I have been reading your posts for some time. You are all wonderful and have given me some valuable information. My 58 year old husband suffers from FTD. He was officially diagnosed in Dec. 2006 but symptoms appeared much earlier. He was hospitalized in 2003 for "severe depression". I know now that it was this disease. This past year he atteneded adult day care until he had a violent outburst in May. He spent about 3 weeks having a med evaluation. I am a teacher and took family medical leave for the last 3 weeks of the school year. I can't wait to go back to work. I feel so trapped. He will not go back to day care because I don't think that is the best thing for him right now. I will have home care when school starts. Oh yea he is now incontinent and just spent a week in the hospital w/his first UTI. This is my story and I'm sticking to it !!!
I am glad you decided to post instead of just read the posts. I did this too for months and months and just recently joined as well. These folks are just wonderful and someone or everyone, will know pretty much what you are going through. I am so sorry your lives have been effected by FTD, so hard. Keep posting, you will find renewed strength here. Keep posting, Nikki
Greetings, Mya--You and your husband are so young to be dealing with something this devastating. I'm really. But, you know, you have come to the right place. I only joined this about a week or ten days ago. I've received more support, more information, and have been so uplifted. Just knowing you aren't alone will do a whole lot for you.
Blessings to you and your DH. September will be here before you know it and you can go back to teaching. Perhaps a home-health care person will be just what he needs.
Hi Mya and welcome. I am a school speech therapist and going back to work in two weeks. I am looking forward to it too. I get what you mean by trapped. There are some great people here.
Welcome Mya. I am sorry to hear of your story, we all have one. This is a great site for information. Post any time. It feels good to post. You get it off your chest.
Welcome Mya, I am also sorry for the reason you found us. But you will find our real soon that you came to a place full of love and comradery and lots and lots of info and advise. I understand about you wanting to go back to work, it is like a reprieve for a while. Come here often and you will find out how great a group this is.
Welcome to my website. We all understand the unique issues of spouses. You will find much support and information here. We're all in the same miserable, leaky boat, and are helping each other paddle. Please visit the home page of this website - www.thealzheimerspouse.com, and look through the resources. There are many topics on the left side, as well as my daily blogs that most spouses relate to. Also, look through the Previous Blog section for many, many topics that you can relate to.
Welcome, Mya. I, too, read for a long time before I joined but like Val said "It feels good to post." These are the only people who really understand the situation we're in.
Hi Mya, Welcome, this board has been a godsend to me. Everyone is so willing to help with all concerns. They listen & do not judge when there is no one else. My husband is 57 years old. Kadee
Welcome Mya. I don't post often (I mostly lurk) but it just helps me so much to know I m not alone. My hubby is still being tested and we should have some sort of results/diagnosis on Friday. He is being tested for FTD. I haven't seen the outbursts from him tho. Most of his symptoms are confusion, shuffling gait while holding his arm, very short term memory problems (like forgetting to tee of while golfing), seems like a combo of several dementias. But definitely not the outbursts and inappropriate behavior I have read is realated to FTD. He is also 57....I have noticed his problems for several years but just within the past year has he gotten to the point where others are noticing how confused he can get when they talk to him. Sheila
Welcome Mya, hope you feel the same as everyone else here, a lot of friends who know how you feel and can offer lots of handson advice. glad you joined. divvi
Mya--I am also new to this site and for what it is worth, I will put in my 2 cents. I have done a lot of 'lurking', 'Trolling', before I finally decided to do a posting. WOW! I was welcomed by a whole host of people that were coping with the same hell that I have been coping with for the last 3 years. With a little pushing and prodding from these friends, I was able to do a little more posting and suddenly my world turned around somewhat. I no longer felt so much alone and there was conversation in my house again. (So to speak). I found that my quiet times were no longer spent with the 'why us, why me'. When I come to this site now, I not only learn more about what is happening, but also how better to cope with certain situations. I will make my point and then move along. I found that 'talking' is probably about 60% of the help that you will get from this forum. In my case anyway. I don't mean to speak for other people.
OH I forgot to say "Welcome to the Site"
One other thing--When I say something stupid they don't come back and chew me out for it..
