I thought I had licked this problem about 6 months ago with my daily dose of Immodium. The Immodium worked well at controlling the incontinence, but gave poor hubby a severe blockage that we managed to dislodge in December - no more Immodium. Now, he's back to the incontinence issue again. I don't know what to do. I can't seem to take him anywhere, even at home, I never know when disaster will strike. I can't think of anything more disgusting than cleaning up a poopy mess made by a grown man - yuk!!!
So, my question is: I know this is common for the stage of AD dh is in and that many of you have faced this problem. Do you just stay home and never take dh anywhere for fear of what will happen or.....what?
mothert, i went thru this for avery long time too. this is where investing in the plastic sani pants to put over the depends is very helpful. you put them over the depends and they have elastic waist and legs, it helps 'contain' any thing they may do while out and about. not ideal but its the best we have in this case. you dont want to leave a trail behind when walking if you get my drift. you can also sit spouse in back seat on a towel just in case. and maybe take them out but just to places where you can do a drive thru say for lunch and not have to actually go inside. many times just getting out of the house for a drive is good for stress levels for you both. now there isnt much you can do as far as odor control if you go out either. take a small can of spray the mens body sprays they sell in the grocers work well. cheap and mask the smell if you need it. i know, this is rather repulsive, but if you are caught in a public place it does help some. when it happens you just bundle them up and back home for a shower and change. not much else to do. sometimes you may get a reprieve on when it hits and get a while out to enjoy yourself. i had many a time i would just get into the car and him buckled in and it happened. sigh. i remember the stress well. remember there are MANY folks out there that have incontinence issues without AD, and its more common than we think. its part of our life now and we deal however we can. others will just have to deal if it happens. hope this helps some. divvi
Hi Divvi, thank you so much for being here, I was hoping you would show up.
As dh has been destroying his under and over pants at a fairly rapid clip lately, I've resumed discussions about using the Depends and Sani Pants, etc. (I have it all from your earlier recommendations). He's still reluctant because, as is common, he doesn't remember the problem or that he even has a problem. But, he is running out of undies and pants so he's going to have to comply soon.
Home Assessment folks are coming today, that should be enlightening. He also frowns when I tell him that they are coming because he doesn't need any of that (right). Anyway, I guess we're rolling on down the AD dark trail, like it or not, I don't think I can control this one.
Thanks for your helpful comments, Divvi. Btw, Divvi, I don't remember if your dh is still with you, sorry to have to ask?? I know that you are almost always the one with the answers and I appreciate you so much LOL.
oh yes, mothert, dh is very much still with me! lol. no * as yet thank goodness. aww hes bedridden and hardly walks at all now and rarely leaves his bedroom. but yes hes still smiley and doing well for late stage 7. we have been in this plateau now 2 yrs in stage 7! if your DH wont wear the depends, maybe at least you could slip the plastic ones over his regular underwear. it would help 'contain'. thats a real issue when out and about.. and it will help keep the wet urine stains off his clothing til you get home and not visible. AND may as well say it now, using a dark pant, navy or black works best for incontinence issues. light colors show wetness quickly or stains. :( i know, but it is what it is. mothert, there came a time, when i too just had to put it to my dh that if he wanted to go out with me, it was a depend and sani pant, or he had to stay home with the aide. its tough love, but it worked. if you have tried to clean up a mess while they are in regular underwear while out, well you see my point. it has to be tossed into garbage and hopefully the regular pants were unaffected. its just not reasonable to have them not in depends if they are incontinent. divvi
When I take him out for his rides, I also put one of those pads on his seat. (It took a soaked seat to learn that...)
And here where it is warm, he strickly wears pull on fleece type exercise shorts, with no zippers and snaps. Perhaps you could substitute those long cotton pull up pants,(sweat pants), that way, if there is an accident, it is much easier to change him. I am sure you are already having a bag in the car with all the supplies, wipes, towels, clothes, depends etc.
It was not long before I totally just used depends, and no underwear. But in the beginning I put them on OUTSIDE...maybe your guy would go for that. It may just be that you will have to say no more rides if you don't comply...(lol?)
Yes it is a drag if we cannot take them out anymore. Hope it works out mothert.
My husband just recently became urine incontinent. When he goes out, whether it is with me or to day care, he always wears dark colored sweat pants and shirts. This way if he leaks it's not as noticeable. I learned this from this site. I have put double depends on him but haven't used the sani-pants yet. My problem right now is how to keep him from getting soaked while he sleeps. He is a side sleeper and it seems from my reading that it is difficult to keep him dry for that reason.
My DH has had a few incontinence episodes (both urinary and bowel) since November. Not consistent -- just sporadic. I had noticed lately that his tummy looked bloated and he was belching a lot. I was getting worried about maybe needing for him to have a colonoscopy but know he would never drink all the prep liquid. Then it hit me earlier today -- I switched him over to using Splenda instead of sugar a few months ago since his blood sugar was rather high. He drinks coffee constantly and I was buying sugar free jelly with Splenda in it for his toast (also makes that a lot during the day as well). Some of the side effects of Splenda include diarrhea, belching and bloating. So I guess I'll be returning that big bag of Splenda I bought this morning at Sam's Club (thank goodness I didn't open it yet). Now I have to figure out how to monitor his sugar intake -- he just uses copious amounts for his coffee. Sometimes I have to refill the sugar bowl twice in one day -- I guess it's time to tell him we're spending too much money on sugar (which is actually the truth)! It's always something isn't it! I hope this wasn't too off topic but it did seem to fit in well with the whole incontinence thread.
Coco - thanks, that is a good idea having him put his regular undies on over the top of the Depends. If it were the other way around, he'd be destroying his regular undies. I did tell him that when he'd gone through all of his regular undies that I wasn't going to buy him any more. I hate being so mean. Also, he has very thin legs and I wonder how well a large load (sorry, he is a grown man :-)) will stay in and not leak out through the legs? Now that his large bloated belly is gone, perhaps I can buy his smaller Depends and rubber outer pants. Thanks to all of you who advised me to keep his smaller waist pants when I was complaining about his ever expanding tummy (all my fault I have to admit), because they all fit him once again. When I undertook ridding him of his blockage he actually lost about 15 lbs almost overnight - that poop is heavy!
And, I will buy him some dark sweats. He's cold all of the time because of his CKD and that is how I will sell the fleece lined sweats to him. Always a game to be played. So contrary to my nature; however, I have always needed to develop more diplomacy - that, too, is not part of my DNA LOL.