Coco, so glad for your good news! Lloyd went through a phase of falling up to 6 times a day. The doctor wanted him in a wheelchair around 3 years ago. Impossible!!! How do you keep someone with AD who can still walk in a wheelchair??? The falling was just a phase he went through and he is still not in a wheelchair. I bought a transport chair and have never used it except for walks around the neighborhood when we were in Florida. And I did chase him one entire day at Busch Gardens with the damn thing. I adjusted his meds and he rarely falls anymore.
He is in! Yesterday was the first day, he was so tired from almost 6 weeks in the hospital, and then the 2 hour drive out here. I had the Caregiver couple drive him. He soaked through three pull ups, kind of sad as he usually lets us know, but he just could not verbalize. Then I spend a couple of hours there, they said he was very agitated and yelling to go home...when I left he had quite a fit and the husband of the team talked him down. He said right after I left, Dado was fine.
so I was feeling a bit yucky last night, until, I went back today. They said he slept through the night!! Miracle!! He was all clean and he looked so much better. We had a nice visit and yes he did get fussy when I left, but hopefully this will improve in time.
The food is awesome, he had Chicken Hekka with rice and cabbage, and fresh tangerines and papayas right off the tree. His little room is cute, you can hear the macadamia trees rustling and the roosters crowing.
Eventually I will be able to bring him home for a day visit now and then, I will wait awhile on that. I am STILL ##$$@@** coughing, and will go to the doctor tomorrow...5 weeks now yuk!!
SO all in all, it is time to decompress. For now on, if I am discussing his situation over there, I will post of the spouse in residence sticky.
thank you all sooooooooooooooooooooo much for your love and support.
Great news,Coco. So glad he is getting settled in his new home,and wonderful that he is so close to you! Take care of yourself now-you have a whole new way of life to get used to and you will need your strength.Dado will need you even more now to make sure that he gets the best care possible. Love to you both
Coco, so glad to hear from you. I kept looking all the time to how everything went. I'm so glad he's near you and you can see him often. If he gets upset when you leave, remember little fiblets like you have to go to the bathroom.
Also remember, Coco, that it's important to refer to HIS new residence as HOME. It might be a good idea to wait a month or more to bring him bavk to YOUR HOUSE. (Do you understand the importance of referring to the two places like that?)
I know he enjoyed the respite there before, ... and it sounds like he will again. It's ovvious that the husband of the owner is a wonderful caring person and has a talent for calming him when necessary. If it was me, I'd wait till he is calling his little room HOME. Keep bringing over familiar items to place around n the room so it will seem more and more like HOME.
So proud of you ... look at all you've accomplished. It takes years for some people to get so much done so efficiently.
So glad he is getting settled in. And remember to take care of yourself. I was watching one of those tv preachers last night. I was just so tired and something he said caught my ear. He said we spend to much time replaying all the wrongs/mistakes we have made in our minds. We need to spend all that time replaying all the good things we have and good we have done.
It made me feel better about things before I went to bed. So I want you to do that also. Today, as you start to look back over the past few years.....Think of all the good you have done for your sweet Dado. You have done may things right! You'r a fabulous wife. You have a kind heart, make sure to be kind to yourself.
Coco, Yep, you Rock!!, just like I said when I first read your comments. You have been through so much, and keep dealing with each experience as it faces you. Stepping up, and being there for your Dado is just what you do. Not knowing what you will face, but keep on, keep'n on. That's what you will remember from this long and arduous ordeal. You will know that what you did was all that you could, and also what you personally wanted. You took care of what was necessary, and should feel comforted by that. I am so glad for your current arrangement. What a trial we all are faced with! I am at such a loss, but want you to know that you were such an influence to me. I only wish the best for you, and just know that is what will happen. Now, allow yourself to take care of Coco. My best to you and your guy. Take care.
coco you are the third person i have heard of this flu season with pneumonia. its a very hard strain this year. if coughs persist over 2 wks or if fever is involved well we should get to to the dr. glad to hear you are treated and will make a fine but overdo recovery! divvi
divvi, and carolyn I saw your other post, thanks for the good wishes. It is weird, today, I slept solid through the night from one of the meds she gave me. Also, I feel NO wheezing in my chest, at least yet, I just got up. That shot of penicillin and steroids maybe kicked it"s "okole" When they gave me the shots, of course it was not a big deal, but I had a big emotional reaction and just sobbed, feeling like a little baby and all this past months overwhelmed me. They were so sweet and hugged me. Then I brushed the dust off, pulled up the panties, and moved on.
blue, thank you for reminding me that I have done the best I can do.
Carolyn* I pulled the "I have to go to the bathroom" fiblet when I left the other day, and will do that for now on. I do remember when he was in the hospital throwing a fit when I left, he yelled, don't tell me when you go!! (duhhhh, should have listened. Just me thinking I have to say goodbye....)
And Nancy B*, wonderful advice on calling where he stays "his home" and not refer to our home. Thank you.
janny*, you are the rockingest of all . Look at you, such a short time since you lost your beloved, and you are here to cheer us on. I truly love you.
I missed my visit with him yesterday because of my doctor visit, will go up in a couple of hours. I miss him so so much, and I know this is how it has to be. It is comforting to know he is only a slingshot throw away.