Duane-you really said it. Once we can get beyond the "why and what if" stage we can begin to learn to cope. That still doesn't mean we have to like it, though. bluedaze
Bluedaze--I agree with you. --I hate it but it is there and we certainly can't change it. The only thing that we can do is cope with it. I hope that the ones that read my comments don't think that I am demeaning the whole situation. I see my DW losing parts of her brain and I can't do anything about it. What a helpless situation. I have never been a controlling husband but I always wanted to be in control of certain aspects of our lives. I think you know what I am trying to say here. I have no control whatsoever. I can't help her. Talk about helplessness. I know that everyone feels just about the same way. So sorry. Duane
Duane, Yes I think we can all understand exactly what you are saying. Losing ALL control, seems to render one helpless. Coping is key.. How I wish I had this site the last few years. It is a great comfort to share with people who genuinely know what you are going through. Again, Welcome Mya... keep posting it truly does help ~Nikki
I had to quit my last post rather suddenly as something was wrong with my computer. The screen got so blurry I couldn't hardly read it through the haze. It seems to be ok now though Duane
I quite agree here with the idea that AD is quite out of our realms of control. and I might add that this comes especially hard to someone who definately is a control freak: :) i admit i fall into this group so it makes it super hard to have to submit to anything -much less this disease- i have met my match no doubt-not sure i am coping as much as just accepting what i cant change. divvi
Duane, do you have a cat? Val has a cat, sits in her lap when she's on the computer. Cat has managed to turn the screen sideways, so it shouldn't be too difficult to make it go blurry.
My cat just sits on the floor and scratches my leg when she wants attention.
Mya, welcome to our little family. (Are you a cat person, or a dog person?)
Mya, Glad you found us. We've been real chatty here lately, but sharing a lot of information and experience. Please, join in! As Duane as found, it helps a lot. PatB
Sunshyne-- Yep, we have 4 cats. They are all pure breds. North American Short Hair. Had a neighbor once that called em alley cats. Just goes to show you how much he knew. (grin) Since DW and I got married there was only one time that we were without a cat in the house. Usually more than two. Anyway, I got orders to Hawaii and they have a quarantine for all animals brought onto the Islands and we couldn't afford that so we got rid of our cats. When we got to Hawaii after we got settled I was placed on the swing shift. I was thinking about how great this was going to be. No more scratched up furniture, no little surprises on the carpets, no more vet bills, NO CLEANING OUT THE CAT BOX. I went on my first swing shift and when I got home that night I found that the kids had just happened to find a kitten that needed a home. There went my happiness. I have since learned to love cats. Our last dog that we had was a Shitzu (spelling). Well thats the way I want to spell it anyway. We couldn't break him of chasing the cats. He was always jumping off of the couch or wherever he was at and chase the cats. It got to where the cats wouldn't come downstairs. We got a trainer to come to the house and he told us to get the dog cage out and every time Andy chased the cats to put him in the dog cage for a few minutes. When I decided that wasn't working was when Andy chased a cat, went right to the cage, crawled in and sat for 5 minutes. We got rid of the dog! Duane
(Just for the record, I will love my husband to the day I die because he has always (still does) cleaned out the litter box. Voluntarily, with nary a whimper.)
Well Duane your spelling was close on the Shih Tzu, just off by one h, but I think I can figure out why. Nothing like those NA Short Hair purebreds though. I have one who is an orange tabby, he will probably need therapy though because when we adopted him I called him a domestic short hair. Who knew?
I remember reading an article about some actress who became a mom later in life. She said all she seem to be doing is putting it in one and and cleaning it up at the other end. Sounds like our cats. PatB
Now that we're getting so graphic-sometimes I think I spend more on litter than cat food. By the way-have you tried the sifting litter liners? I (or the cats did). We all think they're great. I bought a self sifting pan and threw it in the trash next day. Very bulky and messy.
ASY -- Those cats go crazy when you get them to thinking they are something they are not. A few months ago when DW was still speaking pretty good in sentences, she come into the living room looking a little upset. I ask what was wrong and she said the the "Those damn cats were really making her mad." I couldn't see what she was so upset about so I ask why. "I'm trying to hold a fire drill and those damn cats won't pay any attention." Now was this a case of a mixed up person or someone pulling my leg? Interesting. I just about fell off the couch though. Duane
Mya, Sorry those cat people and that comedian Duane have hijacked your thread. As you can have probably seen from the other posts, we sometimes have trouble staying on topic, and find various forms of relief from dealing with dementia.
Mya, sorry sometimes you just have to laugh and the people here can help with problems and can help you laugh. To get through this you need both and you found them.
Dog person here. I have an almost 12 year old mix...boxer..maybe pit bull..who knows? He acts like he's 5 years old. My daughter has an 18 mos. old shepherd mix who spent the weekend here. She pees when she gets excited... sigh. My son has two 4 mos. old Rotties. Dang when we get together it smells like a kennel. LOL
LOL Mya, I am a dog person as well.. but will admit to owning a cat, or wait he owns me! I love the little bugger. I am glad to see you posting and look forward to getting to know you better. Keep posting, this site has truly been a Godsend to me ~ Nikki
MYA--Wish I had a dog like your shepherd mix. I have some relatives I would like to invite over. Make them feel right at home. I think that those are the ones that really show their love.
Nikki--I heard someplace that when you have a dog, you own it. When you have a cat you are part of the staff.