A friend told me to listen to this that it made them think of me.
"I'm so tired of being here Suppressed by all my childish fears And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave 'Cause your presence still lingers here And it won't leave me alone"
This is the pain of watching someone you love die and not be able to do anything about it. Being afraid of losing them, of the pain that comes from losing someone. Watching someone hang on when physically they are there but mentally they are gone.
"These wounds won't seem to heal This pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase"
Expression of human suffering when someone you love dies.
"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have All of me"
She was there for this person, through the pain, the suffereing the fear. She has been there always and even though this person will be gone soon, they still have her whole heart.
"You used to captivate me By your resonating light Now I'm bound by the life you left behind Your face it haunts My once pleasant dreams Your voice it chased away All the sanity in me"
Again, this is the mentality of someone watching the one they love die. All she can think about is the times that he was well. She is feeling resentment for still hanging onto these memories. She is feeling angry and sad because she can't let go of the past.
"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone But though you're still with me I've been alone all along"
She is trying to convince herself to let go because she knows that he cannot be with her in any way. And she has felt the burden all alone in this. She wants to let go before he dies but she can't.
This song is raw emotion about watching someone you love die and not be able to do anything about it. It's feeling sadness, resentment, anger and fear all at the same time.
That song rings so true. In my case, my dh's passing was a joy to me. Oh...please don't get me wrong, it hurt me to the core and it still does. But, knowing he was going down hill fast and had little time left, I did so many things for him to make him smile and bring a little joy to him. Silly things...like calling his wheel chair his truck, calling his walker his car. Putting him in his wheel chair and wheeling him as fast as I could...even doing a few "wheelies". He loved for me to shave him and I made a big deal out of it and talked to him the entire time telling him how much I loved shaving him and I was going to keep doing forever. Giving him back rubs and tucking him in his bed with pillows to give him comfort. I was as ready as anyone could be to let him go...and it was a joy to me to be with him and carrying for him until he took his last breath.
Would I have done all these things for him if I hadn't know he was going to be passing soon. I doubt it, but knowing he was going soon opened a door that gave me such joy to re-connect if you will after the long AD journey and take him to the end of the road we had traveled together. Excuse me while I go cry a little.
Thank you Coco for your comments. Want to ask you questions about Dado, but it would be OT on this thread. Hope you have comments on another thread or start a new one...we want to know how your little trip went.