My DH is really depressing me with all the talk about death.When do you think i will die? when will you die? Do you think we will die together? How much longer do you think we will live? Don't you wish we could both be just caught up in the air? WHERE DO YOU THINK WE WILL DIE? This is several times a day. He also is professing a great love for me constantly, and has never been particularly demonstative in that regard. I guess that is gratitude that I am here, but it is pretty constant also. Anyone else with these problems.
This sounds like another one of the obsessive compulsive behaviors that AD patients have. I am sorry that I have no advice to give on this one. Can anyone else help with this?
I do not know what stage your husband is in. If he is in an early stage and is capable of carrying out a plan I would be very careful and stay on the alert. He is using the word we and not I... and that worries me.
I would talk to your doctor about an antidepressant. Depression is a very real concern. As Bama mentioned, in early stage when your DH could be VERY scared you cannot be certain what might happen ...this needs to be addressed by a medical professional.
My husband asks this kind of question but his focus is on " do we have enough money for you to live on when I am gone"...and " are we saving money" He seems to worry more about how I will make out without him. I don't want to cause him more anguish by telling him that if he were to "go" my standard of living would decline...his pension would be cut and it would cause some penny pinching...I am pinching pennies now...to make sure we do have funds if he has to go into a NH or when I might have to shell out buckeroos for in home help.
KY caregiver, amen to what Bama said, please contact his dr immediatly. This kind of talk is usually a warning sign that he might be planning something for both of you. Please call for meds now.
most of us who hear this dont get overly concerned unless its a continuing discussion like you are mentioning. the worry is if they would be capable of planning or carrying out a plan to end life either his or yours or both. i think it a wise advice to contact his dr and explain the scenario and ask for something to help curb the obsession just in case. past cases have shown we must be vigilant in any circumstances that could put us at risk divvi
Ky Caregiver I see you joined in 2010, I'm not sure what I have to say on the subject will be relevant, my experience with the death & suicide issues all took place at the earliest stage, immediately after my DW received the DX she had AD in 2007. Her mother had AD We cared for her mother in our home until placement in a NH where she remained in a catatonic state for a year before passing..
All DW could focus on was "I don't want to be vegetable like my mother just kill me. I don't want to live like this I want to die. Please if you love me, tell me what pills to take" I'll admit there were fleeting moments when the thought releasing her from the terror she was feeling by facilitating her passing entered my mind.
I discussed her suicidal thoughts with our PCP who is super caring physician. He had me bring DW in @ 7:30AM the next day, before hours began. He spent about 45 mins assuring DW she had a lot of living to do and anyone of us could die of a myriad of other illnesses before she became anything like her mother. He just convinced her there was no need to rush the process, just enjoy every day (knowing full well as the disease progressed any memory of her mother would fade into oblivion.) No false promises. His conversation dramatically changed her focus. That, along with a low dose anti-depressant, which was discontinued after a few months ended the problem. She's now late stage 6 still smiling more often than not and as anticipated she has no recollection of much of anything past or current.
Accually my dh is in stage 5 -6. The dying talk has bee n worse the past few months. I do think he is depressed, who wouldn't be? He is alredy taking an antidepressant, it doesnt help much. I kinda think it is because he is so bored.He doesnt have much of a life. He really doesnt enjoy much of anything anymore. This talk usually goes on after we go to bed. I really am not thinking it is suicidal thoughts, i may be wrong. As far as the financial aspect, i think ill be fine after, unless he is in nursing home for a very long haul, or my financial lawyer told me wrong.
Ky, I would think at his stage it is possibly more him looking for you to comfort his fears. I agree, who wouldn't be depressed!! I am a firm believer in music therapy, perhaps you could listen to some of his favorite music before bed to lighten his mind of these worries? Maybe read a pleasant book? Something to help him fall asleep with pleasant thoughts swimming in his poor mind. To him you are a beacon in a world gone mad.