I am just beside myself. DH was starting to have little accidents so he agreed to wear Depends with ordinary knit briefs over them. He doesn't realize that even though the Depends don't feel wet, they are. I can't get him to take off the wet pair for dry ones. He just won't cooperate. I have threatened him with all sorts of stuff, infections, odor, etc. Even said I would have to get a man in here to help me out. I should save my breath as there is no reasoning.
You could try a physical fiblet. Bring him a glass of water, knock it over, or trip and spill it in his lap. Now he has to change. His clothes ARE wet.
Once you get his cooperation, there is a technique for changing pullups without taking pants off. The first step is to tear each side of the soiled pullup to get it off. After that, I never mastered getting the new pullup over the pants legs (I know the person must be seated)--perhaps someone else can describe it. A good way to do this is to give a treat like a candy bar, place him on the toilet, and proceed. The nice thing about this technique is that you don't have to struggle getting the pants off and then, back on.
having the knit briefs over the depends makes them accept them better but is double trouble to get the depends changed underneath. i did this for years too. he seemed to accept the depends with reg briefs over them but having to remove pants, briefs and then depend all while his knuckles go white hanging on to them with the 'death grip' as i affectionately call it. if you can get them to the commode area or a seat you can be VERY fast and jerk the whole thing down around the ankles and ask them to sit down, like i say very very fast before they can grab them. once the death grip is on this trick is useless:) once they are around the ankles you pick up each foot to take the whole thing off.the more you do this it becomes easier and quicker. sometimes i had to put a chair behind him whereever he was and proceed to do it then and there. the bathroom became an obstacle as he knew what i was planning. ha. they are VERY clever regardless of AD. if you have time and care to smile a bit read the whole incontinence thread. its a duzzy. many tips from just about everyone who deals with it. you will find something that works for you both. once they are seated a treat worked well for DH as well. usually a candy bar. alot like toddler training:)
I do like Divvi does.Yank everything down at once.Then I put depends and pants on together.one foot at a time thru depends and pants legs,sometimes he balks on the second foot and I have to yell "put your foot in" he pulls them up himself.One thing,he always wants to tuck his T-shirt in the depends,that's NO-NO, gets wet,then that's another whole ballgame.I usually tell him not to pee on me and he giggles.
One of the problems I am having is that he won't let me have power over him. I talk to him very nicely and ask if I can help him to make the job easier. Too independent and, of course, thinks the Depends are dry because they don't feel wet. Always was a bit of a control freak and it is showing up now.
Fudge didn't work, he claimed he wasn't hungry. I hid it so he doesn't get any until I say so.
Somedays are awfully difficult to live through.
I am paying close attention to all of your tips and will use them.
shirley, something that worked a few times for me was to have him hold a dry depends and then the wet one and tell him the heavy one was wet and to put on the dry one, of course you have to get it off of him to do that although hanging between his legs he could tell it was heavy. someday i may laugh about this.
I often tell Sonny to feel how heavy the wet depends are,he wouldn't want to walk around with all that weight.Another thing,he prefers the womens depends,says they are softer,I keep my Amish neighbor supplied with depends and he prefers the womens also.Anyone else here notice
yhouniey they are very nice but the legs for the womens are cut up higher and if your spouse is bigger around the waist and legs they could work well. mine has bird legs and they dont even close around his leg! everything!!!! leaks out. ugh. i mistakeingly bought a womans pack instead and tried to use them. so if your spouse has thin legs beware.
tThe womens seem to be working better than the mens,I did try the adjustable ones,they leaked badly.I had a bunch of them from my last dog,he had prostate cancer and was incontinent for a few monthe before we had to euthanize him.
Shirley, there are other times to be nice all day long. Cleaning them up and getting them into dry Depends and pants requires me being assertive. Let me tell you now - you never want to get mad and try to rip off the Depends. They go to pieces and the stuff that gets all over the floor (even just wet) is a huge mess. There are times it is a freakin' battle...BUT I always win. I have gotten the pants off, gotten him in the tub, washed, dried, and dressed again with him fighting the entire time. If nothing else, I get to chalk up one more "win" for me. I never ever just change the Depends. I always at least wash him with a warm soapy wash cloth and rinse and dry. I am too afraid of him getting some kind of rash or infection so he is always clean. Doesn't matter if he likes it or not. You just gotta do what you gotta do! Divvi, Lloyd has bird legs too!