I haven't posted messages in months. Hope you all are still hanging in there. Just wanted to let everyone know I doing well. My husband is in a facility. I still feel guilty because I don't think he belongs there. He is quite normal except for his memory. He still remembers alot of things, and of course he has his days but I feel like he is being locked up and still has so much more living to do. He deserves to live his life just like everyone else. I'm thinking of taking him out and living with us back home again. I think he is just wasting his life there, if that's what you want to call it. Facilities are horrible, especially here. I feel like he is being punished for not remembering. He is still very functional in every way. Here I go again with my guilt but it's what I feel in my heart. Well these are my thoughts for today. Thanks for listening.
Good to hear from you, Lee012. Please don't let guilt take you over the edge! You did the very best you could - that's all that can be expected of us. More hugs to you.
Has anything changed from why you moved him into the facility in the first place? What was the reasons you did and have they changed? If not, then definitely bringing him home would probably be wrong. If they have changed for the better, like aggression gone, then something to think about.
hi Lee012. sometimes we do bring them home but before you make that decision weigh all the pros/cons. the guilt is part of it, but should not influence whats best for him. good to hear from you. there are a few recent threads about this very topic divvi
lee012--I don't know where you are located, but my husband lives in an Arden Courts facility (owned by Manor Care)--part of a national chain. If I had to rate my satisfaction on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give them an 8 or 9. If you feel that the facility where your husband lives is horrible, can you locate a better one and move him? At Arden Courts, there are tons of activities going on, entertainment is brought in, and everyone is taken out for a ride and ice cream periodically. The earlier stage residents also go on additional field trips to restaurants for lunch and to other attractions. Actually, there is much more stimulation provided there than you could possibly do at home.
I wish I had something positive to say about the facility he is in, but I don't. They have no activities at all. The people are just there sitting doing nothing. The staff does not interact with the elderly, the food is horrible and they get no snacks. The people are not taken out anywhere. This is why I don't like my husband being there. We live an hour from Albuquerque, NM. The state has nothing to offer the elderly especially with alzheimers. I have called everyone and either they don't know or just make referrals to other agencies and it's always a dead end. I get so frustrated. The alzheimers organization here is not very active, offers no help, assistance or recommendations. I have left messages and my calls are never returned. Now you know why I feel so guilty because he is just locked up in his room with no where to go or interact. He does not have the means to go else where just living on his social security.