My husband believes he was beat up on the last job he worked on over two years ago. I try not to get into a confrontation with him about whether this did or did not happen. He has now gotten to the point that he believes the people he said did this were put in jail. then he tells me they are out of jail and they are giving us a bunch of things and money. Here is the problem: I keep trying for these conversations not to happen. It has gotten to the point that he becomes violent if i won't tell him I believe every word said. I have put in to get help to get doctors back involved. They messed us up with the insurence because they took 4 months to exchange information so I could get him short term disability. I am now in a mess. He was told two years ago what was happening to him. I believe it was going on for around 2-3 years before I knew. He was working out of town. No one gave me a clue. Any suggestions on what I need to do ? I am about on my last strand of the rope. HELP
welcome elyagO. looks like you jumped in and are new? welcome! this is a well known phenomenum which we call confabulation. they BELIEVE everything they say. most of us who witness and go thru this phase have found it easier to just agree and go along with whatever they want to believe. its like 'pick your battles' yet once again. it wont hurt anything for you to agree except you know its not true. sometimes it bothers us alot to have to use these fiblets {white lies} so that we can manage the overall aggitation and anxiousness that this disease causes our spouses. it does no good trying to convince them and i found over time it usually subsides once they slip into a new phase of the disease. sorry you are dealing with this, its not easy to listen to confabulations and not try to correct. but its going to save you so much anxiety and stress on yourself if you try. you may want to ask his dr about something to help control the delusions and paranoia before you have more violent out bursts if you see a trend towards that. best of luck divvi
Divvi's advice is solid. The confabs you just go along with. It does sound as if he may be sliding into the paranoia/agitation zone, especially since you mentioned violence. This is where a change in medication regimen could be essential, and you should seek advice on this from whomever manages his prescriptions.
I went thru that with my DH . He really did do a lot of building on his own property but that's it. We went to visit a friend in a large condo. He said that he had helped build it. Wrong. It's best not to argue with them.
I have tried what you have suggested. Have been going along with what his says for mouth. He real believes he can just go buy what he whats with no one to contact about paying for it. The man he says told him to do what he wants as far as I know he never met him. I know he needs more mediaction but the doctors will do nothing with out insurence. If I won't take him to stores or boat dealers he goes after me. How long does this phase last.
elyag0, ok, you now have to take control-he is delusional and needs meds FAST. What is his diagnosis (dx)? How old is he? Can he qualify for Medicare or medicaid? Also do you have AAA (American Automible Association) membership? They have a card for members to help with prescription costs. I'll be back=gotta go.
Cancel all credit cards-just say you lost your wallet. Get and hide new ones in just your name. Talk to your bank and see what they will do to help you with a checking account. You might be able to close out your joint account and set up a new one. Keep in mind that you will still need to keep a hidden account with both of your names so you have a place to deposit checks that come in his name like SS, pensions---
Credit cards all gone Credit down the tubes a long time ago. I have control of SS they said he could not manage money. I have applied for Long term coummity care which is Medicaid with a higher limit. Can't get Medicare till 2 years on disabity. That will be next May. Anyone know if you can cut the time on Medicare? I know I need help quick. He is only 55 Diagnosi Early on set Alzheimers. I just wonder if something else is going on. They did EEg,brain scan, sleep studys, lab and then cognitive studies. All test ok except put him on CPAP mild case and memory studies lower 1% What is real hard is he has none of the the condition that patients have like diabetis, high blood presser etc. He was beat by police in the head about 30 years. I hear about all the foot ball players and how all the head injurys caused problems later. He is on zoloft now had him on Aricept it caused his heart rate to go way to low. Could not have him passing out. Just good to have a place to ask question and vent. All I can hope is that long term care comes through quickly. He woke me in the middle of the night and said he ws having chest pain. never talked about that before. took to hospital checked out chest heart nothing. I know it is anxiety attack. Just pray help comes soon. Afraid it is time to put him some were. Thanks for help just being able to vent helps
elyag0, there is no shortcut to qualifying for Medicare-you have to wait the 24 months. Can you/him qualify for SSI instead of SSD? Based on the info you provided about the testing, it would seem one of the tests would have shown that something more was going on if it was. Not all people with Alzheimers or dementia have other medical conditions like diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. My husband is perfectly healthy-no high blood pressure, low cholesterol, no diabetes, etc and he was dx'd with FTD at 58. He was very physically active, read the newspaper every day, did crossword puzzles-all the stuff they tell you to do to prevent dementia. It doesn't work.
For several years my dh had various test including 2 MRI's and nothing indicated he had anything major wrong. At the time we had a neuro doctor that really understood alzheimers and he said don't pay any attention to these tests....and said....your husband has alzheimers and within the next year the tests will change and you will feel better about this. He was so right. It is so difficult for all us and hope we that have been through this for a number of years and even into the final stage and death will be here for you.
But, remember "if you have seen one person with alzheimers you have seen one person" .....there are different things going on for all of us each person is different. Keep coming here and you will learn so much.
It might not be Alz, it might be FTD. Has he had a neuropsych test conducted by someone familia with dementias other than Alz?
You are right, doing all the things that they tell you will prevent dementia will not work. They probably help
The only way to speed up Medicare enrollment is to have Lou Gehrig's disease (ALS). The rules are very firm to ensure that people on SSDI temporarily do not get on Medicare.
But since your hb is already on SSDI I do not know if getting a more precise dx will help either of you. Even with a dx medications to help with symptoms is trial and error.
I believe paulc thinks he's on SSDI because if he's 55 the only way he would collect Social Security is if he is on SSDI. Also, you can only get medicare earlier than 65 if you are disabled for 24 months after starting to receive SSDI.
I got his ssd at the end of last year. It started in Jan 2012. Found out alz is a fast track disabity through the ALZ ass. Had fight there the nero dr. that ordered the test never got report until 4 month after it was done. The first report give by nero dr. to SSD was sudo demetia. Had been told in March of that year after test do that he had early on set. What really got me was he looked at me and told me that his wife was a lawyer and could help get his disablity. Just as an after thought I have been a nurse for over 30 years. Work with many Alz patents.. Much diff when it is your family and you have to live with it daily. It is just good to have a place to vent.
Just so all will know I got my husband medical help through long term commuity care a higher form of Medicare. He will not get Medicare until May of nexted year. Now I can get him back to a doctor to help with other medication. This is a still a good place to vent.