I invite you to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com- and read this weekend's blog. It is about an important issue - whether our spouses are capable of voting in this year's presidential election, and what criteria do we follow in making that decision.
As I said in the blog, and I emphasize here - This is NOT an invitation to break the rule of not discussing politics on the message boards. The purpose of the website and the blog is NOT to support or denigrate any one candidate. It is to discuss when an Alzheimer patient should no longer vote. Please read the blog - I welcome your comments and ideas, BUT if anyone talks specifics about one candidate or another, I will delete the comments. I have no intention of refereeing political arguments.
I have been thinking about this for the past few weeks. They changed our voting machines a few years ago, so the way we vote is different than what DH was use to. I worry he won't be able to vote for who he wants. Who knows what he would do. We both have the same views so we would vote the same. But what if he makes a mistake and we just end up canceling out each other. Could he even remember his address or sign his name. Sadly not often now. I think I will most likely not take him. I hate this, but what else can we do.
I did the same, Lori. Dh can sign his name, and he knows who he wants to vote for - most of the time. But I think this will be the last year I will let him vote.
Jeff voted in '10, with my assistance in using the electronic ballot thingy. I had minor misgivings, but he could definitely express preferences when I went over options with him. That was the end of his voting life. The staff was offering absentee ballot applications to residents in Jeff's ALF neighborhood a couple weeks ago. I don't know how many takers, but I guess anyone who is alert enough to grasp the concept deserves to vote.
Because of his multiple Learning Disabilities my husband had never voted until I asked him if he wanted to. He asked , "How?" He was very sensitive about his inabilitty to read. We got Absentee Ballots and I read; he named his choice; I told him the number and he punched it. Thatwas thefirstVClinton election. He never missedan election since, but sometimreabout mid-02009 hisinterest in the smaaller elections and in the lesser office4s began to fade. I began asking, " _____Ele ction is coming up, do you want to vote? The last election he voted in Was the last Presidential Election. He knew who he wanted, and he skipped a lotof the lesser positions. Hisinterestfade, and then I called and removed his name from the Absentee Rolls. The VaD made the decision, I just put it in place.
My wife wants to vote and I convinced her to get an absentee ballot this year. The crowds and waiting would be too much. Her desires for which candidate to vote for are consistent with the past. I am not sure if she will understand changes to the state constitution and local bonds, I will encourage her to skip those items if she doesn't understand.
If she didn't show interest, didn't remember candidates names or didn't know the year then I would say no. A major change in political attitude would be a warning sign.
I do wonder each year if this will be the last time she votes.
If your spouse is in a LTC home and doing an absentee ballot, don't allow someone else to assist them to vote, some helpers allow their own biases to interfere. You are the best judge of their desire, and if your aren't sure then perhaps skip the voting. Might mean allowing them to fill out the form but not mailing it.
I did vote via absentee ballot. I basically know how he would vote and just filled out the ballot myself. He did say he wanted to sign it. When I got to the end he signed it but his signature was unintelligible. I do believe this will be the last time he votes.
I thought long about this topic, but finally decided to get an Absentee ballot for my DH. He knows who he wants to vote for but wouldn't be able to tolerate the confusion of the voting station and booth. I did not try to discuss or persuade but just watched to ensure he didn't vote more than once in each category. As others have said, I believe this will be his last time voting.
In 2010 we went to our local voting place. When DH got into the booth he was not sure how to work the voting machine so I asked the attendant if I could go in an show him. They allowed me in because DH told them he wanted my help. He knew what candidate he wanted to vote for just not how to work the machine. After that election I applied for absentee ballots for both of us. I read the choices to DH as well as party affiliation (mostly votes the same way each time) and then fill in his choices. This year we skipped the state referendums because they wre too difficult for him to understand. He signs his name and we send in the ballots. Perhaps this will be his last time voting but I plan on letting him vote with my assistance since it is very important to him.
My husband has not voted in the more local elections since 2008. I think he's done with it. He's always been rather apathetic about it, but always voted in the national elections. He doesn't seem to care much about what is going on, doesn't watch the debates ( just clicks through stations - constantly!). I really don't think he could focus long enough to make a decision one way or the other. I don't think it will even bother him not to vote - most things just seem too much trouble for him.
We always get absentee ballots. DH still is interested in politics and has watched the debates.
He's fine with the presidential election, knows who he wants, etc. But when he sees commercials for candidates on the state level, he might say to me, "Do we like him/her?"
Amendments are hard for him, but I explain them as best I can.
You would be surprised at home many "normal" people just take the newspaper and follow its recommendations straight down the ballot!
I know where DH's political views lie and he has been consistent in those views.
Sid is absolute in who he wants in the presidential election. However, the local commercials confuse him. He HATES Candidate X, and says he will vote for Candidate Y. But then a deceptive commercial comes on about "Y", and he says - I guess I'll have to vote for "X", having forgotten how much he hates 'X" 's views.
Only because I know Sid's views so well will I let him vote for the local candidates, but this will be the last time, I am sure. I will also take your advice and get absentee ballots. Going to the polling place and being left on his own to vote, he will get confused. We always take our sample ballots into the polling booth with our candidates marked off, and our stands on the ballot questions marked off, but I really think it will be too confusing for him this year. I am not even going to mention the ballot issues to him. It takes a lawyer to figure out what "yes" and what "no" means on most of them anyway.
Sure enough, L is confused by the state constitutional amendments. She knows who to vote for but will try to read the amendments later. But I don't think she will understand the implications of these amendments so I will encourage her not to vote on them. She has voted in every election since turning 18 so voting is important to her.
I miss discussing politics with Sid. Although our views are pretty much the same, there have been times when we have differed, and it was quite interesting to hear each other out. We had major differences on issues and candidates twice in our 42 years together (that I can recall) - once in voting for governor, and once for an important issue. Turned out I was right both times - LOL!
I assume Sid voted in all the elections before I met him - can't ask him about it now - but we have voted in every presidential and non presidential election since we were married in 1970. I had to wait until 1972 to vote in my first presidential election, because at that time, the voting age was 21, and I was not yet 21 in 1968.
Since H has died...well, I know for whom he would have voted nationally as well as locally. I don't know what I can do about it now. I guess he could have voted absentee-early, but that was not exactly at the top of my short list when he died.
I stopped taking hb to vote when he couldn't understand the "routine." I didn't request absentee ballots because he didn't know what elections were all about. Even tho' I knew who he would have voted for if it had been "the old days" before VasD, I certainly wasn't going to cast a vote for people or issues he really couldn't understand. Wonder how many people really do vote for someone who's incapable of casting their own vote?
I struggle with this one. He knows who he wants to vote for, but other issues about school taxes and amendments, I am not sure he can read and understand them. I have told a friend who works at our polling place about his problem. I asked her if he has issues with the machines if she could help him. We vote electronically. She said she would watch him. He has problems with the IPad. He would not remember it was voting day. I will take him but this will probably be the last year.
The last time we voted - I guess it was in 2010, a non presidential year - Sid went into the polling place with me. He had the sample ballot with him with all of his choices marked off, and he was using his walker. He seemed a little confused as to where to go and what to do, but the polling monitors would not allow me to help him. Which is why we will do absentee ballots this year.
L voted today. She skipped most of the stuff she didn't understand. She did vote on the constitutional amendments and I am sure she understood the words but not the possible implications. She didn't hear of the people running for school board and skipped them. She wasn't familiar with the bonds, and confused them with the amendments, and skipped them. Later she insisted that they didn't have the Senate race in the ballot, but after reviewing the names remembered seeing them. Seemed to have confusion between the House and Senate.
Our absentee ballots are among those that have mistakes in Palm Beach County. Apparently if we vote using them, there is a chance our votes will not be counted.
I am going to see what decisions are being made by the county board of elections. Right now they are saying that the flawed ballots will have to be "copied" by hand by teams of people at the elections office. They will copy my ballot to one that is not flawed and can be read by the machine.
But what if they mess up???
I tried to explain this to DH - but it was complicated and he could not grasp it. So I told him we have to wait a little longer for some explanations of the amendments.
ms. magic--there are strict requirements and protocols to dealng with such things--especially after the " chad'debacle. If a ballot needs tobe copied, two workers--one representing each major pa rty work in tandem on each one to check ech other and prevent errors. In a case like this, as you said, the teams will do this at the election office, not at the presincts.
With the whole nation aware, believe me...any errors made in this election are not going to be in this arena.
We have watched all of the debates so far and this is probably the first time that DH has watched them ever. He never had the time before. So today I saw an Obama bumper sticker and asked him who he would vote for. He said he didnt know, he didnt know there was an election. So I guess that answers the question - I wont even remind him on election day. It just doesnt stick.
There are thousands of ballots that went out that were flawed. The county elections office estimates between 25,000 and 27,000 flawed ballots went out and may have to be duplicated by hand.
The amount of work it would take 2-person teams ... and the space requirements for all the representatives of the candidates who would want to witness this procedure ... is mind-boggling.
I called today and requested two more absentee ballots. I was told they will be mailed out within 48 hours.
I told DH we would put off voting until next week and he was agreeable.
No, I haven't kept up with the story, but because I worked the polls for years, before and after the "chad" mess, I know how much the handling process for ballots has been tightened. The worker's training is more extensive as well. Several things indicate to me that this problem is not insurmounbtable. It was caught early. Most likely a good number were not distributed, lessening the problem. The public has been informed and has the option to request replacement ballots, as you are doing. That will help. Absentee ballots usually come in early and can be processed (readied for actually being voted), early. Teams to copy affected ballots will represent both parties, as will observers at the polls. Observers can be/are limited in number while maintaining representation. Observers are not permittd to touch any of the voting paraphenalia.
Another option available is to extend the counting deadline for the affected ballots, just as some locations are having to do for ballots mailed late to servicepersons overseas. All legitimate ballots do get counted.
It's going to be interesting to see how this works out.
25,000-27,000 were distributed. Only 10,000 were "captured" before mailing.
The person at the elections board told me to hold on to my flawed ballots "just in case." I will be surprised if any of this goes smoothly.
I am not a numbers person, so I am not going to do the math, but I have to think it will take several minutes per ballot to copy to a duplicate ballot. The ballot is three pages - both sides. In addition to the candidates, there are 13 amendments.
Underscoring the deep concern surrounding Palm Beach County’s latest election snafu, Florida Secretary of State Ken Detzner is sending two observers here on Monday as workers begin an unprecedented process of duplicating an estimated 27,000 absentee ballots. In a letter to Elections Supervisor Susan Bucher late Friday, Detzner said he is sending two deputies to “observe and examine the registration and election processes and the condition, custody and operation of voting systems and equipment.” The deputies, he wrote, are empowered to “supervise the preparation of the voting equipment and procedures for the election.” Both will report their findings to him and file a written report with Palm Beach County Clerk of Courts Sharon Bock.
Oh, Carosi2, mine cannot read either. I think it makes it so much harder for him besides the fact he grew up never being read to (his mom can't read either). He missed out on children's stories and Bible stories. How sad! My mom was a first grade teacher and she wanted to teach him to read, but he was so ashamed. He did go to the library and had a tutor there, but he was already down with this.
Just wanted to check to see who has taken their spouse to vote. My DH went with me today. It will be his last time. We fill out a form with our name and address. My DH needed help, did not know our address. We use electronic voting. They let me stand by him and help him. I did not suggest or tell him what to vote. He pushed the choices on his own. I did explain the amendments in short version and he marked yes or no on his own. I made sure I turned towards the people at the place so they could hear anything I said. Luckily there was no one else there at the time, so I did not disturb them. It was very sad. He takes great pride in voting.
DW didnt vote much before we were married, but we voted together every time since. HOWEVER it was always using an absentee/mail in ballot due to our irregular night shift hours. We put ourselves on automatic mail in ballot so her's came to the house as normal.
Yes, I "helped" her color in the bubbles on the ballot by identifying the proper numbers for her to blacken . . . . she had no real idea what she was doing, BUT she DID understand that she 'voted'. Minutes after the process it was totally forgotten.
In a world where you dont have to show an ID to vote and dead people helped to elect JFK in 1960, I suspect AD people 'voting' is more common than people talk about. Maybe more common in parent AD situations than spouse situations.
I took my husband to vote today and he was able to manage it on his own, after I printed out another copy for him of the information I had collected for my daughter about the local candidates. Mostly he knows what he wants but has trouble remembering the names (and some of them were listed on the ballot as petition, not by party). I think he didn't fully get the issues of the constitutional amendment we had to vote on, but he felt he knew what his opinion was so I didn't argue. Luckily there wasn't a line, because he would have had trouble standing for long. There was a picture shared on Facebook from a polling place elsewhere in South Carolina where they brought the detachable part of the electronic voting machine out to the car for a 98 year old voter.
I took my DH to vote today. I didn't know whether I should but with all the TV noise about it, he kept saying he would go. Thankfully there was no line and it was a very simple ballot with no questions or amendments. He could just blacken in one oval to vote straight party and that was it. Even then I helped him but no one said anything. That was the last time he will be voting.
Now dealing with the aftermath. L is very excited how things turned out, so she got up early and is using up lots of energy so I expect a major sundowning later today and I'll pay for that. Plus the danger of her overdoing stuff because she feels so good. If things didn't go her way I am sure she would have been depressed and low energy and make life hard. Either way, you can't win.
So for those of you whose spouses still understand who won and who didn't, this week may be hard no matter which candidate your spouse supported.
I went to vote early in the day. Told DH I was getting the oil changed in the car. I was doing that after I voted. DD was home from school so she could keep an eye on him. When I got home it was a normal day for us. No talk of trying to vote. I stayed up late watching the returns and did not know DH was still up watching too. I found out when I was going to bed that he was pulling for the other guy. We had always voted the same.
But he never even asked to go vote. So sad, he was the one who got me wanting to vote. The next day I picked up a USA today to read some of the stories from the night before and all he did was was look at the front page.
Sure glad it is over - depressing results for me, but glad it is over. Now to get rid of those Humana commercials that have replaced the political ads!
Nobody cares about Idaho. We get no junkmail, no political ads except the ones that spill over from Wash. , I don't think any national candidate has ever come here.... OK I know that is an exageration Teddy Roosevelt actually stayed overnight just up the road from here.
The amount of ads was worse in the battleground states. Northern Virginia awful, battleground states plus 2 contentious issues in MD and a lose senate race. Almost every ad was politics.
Until the last week before the election Maine had only ads aimed at local candidates and those for Congress. In the last week we got lots of ads for the President, mainly in the 2nd district since Maine is one of only 2 states that splits its electoral votes according to who won each congressional district. The Republicans felt the 2nd district was close and might go for Romney. It turned out not to be a problem since both districts went for Obama.
DH did very well with his absentee ballot. He watched coverage of election night and we both were thrilled with the outcome. He actually stayed awake into the wee hours to watch!
While our spouses may have problems understanding some of the amendments on the ballots, the general public barely comprehends them from what I can see!