Coco--I've been using Carolyn's line "I have to go to the bathroom" line for 18 mos. now. Sometimes DH will say ok or even "you're entitled". One day he said "I have to go too" and that cracked me up. Keep on getting well!
Some rocks in the road already...but of course, I knew they would fall.
He has been in there 8 nights. It is a good place, they treat him well, good food, and he sleeps better. However as he is feeling better , he can walk a bit more and they get freaked out when they turn their backs for a moment, (going to bathroom etc.). and he gets up and walks, wobbly. The nurse is so afraid he will fall, I was talking to her on the phone just now. She knows she cannot restrain him and I said "FOR GOD'S SAKE JUST TIGHTEN A SMALL SHEET ACROSS HIS LAP AND WIND IT AROUND HIS WHEELCHAIR HARDWARE" This is what they did in the hospital, plus, they had a beeper attached to a clip attached to his shirt so when he go up it went off.
It was not the fact of this all, it was just that, as I told her, "Well you guys were aware he was a fall risk, and you knew how he was, and agreed to take him" I even got a bit short and told her, well if it is too much shall I come and pick him up? Of course she said no they would work it out.
The other big issue is, his fits when I leave. Most of the time I can sneak off, but he still gets really agitated. Today, when he saw his grandaughter from Maui, (she is 26), we had to say goodbye as I had to take her to the airport. HeJUMPED up out of his chair, just yelling, and balling his fists. We left and she said, after we left he was really yelling and angry and they stayed away from him for awhile.
Anyway perhaps it will come to me visiting less. or med adjustments. Or both. $!**((@@ so now I cannot even talk to him anymore.
Coco, When my DH was in the nursing home, I noticed a couple of people had a tray attached to their wheelchair so they wouldn't get up. As for leaving, do you use the bathroom excuse? That's what I always did and it always worked.
The bathroom excuse worked for me most of the time. It go so when I told him I had to use the bathroom, he would stay seated and say"Drive safely" and go back to watching TV. I guess I never fooled him but at least somewhere in his brain he knew that he wasn't going to see me for the rest of the day.
Oh LFL, that is so funny. My DH also tells me to “drive safe” & be careful when I tell him that I am going to the bathroom when I am getting ready to leave.
Elaine, I guess we're not really fooling them, are we? But if it makes them calmer and it easier for us to leave, why not? Glad to know you have had the same eperience. Makes me love him more.
Yes normally I do just sneak out, though I hate it. He does know, but it is still better than telling him and he has a fit. It was better today when I left, he was not so shaken. And...I will be trying to visit less now that he has settled in. (sigh)
It was just that the grandaughter was telling him goodbye. I will not take family to the Foster Home to visit again. They can phone, or I will have to sign him out for a visit.
As for the falling, I told them today, on the advice of our VA nurse...that I WILL NOT press charges or make trouble, if he does fall. I mean he fell everyday at home. Everyone is of course worried about liability. It is weird, he walks better now for whatever reason, and yet, it makes it harder for them...
I just got back from a 4 day trip to Maui, a promised journey to spend with a girlfriend and help her with some yardwork. I was worried about my lung infection as she lives in a wet area, however I am feeling MUCH better and have a follow up on Tuesday. I think it is truly, after 2 long months , on it's way out. I am 100% convinced it got so bad as it started during the time Dado was taken to the hospital. I usually am so healthy, and this one actually scared me. It is now "OFF MY CHEST" so to speak.
Today I saw Dado after that 4 day absence. When I visit him, I sign him out and we spend 3 to 4 hours sitting by the beach. (I dare not bring him home, and thank God, he does not ask.)
He is such a sad shell of a man, he still knows most people's names, but cannot carry on even a semblance of a conversation. Also, he is pretty much totally urinary incontinent and that is so sad. I was changing him by the car today and he laughed, and then he cried. And when I drop him off, and see that little wave goodbye, then, it is my turn to cry.
So now, the new life truly starts, the guests that were here are gone, and I am going to start molding in to whatever it is to become. I will visit Dado every second day, I just have to . Thank you all for caring.
Glad to hear from you and that you are back home safe and sound. I know it is still so difficult for you with Dado and wish I could say it will get easier, but none of us knows what the future holds. Hope you can get busy with the wonderful crafts and candy you do. You are and can continue to be such an inspiration to others especially the younger spouses so I hope you will continue to post. Remember, you must have a life too.
Coco, you are an inspiration to so many of us!!! I think your sense of humor is really a valuable quality to your self and the people who are exposed to your input here. My husband has been in the home for 4 months. And he is now getting absolutely and furiously unanimous about coming home with me. He is so bored with being there. He won't read or watch t.v. The nurse had to physically struggle with him on Sunday when I was there to keep him from going out the door with me..He told me "the only time you will have some peace is when I die!" I told him "not if I die first." Which I think would be a blessing sometimes. That is terrible to say, but with no joy to look forward to, it does cross my mind. I am sorry to be so negative to you lovely people!
Coco, I just love hearing from you. Isn't it wonderful (if you can call it that) when you can go and visit with Dado and not have the hard "at home" work to deal with. I had so much more patience after I place DH. Of course, I still felt guilty but I could love him so much more. We would sit out on the patio or by the river. Thank goodness for warm weather.