Everything will turn out OK....I just know it will. You are so strong and don't even know it. These people are a pain in your side, but just stand firm and please only yourself and Dado...you know what is best and next time they call tell them you don't have time to talk or explain things to them and immediately give them the telephone numbers to the social workers, etc. They can't hurt you if you don't let them.
And, everything will be fine with the payments to the hospital....I just know it will. The VA told me I had 35 hours a week for Jim's care...but, I was only going to get 15 hours a week. Well...when he got worse I continued to get the help and they said I would have to pay out of my pocket. When he passed I told them I was not going to pay until the VA paid what he was entitled to...guess what??? No one ever sent me a bill.
When my DH went into a nursing home it was several months before the Medicaid was approved. No one "bugged " me for payments and it was retroactive to when he went in. I'm sure that will be the case with Dado. At least, I only had one family member to get on my nerves. Now that DH is gone, I have wiped her out of my life completely.