Well went to my financial advisor last week about finances and possible placement with Medicaid. I have borrowed on my life insurance policy in order to help prepay the funerals which he says I must do when I apply. the big thing now is I have to find a place that will take him. he qualifies for assisted living and not skilled nursing and most of the assisted living places that have Medicaid beds require so many months or years of out of pocket before they will accept Medicaid. I am asking what is the point of Medicaid if you have to pay for 3 or more years before they will accept it? I have several tapes going on in my head that go something like this: "but he is not that bad. you can do this and save your money" versus "it is time to place him so you can begin to have a life." I am 10 years younger and feel my life slipping away with this horrible disease. I have started respite which is helping and have had caregivers come in. I have tried discussing this with him and he does not understand what it is doing to me. He only thinks that he is "not that bad" I have tried daycare twice and he hates it saying he does not want to be there with "those people" I have been told at the support group that he still has a lot of intact awareness considering how low his MMSE score is, which is both good and bad. In many respects after reading many of the posts here I realize that he does not have many of the symptoms that are discussed--does not wander, mood swings. He seems to have a very flat affect and he is like a child that wants to please his mother (me). When he is at home he basically sleeps on the couch or watches TV He goes to the local senior center and eats lunch but that is about it. I know he is not getting enough stimulation but I am trying to hold down a job at home and cannot be entertaining him all the time. Just had to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening.