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  1.  
    Talked to our PCP when I went in for my physical today. I am calling Hospice tomorrow for an evaluation. Our PCP will sign off on it for me. DH is going down hill fast and at least with the evaluation I will know better where I stand.

    I know not to prep DH and let him just be himself. Is there anything else I need to do to make this go smother? I have talked with one DS and our 16 yo DD. Both are on board, will not tell anyone else until after we know if he qualifies.

    I fell sick, but I know that I am doing the right thing. I hope we are accepted.
  2.  
    Blue, you're doing it right. When I prepped my DH, and spent some of the time telling the nurse about his life and all, he was denied. When the next group came by, I didn't tell him anything, and he pulled every trick in the book, including going to the bathroom and coming out with his pants wet. He was accepted.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJudithKB*
    • CommentTimeFeb 5th 2013
     
    blue...sorry you feel this is necessary, but I think Hospice is so wonderful and such a big help to us that had them when needed. It made me feel so secure to know I had someone I could call on 24/7 and they would be there to help me. My dh also loved the attention. Keep us posted. I did find Hospice never thought my dh was as bad as I thought he was. Of course they didn't know him when he was a well person...they had nothing to judge from regarding how much he had declined.
  3.  
    My wife was seen by her PCP Monday. She (the PCP) brought up the possibility of hospice, but said my wife is not ready yet. I agree.
  4.  
    marsh--- It sounds like you have a very good Dr. A Dr. who brings the information to the table so you know where you are (as much as we can) and what's likely next ahead. You are fortunate.

    At least with our PCP, I only had to ask, and he agreed to request the evaluation.

    Another Dr. we had would not tell DH there could be no more driving and made the referral for the Driving Evaluation to get his license back, knowing the medical evaluation portion he(the Dr.) would complete would kill the application. Referring for the evaluation was tantamount to lying to DH, IMO.

    As hard as it is, I am sure,to make a diagnosis of a terminal condition, and knowing informing the patient and family of that Dx is also very difficult, I still think sidestepping it with an interim Dx (MCI?) or doing as our dr. did about the Driving, is a disservice to the patient and Caregiver. It sure doesn't help us and undermines any confidence we can have in the care we're being given.
  5.  
    The nurse and social worker just left. We were approved. So glad to have someone who can help 24/7.

    Thank you all for your help. I could not have done this without you.
  6.  
    blue my heart yet again goes out to you. This all seems so fast. Many good wishes and hugs for you.
  7.  
    I just told DH brother, he is in disbelief. After losing their father to now be facing this, is hard for him.

    I am ready to just sit here and cry my eyes out. Yesterday was the 3 year anniversary of his dx. From working full time to Hospice in three years.

    Coco, hope all is well with you.
    • CommentAuthordivvi*
    • CommentTimeFeb 6th 2013
     
    blue they can last a very long time on hospice! and they are recerted every so often.
  8.  
    We may be able to get DD home from Afghanistan! Made the call to the Red Cross. Fingers crossed!!!

    Call from one of the sons too!!!!

    Joan, you are so right, sooner rather than later. Thanks for the wise words.

    I love you guys :)))
    •  
      CommentAuthorJudithKB*
    • CommentTimeFeb 7th 2013
     
    blue....my heart goes out to you and your family. But, don't count your chicken's before they are hatched. Hospice can be there for a long time. You are the one that really knows your dh and you can really judge for yourself better then they can. You will find the help you get from them will ease some of the burden from you. Please keep us posted and know we are here for you 24/7.
  9.  
    I know that we may have a long road ahead. But in my heart I feel like it will be sooner. DH was always a big man. And now he is down to 210. The biggest thing is his muscle mass loss. Arms, legs, hands, feet. Just in the past few weeks. When he lays down, his breathing is different and where his ribs end. His abdomen is con caved. You can feel each rib. The look he has is changed. It is little things, he is weaker too, I don't know how to put it into words. It is just a feeling.....

