I have been following this post, but never commented. You're a strong person, loving & kind. I don't think it's wrong to pray for a swift end now - for your sake & for hers. I have not been in that position yet, & I'd like to think that's what I would do - but - until I'm there, I won't know for sure. I almost feel a little jealous, that there is so much love & compassion in you. i can only hope that I reach a point where I will be able to follow your example.You are an inspiration. In my thoughts & prayers.
Dear Sweet Jim, You are there for her, and with all you've been told, you are already feeling alone. I believe she is comforted and truly feels you are there, and that you should also feel comfort in that, and know that you have helped her through the worst. This is a time for you to catch your breath, gain your strength, and feel grateful for the tender mercy that has been given to you, that you can escort her all the way. You have been the best of partners in life, and more than I'm sure she knew you would be. Take comfort, Jim. My prayers are ongoing. Hugs!
Jim, I too am new here and although I've followed this thread for quite a while I feel a bit like an intruder in your sorrow, since so many others have traveled this road with you. I just want to add my prayers and good wishes to you and your beloved Kathryn. Very few spouses will ever be as cared for and loved as she has been. You are astonishing. I believe that God will bring you the peace and ability to move forward that you surely deserve. I also pray for an easy passing for Kathryn, and that the good memories will erase the sadness in your heart.
Kathryn has now been twelve days without food or water and the doctor says her heart is strong because she is so young and she could hang on for a few more days or go at anytime. There is no way to know how long it will be. He advised me to go home but I told him I promised to keep her long as I could take care of her and that when I couldn't I would stay with her where ever she was. He said he understood and that I was welcome to stay for as long as I needed to. Kathryn is out of pain and still appears to be resting peacefully for now.
Jim..my heart goes out to you. Stay with Kathryn...you will be glad you did and will never regret it. It is time to make the very last memories with her, so take advantage of it...Sing her favorite songs (even if you can't sing), and constantly remind her that you are with her forever, and that you will always love her. Pray with her, and hug her often. I fear that you do not have much time left with her. Hang in there buddy!!
Jim, I echo everything Frank said above. I am sure there is no where you would rather be than to be with Kathryn. I was fortunate to spend those last hours with my husband, and I will always be grateful for that honor. Bless you both.
Kathryn's blood pressure is now 70/52, her pulse is 118 and her oxygen is 93%. When she breaths she takes one inhale and two exhales with each breath and her breathing stops in between breaths. The doctor explained all this to me but that makes it no less nerve hacking to sit here knowing that each breath may be her last. I believe Kathryn left Friday morning when she closed her eyes for the last time for all purposes. She has not woke since and the doctor said she will not wake up again and that she isn't really there anymore. But it is still nerve hacking each time her breathing stops and then goes again for 20 - 30 seconds.
I was looking for something in the computer tonight and found the bucket list we had made last year for when we were going to retire at the end of next year. It was heart breaking looking at it and knowing that we would never do them together. That we would not be doing any of the things we had planed for retirement together.
Jim....my heart breaks for you. Try your best to not look at things that will break your heart right now you need all the strength you have and you are under so much stress. Think about what was and what wonderful love the two of you had for each other not what might have been. You were so lucky to have her for so many years and she to have you. You know you have all our support and love through these final hours or days and please try and get a little rest when you can. God bless you and Kathryn.
Jim, My heart breaks for you as I read your posts. Words can not express my deep sorrow at your most diffcult hour. Jim I pray you can rest with comfort knowing that your Kathryn is entering heavens gates and will suffer no more.