Respite: Joan said "Get help before you think you need it" the last day of 2012. So I did. Called VA, DO's a Vet, and said I was "Wearing thin..." I was beginning to make mistakes. Told them he's not safe alone at night because if the power goes out (I live in Rural USA), he'd never (cognitively) be able to switch his oxygen over to tanks. He'd be dead. I needed help. I explained some of the life with dementia. So long story short: They gifted me some Respite! They encouraged me to use it ASAP, I was in pretty rough shape. I found coverage for the livestock and such, and someone to watch house. Then I took him to see the place. He verbally kicked, screamed, hollored and yelled (it's in an earlier discussion). Next week I dropped him off, went to West Coast to visit Granddaughters and trusted him to their care. He did great! Liked it. Slept fine. Good roommate. Managed bout stomach flu easily. Only complaints were related to food and lights at night. So the advice, "Get help, get help now..." is soooo important. See if it's out there, it just might be. The Social Worker is where I started; with a polite call to Patient Advocate to watch over process just in case... I am now fresh and back again. Planning our future, not just muddling thru it. Good advice. Get help...
I too am trying to get help before I need it. Working with my financial advisor to get ready to apply for Medicaid. I am placing him in assisted living. Spent most of the fall looking at facilities. I have done respite for 2-3 days and it was wonderful. I have also paid a caregiver to take him for the day. Did both of these before I thought I needed it. The thing with Alzheimers (at least with me) is I just keep going and going and never really stop to think if I need it. By the time I do stop to think about it, It is long overdue!!