My DH and I have had several discussions about selling our home. We currently live in a 2 story 100 year old home. It is cosmetically up to date but there are things that need significant work which hubby can't do anymore. We live in a very small town so finding workmen to help is pretty hard to do. Our children live an hour away and have their own families, so calling them to come help do something at a moments notice isn't feasible. I think we should sell our home and move into something more manageable....not a patio home or anything, but maybe a house that doesn't need constant maintenance. We really love our home but it is getting too much. Did any of you consider this or do this? We're having a difficult time decidint.....specially since he doesn't always remember out previous conversations about selling :)! Thanks
Sheila: When my husband was first diagnosed, my son suggested I sell our two story house while my husband could still adjust to another neighborhood, and a new home surroundings. ALso I have Parkinsons which we knew might become more debilitating as I got older. My husband could no longer do any of the tasks around the house and I couldn't so we sold our home and bought a ranch style one story house. I am glad we did that as I would never have been able to do the upkeep on our other home. We bought a new home so that it wouldn't need maintenance for a good while. I think you might want to seriously think of changing homes while your husband can still cooperate with the sale. By the way, we put the house in my name so there would not be any legal problems in the future.
Carewife, what a great idea about putting the house in your name only. There are SO many things I need to learn. We are looking (kind of) for a ranch style home...living in a small town where nobody every moves is tough...the good houses never come up for sale. Moving to another town isn't in the cards tho. Our support system here is tremendous. Even if the kids DO live an hour away. Thanks for your info.
I have the farm, with a house over 125 yrs old and needing more help than I can ever give it, on the market. My DH and I moved into a single level 3/2.5 on much smaller acreage and which I can take care of myself. I consider that I was fortunate to find it. Both properties are in my name only, which makes it easier when it comes to selling, but 1/2 the property still belongs to him, whether I like it or not. And I'm the one who paid for them! That's the law. I talked with our family physician about moving him, and the doctor said, it isn't going to matter. Sure enough he was right, my DH is just as confused in the old house as he is in the new house. For my 2 cents worth -- put yourself in a comfortable, doable situation, that is best for you. In an all too short time it will not matter. Take care!
We sold our house last year to move to a condo. I just couldn't keep up with the yard, landscaping & etc. alone. My husband adjusted pretty well, he was confused at first about where different rooms were located. I think I did the right thing & would do it again.
I made a big decision 3 years ago to build a new home on property we already owned just a stone throw away. Our old place had a ranch home 3 apts, and some commercial bldgs. We were overwhelmed with all of it. His neuro strongly recommended NOT moving him but our reg. MD said to go ahead. This would not be for the faint-hearted but we both love our new house which is close to the garden and a dream home for me to enjoy. He cares little about where he lives but it has been great for us. The downside is, we still have the old place for sale and still have utilities and yard work to hire done. If you didn't have a specific lot to build on I would reccomend buying already built. The building process is a nightmare in itself.
Before you sell your home, know what financial implications it will have. Talk to an elderlaw lawyer if at all possible. It's not that you'll lose your home, you won't, but if you want a child to get the home, or for its proceeds to be divided among children, there are financial considerations to be had. Remember that nursing homes are running ca. $70,000/year, that your assets not counting your home will be split between you to pay for his care if he ends up in one (presumably in Stage 7) and that when YOU die, the house can be subject to claiming by medicaid (or some of its proceeds).
I'm not saying don't do it, I'm just saying that you should talk to the right kind of lawyer (NOT an estate planner) first. If you have long-term care, it only lasts for maybe 3 years - check what it is, and how much it pays for.