hell out of me. A second goal is, now that I am on this Zoloft, when I feel some side effects, to go lie down for a few minutes to relax and notice how I begin to feel in letting the medication do what it is supposed to do. First slow me down as I tend to be wired! We will be getting into more depth as we go along but as she already knows much of my background it is nice not to have to reinvent the wheel and we can delve into the sense of loss in the coming visits. I am glad, Joan, you are getting the help you need and are willing to share it. I would bet there are many of us going through this process now and anything we can learn and share will help others too.
One thing I did learn about the stress issues....we are under stress far greater than we even imagine. It is only when we start to have symptoms, i e migraines, buzzies in our face or hand..something like that that causes us to run to the doctor for it, being scared we have MS or something, that we come to realize how far into the stress and anxiety problems we have fallen. It is so important to get help for this and to not fear an antianxiety med if your doctor suggests it is necessary even if one does not work and sends you into orbit the first time. I am now on Zoloft and doing so much better now...still a few side effects but so worth it to feel calmer so my thinking can be clearer.
I too am glad, Joan, you are getting the help you need and are willing to share it. Last week my Dr gave me a scrpt for Cymbalta, a new, non-addictive anti-depressant (so she said) ...I have the tablets but too scared to start on them, I would really like to try therapy first. I don't feel like I'm depressed, not suicidal... just sad. I have always managed to fight off depression, and will try again this time. We are all different and if therapy doesn't help, I will go on it
This is an interesting topic. I found at my 6-month dental cleaning, along with new X-Rays, that in the past six months, I have pushed my teeth away from my jaw bones. It is really obvious in my X-rays. The back teeth on my upper right are loose and I may lose the back one in the future. I was asked if I have stress headaches in my neck and shoulders. Yes, I have had for a few years. I was told that I clench my teath, not grind, and the clenching is pushing my jaws away from my teeth. They are making a splint that fits on my lower jaw which will keep it from getting worse.
This has all happened in the last six months. Between issues with DH and a lot of stress with another family issue, this caused it. Until my dentest pointed this clenching out to me, I didn't realize I was doing it. And I'm the one who is handling it all so well.
Just another thing to be aware of that stress can cause.
Joan, I'm so glad to read that you ar going for therapy. Maybe this will give me the courage to get started on it myself. I have the names of several therapists from my social worker but have yet to give a call.
Also, as for Cymbalta, I started this a couple of months ago, very gradually, and have had no ill effects from it. So far, I'm not sure if its helping or not; I think it might be. I'm not as "down" as I was a few weeks ago bu there have been some other grief issues in my life that I could be coming to terms with finally. I hope so. But I wouldn't hesitate to go on an antidepressant if you need it.
Julia, that is what I told my neurologist who just happens to be a shrink in the bargain! No I am not depressed, don't want to play in the traffic, hurt myself or anyone else..but he then listed all kinds of symptoms and to those questions I answered yes....anxiety. I took the Lexapro and it was beyond terrible...was scared to try the Zoloft..the doctor started it off on a lower dose and then after 8 days full dose...there were a few very mild side effects. I went on full dose on the 11th Feb and now have few if any side effects now and I feel so much calmer, not so sad, don't feel like running away and never looking back and I can contend with my DH and all the questions etc in a more calm manner. Don't be afraid to start your med..maybe you can call the doctor and see if you can start on a lower dose, the risk being it will take a couple weeks more to get used to it...I also see a therapist who is helping me learn to work with the meds so I get the best results.. It is worth a try. What I did learn is that by the time I started having migraines, and the sensory issues of tingles, I was already far into the stresses and anxiety and my doctor told me straight away that if I did not take steps to deal with all of this NOW I will get very sick...he scared the hell out of me..maybe a heart attack, nervous breakdown who knows..but we have to function.. Your doctor is there to help you so let him/her...
Well into AD, DH had surgery and UCLA told me to stay in the hospital w/him. So they put a cot in for me and it was a HORRIBLE experience. He didn't know where he was, had no idea what the surgery was, thought it was his shoulder but it was his abdomen, pulled at the IV's, wanted to get up, didn't understand the cathetor, couldn't buzz the nurse for pain or anything else, couldn't unwrap his food to eat, on and on. My son would spell me a few hours in the afternoon but by the 3rd day I came apart--again I remind you, I've always been one of the strong ones! I hired a nurse to watch him and fled home to have the mother of all crying jags, my ears plugged up, I couldn't stop, my head was throbbing, body shaking, I was frightened and called my doc. Fortunately he saw me right away and gave me Xanax. I took 1/2 and it really calmed me down. Normal people should be able to contend with normal trauma, but what we go thru is NOT normal. Doc said, in effect, that from now on, 'your husband's condition will dictate yours.' Sometimes one needs a sling for a broken arm, a crutch for a broken leg, and a pill for a broken life. I was glad for the Xanax, it brought me back to normal and I never became addicted.
Mimi...I going to see my Dr for the results of blood test taken last week, I will speak to her again. I watched my Mum get addicted to valium, when that was all there was...but then again that's going back years when not alot was known about anti-depressants...I just have a fear of them, the minute I would start to feel any side effect, I would have a panic attach, that's just me. If you find it helps you by all means, that's good. I have friends who are on Zoloft, and it helps them. I've had a couple of counselling sessions with our Alz Ass goup and I do feel better afterwards,So I try a few more and see how I go. Dr was going to start me on 30mg of Cymbalta....it's still an option, if I need it.
Bettyhere, I had the same experience when DH had stents put in after a heart attack. They had me stay with him in CCU and after a few hours, I was a nervous wreck. He pulled IV's out, threw them across the floor, asked me constantly why we couldn't go home and then thought we WERE home and someone was in our kitchen (nurses station). If my daughter hadn't relieved me part of the time, I would have gone completely crazy.
Julia, my DH has been taking 30 mg of Cymbalta for about 4 years now. It has really helped his mood and also his arthritis pain. No side effects. I think it's a good medication.
Dazed...I'm so gald Cymbalta has helped your DH....maybe they should have given it to my DH. I'll just try a few sessions of counselling and see how I go. I have heard from so many saying that Cymbalta has helped them, my DIL's mum is on them. It's comforting to hear good comments on Cymbalta.. I have the tablets at home, just never started on them. JanK in another thread talked about grief...I think that and sadness is what I'm going through. Not feeling guilty anymore, I can see he's getting good care and he needs to be there.
Coco..thank you, I hope you are or very close to being guilt free. We can only do much much, and I am proud of you...you amazed me with how well and how you handled everything of late. If nothing else, I think I am stronger for this journey, as i can tell you are too....now we can do anything!
julia - someone here a few years ago mentioned Serenity Formula. I took it for a while then stopped. i feel the need again so am ordering some more. I have been on Desyrel and Prozac. Desyrel cause massive weight gain, Prozac caused muscle tingling in my neck and shoulders which drove me crazy. I took it every other day to avoid those side effects. The Serenity Formula worked well so am sticking with the natural.