It's always something. I went on a two week trip at the beginning of December to see my relatives 900 miles away. While I was gone the Veterans Home called me twice. First to tell me that Tom has lost 10 pounds in the last month. He is eating, but they said that he is pacing more. I also told them that I thought part of it is the progression of the disease. They called me the second time to tell me that they were changing the orders on his Ativan from as needed to twice a day. He was getting agitated & combative. I told them that I understand that they have to do whatever they feel will keep him, the staff & the other residents safe. I haven't been able to see him for the past week because I caught the bug that is going around & I certainly didn't want to give it to anyone in his unit. Well today the nurse called me to ask permission for him to be sent to Johns Hopkins Bay View in Baltimore to be evaluated & have his meds adjusted. (I think that is where MarilyninMD's husband went). To be truthful this doesn't surprise me. Sadly with him they just don't know what will set him off. So now I have to find someone to ride with him in the transport vehicle while I follow behind. ( It's 75 miles away). I guess this wouldn’t be so bad if I still didn't feel so crappy from this cold, flu, bug.........whatever it is. Oh well.....Happy New Year!

Oh, I'm so sorry, ElaineH. It's almost impossible to ever go away and relax because you're waiting for the phone to ring and you are ALWAYS responsible. Yes, it does tend to take away the joy of a trip away. It's also hard to feel so helpless in these situations. What can you do? And, when you're feeling so poorly, well, I sympathize. Obviously, the evaluation is the best thing for him. I presume they are transporting him via ambulance? Don't they travel in teams?

Elaine--JH Bayview is where Jeff spent 5 weeks for med adjustment too. (yes, I said 5 weeks.) It's a trial, but they are well cared for and sometimes this just has to happen for them to be manageable in their care facilities.

In Jeff's case, his physical and cognitive capacities have declined enough since he returned to his ALF that they have not had any trouble just making adjustments in place, as needed, since then. I do know that Marilyn's husband required two stays there.

Thankyou LFL, One is called a Geriatric Care Manager. I couldn't remember what they were called. She needed someone in place should her DH have to go to the hospital while she was out of state. She didn't need their services, as it turned out, but she was able to enjoy herself, relax and not worry about having to fly back to Maryland if he had an event in the nursing home.

Thank you all for your comments & suggestions. I was able to have him transported there (75miles one way) through an ambulance service, but they sent a minivan equipped to accommodate a wheel chair. Well Tom didn't need to sit in a wheel chair, but he did need someone to accompany him, so my friend from church rode with him & I followed behind in my vehicle. Our younger son met us up there. When we got there we went up to the unit & for a while no one acknowledged that we were there. SO finally the van driver took our paperwork & got the attention of a nurse. I told her that I wasn't quite sure of what we were supposed to do & she said, “You mean you don't know why you are here?” (Not a good start). I told her that we were there to get him evaluated & his meds adjusted, I just didn't know what their admission procedure was. After that we were taken to his room. Since the nurses didn't know him they tried to talk to him & that made him agitated. He was very belligerent to the aid who took his blood pressure & the one who weighed him. They were getting a pretty good picture of why he is there. The 2 doctors I spoke with were awesome. The Nueropsychiatrist asked about Tom's history & listened while I spoke nonstop for about 10 minutes. When I finished talking he already had a plan formulated for his treatment. I asked him how he felt about family coming to visit & he asked me how I felt about it. I told him that I didn't think I would come for at least the first week because I didn't want to be a distraction while they are trying to work on finding the right combination of meds. He told me that there are some families who feel that they have to be there & I told him that I'm not one of those families. He then told me that he was fine with that. I could tell that he is truly a caring person. His admitting nurse initially wanted me to help get him into a gown so she could do a complete body check, but my son & my friend said that I shouldn't be a a part of that since I wouldn't be there to help with any other care, plus again it would give them a good idea of how agitated he gets. After we were finished with all the paperwork Tom was dozing so we left. Again we had trouble finding someone to tell that we were leaving. There was a nurse at the desk working on a computer, she could see that we were looking around, but she didn't ask if she could help us. Finally we just went & told her that Tom was resting in his room & that we were leaving. She actually was very nice. The one thing we saw that we didn't like was as we wee walking away from Tom's room the medicine cart was sitting there right in the hall a few doors away from his room. There weren't any medse out in the open, but who knows what was in the drawers. Even if they were locked, if Tom was upset enough he could just push that cart or even pick it up. But even though I have said some negative things, I KNOW that he will get good care there. Sorry this is so long!

Yes Elaine...it is sometimes difficult to get buzzed in and out of that unit. But they'll get it worked out.

Betty & Julia, I'm hoping that they don't over medicate him, but I was really impressed with the doctor who will be treating him. I will let them know that I am keeping tabs on his progress. I'll keep you posted.