We are going on vacation for two weeks Sunday to celebrate Bob's 80th birthday. I borrowed money for the trip to Cancun but am at the point I don't care. I want to enjoy the time we have left. His daughter called and asked to "schedule" some time with her father. His old family conventiently planned a trip to Florida on his birthday saying they didn't think that 80 would be important to him. She and his son were to take him to dinner tonight. I wasn't invited but that was ok since it was only his children. I thought it might do them good to see how he functioned without me and to try and figure out his insulin amount and find some food that he would even eat. Then they added their spouses to the dinner and still didn't include me. Bob was upset asking why I couldn't go too. I explained they didn't invite me and he said he wasn't going. This started a fight and now he is not going. He has had very bad vertigo the last two weeks - we've been going to physical therapy every other day. Going today again. I have a party planned for him after Christmas and have invited several of his prior work people, neightbors and my kids and friends. He is so looking forward to it. I feel bad it didn't work out for him to see his son and one daughter but they turned down the offer to meet for breakfast before we left. I am sure they will be having a grand time trashing us at the Florida party. His youngest daughter will be there with her husband and three kids. She hasn't spoken to her father in 25 years. In talking to his son, he told me his family was just this way - they didn't engage much that was how they were raised. I told him just because you were raised a certain way doesn't dictate how you choose to act as an adult. I thought he finally got it, but guess now. Very disappointing - I know we will have a good time on our trip. I have wheelchairs scheduled as Bob gets too exhausted walking through the airport. At least at 80 you don't have to take your shoes off anymore.!
I had the same thing happen to me on one of the Father's Day that my DH was in the nursing home. His daughter took him, her husband and brother out for dinner. I wasn't invited. I was quite hurt. But she had hurt me many times over the years so I should have been used to it. At least now that DH is gone, I have written her out of my life. I'm still close with his son.
Good for you, enjoy your trip, but unfortunatly he will have to take off his shoes. They may also try to lift him from the chair to search underneath it.
Lakegirl, enjoy your trip to cancun! however y ou got there make it count for some fun and memories. i hope it goes well and uneventful during the travel times.
amazing how even family can be so unthoughtful. carolyn its hurts but its good you have written off the ones who did you harm. divvi
Lakegirl, Have a wonderful trip. I think you must be very brave to do this by yourself. The thought of traveling with my dh seems so overwhelming... We used to travel all the time.