Just when things were going along smoothly, I knew it was too good to last. Got a call 2 days ago, Dh was refusing to take his meds. At lunch time that day they tried to give him his meds, but no way, he was not having it., and got very agitated. The tables were set for lunch and they said he grabbed a knife abd started threatning the carers and other residents...they managed to get him to the kitchen away from others, but then he put his hand in the hot water of the bain-marie. They had no option but to call ambulance which took him to ER. The physic (spell) Dr's checked him out, had urine, blood tests scans etc...all clear. They kept him overnight in ER, and said they had no beds in the wards, would have to find him a bed in another hospital. He got sent to our big teaching hospital 1 hour away, where he'll stay till he settles. So far he is still not settled, the NH will not have him back till he is....I am so worried they won't take him back and he may end up anywhere...who knows where! Visiting hours there are only from 3-5 pm...I don't drive far and not late in the day in peak traffic...would find it so hard to go the hours drive in peak hour trafic, so I'm hopinh to go on the weekend to see him. Funny thing...he did seem quite restless the last few days before this, for the first time not knowing the family and had started to be incontinenet..seemed like something was brewing.
I know this happens, and I'm thinking it's anothe decline downwards....how long did it take for anyone's loved one here to get settled after an incident...Elaine H I remember quite recenty you went through it.. Thank you.
I think that Divvi has posted that urinary infections do not always show up the first time they do tests, and he may need tested again and in a few days. All of his symptoms sound like ones that others have posted as a UTI. The word incontinence jumped out at me. This is just a suggestion; others will be along with more experience than I have. Sending prayers your way, dear Julia.
i also agree they should do a 3day culture to be sure. bacteria doesnt always show right away. mine has taken up to 4days then its prolific and warrants meds. it does sound like a classic uti i agree with mary becoming incontinent is usually a good sign of it too if they werent along with the aggressive nature all of a sudden. drastic changes in personality can sometimes be from infection too. we just never know what can trigger them. good luck hope they can settle him down.
Thank you Mary75* and divvi. He did have a UTI last year when he was home and became agressive, then ended up in hospital for a week, even gave them trouble there in hospital. Boy it's so hard to get any imformation from hospital staff or Dr's. Lets see what today brings, I ring the hospital this afternoon after Dr's have seen him again
Oh Julia, how familiar that sounded. Yes you remember correctly. My DH became aggressive & combative & so the Veterans Home sent him up to Johns Hopkins (an hour & a half away) to be evaluated & have his meds adjusted. That was on January 4th …......... he is still there. I have only been there 3 times to see him, the last being 2 days ago. I am very pleased with the care he is getting there. The doctor is nice & I know that he is doing the best that he can. He has DH on Depakote & Zyprexa, but he is still paranoid. The doctor said that he will probably send DH back to the Veterans Home next week. He is hopeful that these meds will work. DH still knows me & he recognized our daughter, but he is pretty sedated. It's, of course, not the life I want for him, but if he is being aggressive, what other choice is there. My DH has never had a UTI, but I agree with the others, Julia. You might want to insist they do another culture. Dear Julia, I know what you are going through & I send you HUGS & I'll pray for you.
Hoping for the best Julia----sending hugs your way. Sometimes you do have to keep those DRs on their toes by being up on all they are doing(or not doing).
Hi Elaine ,Thank you for your prayers.... Gosh it's been that long since your Dh went there. I'm just back from seeing DH, visiting hours on the weekend are 11 am - 8 pm...just as well. They said he's a little less aggressive, and not doing all the stuff the NH said he was doing, so that's a good thing.... they still need to do all the tests to see what sets him off like this. They are doing a culture and more scans. They stopped the Sodium Valporate, and is only on Respiredone now. He's in a phsyic ward, it's like a jail, locks on the doors outside with a grill/glass window to see in. I guess they know what their doing, and will try other meds like what your dh is on now...feel so helpless and don't have much say about what goes on I was worried about losing his room in the NH, but they assured me while he's in care getting his meds sorted they have to hold his room for us.....now it all depends on the Dr's whether and when they think it's safe for him to go back there.
thank you bak...I'm keeping an eye on those Dr's...trying my best to see he gets the best care..
You are doing a great job looking out for your DH, Julia. You must be exhausted. Hope that some good will come out of the hospital stay and that you will be able to get some rest tonight.
Thank you Cassie*..It is tiring running around, making sure he's OK, I know he would do the same for me. They tell me he asks for me all the time, "he loves you " they tell me. If only things could be different!
Julia - Like yours, my DH was taken away by the police in handcuffs and I lost control over him. He was in a locked-down mental facility, and I'm not going into all the details here, but I know what you are going thru. They did manage to get his violence under control and he was able to return to the care facility. I send you strength.
Thanks Bettyhere*...It's encouraging to hope they will get his meds and agitation under control like your Dh did. He's walking around in a size 10 open sandals, that they put on him...he wears size 6...all we need now is for him to trip / fall over and break a hip. I went back to pick up his slippers from the NH, they were so lovely, big hugs and best wishes for his return....as much as I cried when he went in there, I see now how much he needed to be there, and they really do a great job with dedication...
Julia I am so sorry for what you are all going through. I do see though, how lucky it was that you placed him when you did. That poor precious man. And what a lesson to all of us, to see what happens when they do not get their meds. Love to you Julia.
Thank you Coco....to top things off, today he punched one of the nurses, and had to be heavily sedated. I'm thinking, they will never let him go back to the NH if this keeps up. I pray they get him settled soon, they said this is the norm, till he settles. Could take weeks!
Since he is in the hospital, it is important that you refuse to take him back. If the NH will not take him, the hospital is then in the position to help find a new NH. The hospital will be very motivated to do so.
Thank you paulc...I will stand my ground, I know I just could not care for him now. How much difference a few weeks can make, back then I would have had him home, but not now. I am just worried where he will end up.