...To all my Caregiving Friends:

...Since I haven't posted anything for a couple months, I thought I
Would try to contribute somthing of value to anyone who may be in the
same boat with me. However, since I happen to be 91 years old the boat
will not be very crowded.
...Most everyone here is a generation younger than me and I realize
that when your happy life is taken from you in the middle, it's much
more traumatic than when it happens near the end.
...In my case, my Dear Helen started showing the first signs about eight
years ago and progressed as usual with vascular dementia untill the end
on Sept.4,2012. But looking back on that eight year journey, I would
have to say that there were happy times throughout the whole trip except
for the last ten days when she was clearly dying. Although as the disease
progressed, the happy times became more rare, and as they became fewer,
they became more happy and more meaningfull. The slightest smile on her
face meant the world to me.
...For Dear Helen's last eight months I had to place her in a local rest
home (Hillcrest, in La Verne Calif.) Only a ten minute drive from our
home. I spent a lot of time there, visiting three and a half hours every
day, and I became friends with the nurses and staff who were a wonderfull,
caring group. I also became friends with some of the patients (some with
dementia, and some who were perfectly alert).
...Now, four and a half months after Dear Helen's passing. It seems like
I'm afraid to go back there. My daughter still visits and the staff will
ask her about me. So, two days ago I decided I wasn't going to be a big
chicken any longer and I gathered up all my courage and went to visit.
...I brought with me a box of Abazabas and a box of Uno bars, My favorite
candy. All the staff wanted to give me a hug. They are a great bunch of
huggers. I went around saying hello to some of the dementia patients. One
of the ladys cried when she saw me. I also spent a couple hours visiting
with the alert clients.
...I came away from there a very happy person and feeling like I had done
something good in the world, and I reaize now that if I don't put myself
out there, life can be very dull and boring. I now intend to visit there
often.
...After years of searching for the all encompassing meaning of HAPPINESS,
This little experience confirms my belief that it's all about seeing
happiness in another being. Especially if I had something to do with
creating that happiness.
...One more little example. Dear Helen left me with her pomeranian twelve
year old Ozzy. Ozzy is my constant and only companion, day and night, he's
always at my side. He loves to go for a ride in our car. Now, there's no
lapp for him to sit on and he can't see out the window. So I recently used
my "do it myself" skills to construct a nice raised seat so he could see
out the window and bark at all the things that need to be barked at. Now
He's happy and I'm happy to see him happy.
...I'm also happy that I have a place to ramble on where someone else may
possibly read it and be happy.

.................With love and Happiness for everyone...GeorgieBoy

Geogieboy I am so happy that you have again found meaning to your life. You are a good man.

Good for you Ol' Boy -- there's still room in the boat, I'm 83 and never expected to be where I am. I was a big time volunteer from high school until my husband got AD and I quit everything to care for him 20 yrs ago, he's been gone 10 yrs. Big secret about voluntarism is how much personal pleasure it always gave me. I don't volunteer now, have other things going, but it was one of life's best experiences.

I was left with our big dog 'Sophie' a gentle connection between us, but a few years ago she had to go to puppy heaven and is with him. I know they are happy. I have a cat, now, first time I haven't had a dog. She doesn't go in the car, of course, but we've bonded. She's OK.

"Don't worry--be happy!" You did it, you're needed there and here, too. Hugs to Ozzy.

lovely!!

the secret to happiness is making others happy.

I will never forget that GeorgieBoy*.

Georgieboy, what a wonderful uplifting post. yes there is a life after and you have found your niche. you and little Ozzy. my ole boy is going on 17yr! this year and i know how he loves to sit and be able to look out too. you are such a caring gentle soul, and i am sure your beloved Helen is watching over you both.
take care and keep up that wonderful work.
divvi

Thanks, George, you have added to my day with your post. I was a volunteer for a crises "help line" for over 25 years but had to resign when I could no longer leave my dh alone. I don't know if this group is still around as it was about to go under for lack of volunteers and funding. Looking into that might be for me now that I have the * after my name. My best to you and keep on keeping on.

Lovely post George...so glad you and Ozzy are happy now. You made us happy here just reading your post.