    All I know is I have help and I prayed for wisdom and feel that God has guided me this way for a reason.
    •  
      CommentAuthorJudithKB*
    • CommentTimeFeb 7th 2013
     
    So sorry blue...remember, you know him better then anyone and your judgment is probably very right on.
    Take care and you and your family will be in my prayers.
  10.  
    We're here for you, Blue.
    •  
      CommentAuthorAnchor20*
    • CommentTimeFeb 11th 2013 edited
     
    Blue, Kathryn's doctor said I should have her evaluated last year about this time. I called Hospice and they came out. I was sure they would look at her and say she didn't meet the need to have hospice involoved at that time. That isn't what happened. They said she did meet the need and began the next day. She had only been diagnosed three years and 3 months prior to that time and you could have knocked me over with a feather. I thought that it was a death sentence and that she would die within six months. I can't begin to tell you how much it hurt to hear them say that. But guess what? It has been a year come March 8th and she is still with me and still walking around the living room. She has lost 100 pounds and I think I will loose her before to long. She is not doing well at all and the problems seem to just keep getting worse everyday now. But understand that being approved by hospice doesn't mean there is a date requirement. They are a great group of people who have made everything so much easier for us both during the last year.

    Let them help you anyway they can. I personally think the best part is being able to call them any time day or night when you have something going on and having them help you understand what is happening and what to do and them come out to your house to help if it is needed. You learn how to handle more become more comfortable with you own abilities to handle them.

    JimB
  11.  
    Update, Last Saturday DH kids came in for a visit. Even his estranged DD. I am so glad she came. We talked a lot and she now understands why so many things happened the way they did. Also keeping up with them both on fb now. Big news my DD and SIL are on their way home, stateside now and coming in tonight for two weeks emergency leave. I am happy to see them and yet saddened as to why they are coming. So many changes. I will be busy the next few days.

    My love to all, I pray for all of you every day.
  12.  
    Blue - so happy for you about your family being there and understanding many things. I'm sure that is a help to you. We didn't have hospice long but they were such a comfort to me. Every time I see the silver star on our mailbox I'm reminded how diligent they were. (The star was because our house is not easy to find and that tagged us for them). My prayers for you and yours.
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      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeFeb 20th 2013
     
    Sending all of you prayers and love.
  13.  
    Just a small update. In the last 7 weeks DH has lost 8 lbs. He is down to 202 lbs. In the last week he is wanting to go to bed around 1 or 2 in the afternoon and sometimes sleep through to the next morning. His eyes are sunken in now. He does not eat or drink as much now. And moving very slowly. So sad to watch. He is also getting very stiff? His poor hands and feet are so thin, almost no muscle left on them.

    I try to keep up with everyone here and am always keeping you all in my prayers.
  14.  
    Sending love and prayers Blue....this is so hard...♥
  15.  
    Thinking of you, blue. This has to be heartbreaking for you and the family. Prayers for you all.
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      CommentAuthorNikki
    • CommentTimeApr 1st 2013
     
    ((blue)) My heart goes out to you. I hope Hospice is being helpful. The loss of muscle and rigidity is tough to witness. There are exercises you can do to help with the stiffness, Hospice should be able to teach you them. If it is his hands, they also have tools they can place in the hand to keep it from clenching. Love and hugs ((blue))
  16.  
    Poor Dh is pacing almost all the time he is up, otherwise he wants to be in bed. And then is up and down until he falls asleep. He is more unsteady on his feet too. Lost two more pounds in the last week. Thank you for your prayers.
    So much I need to get done around the house, just can't seem to get it done. I just want to cry.
  17.  
    love you blue. I really do. I hope that your tears are the kind that help, at least a bit.
  18.  
    Blue, so sorry to hear your suffering. Prayers are raised for you..may tomorrow bring you some comfort and peace. Take care ((hugs))
    • CommentAuthorElaine K
    • CommentTimeApr 5th 2013
     
    Blue, I'm so sorry. Don't worry about the house -- it will still be there. Praying for you and your DH and lots of ((hugs)).
  19.  
    Just got word that DD should be home in two weeks! I am so happy. Please keep her and SIL in your prayers. I will be so happy to have both of them home from Afghanistan. xSIL is back as of three weeks ago and has the grandsons. On pins and needles.
    DH is still declining and now bitting his finger nails down to nothing. Going to ask the nurse tomorrow about any meds we can try. Need to calm the OCD.

    Been so stressed that my house is looking really clean and organized. I do that when stressed. :)
  20.  
    What good news for you, blue! So happy you're happy! Hope you can get something for the fingernail biting.
    •  
      CommentAuthorNikki
    • CommentTimeApr 9th 2013
     
    Fantastic news blue! ((hugs))
  21.  
    Doin' a happy dance, blue! Great news......