My husband is late stage moderate and lately what I notice when he has is the smallest pain he starts complaining. Today it was a splinter and he insisted I take him to the ER. I am sick to death of all this petty stuff. I wonder if it is a cry for attention. he sits in his chair and tells me how much it hurts, moans and groans. I know this is not a huge issue compared to what some people have to deal with but I notice he just will not let it go--he keeps on and keeps on until I do something. I really think it is attention-seeking behavior.
Others will come along and give great advice. I think some of it is attention seeking (like a child) but much of it is because they no longer have the coping skills and are afraid. Something happens (no matter how big/small) and they are afraid and can no longer know how to cope with the problem. So they revert back to childhood-cry, complain, whine, etc. and look to the "adult" to help fix the problem. My husband complained of groin pain every week and insisted I take him to his pcp. I did that for 6 weeks and they never found anything wrong with him, although they checked him thoughly each time. My pain was the unnecessay medical bills .
And sometimes they don't know where the pain is,or how to express where it is. Last night DH said his arm hurt. I massaged it a little, he went back to bed; few minutes later he was sitting up again - said his leg hurt. I said, "I thought it was your arm". "No", he said - it's my leg! Just never know. A little bit more of that last night and I'd get out my tic-tacs - which is a cure-all.
If it works try Vickie's way - offer him a tic tac for pain and see if that helps. Yes, it does seem to be a phase they go through although some like Sid is still in it although he does have legit painful issues.
Yes. Yes. Yes. It drives me crazy. The man never complained about anything all our lives together. He was healthy as a horse and had a high pain tolerance. I have written (can't find it now) about the fine line between what is actual pain (of which he does have a lot), and what is a cry for attention. He whines, cries, yells, moans, groans, carries on like a 2 year old ONLY in front of me. When he's at the doctor's, with friends, with relatives, with ANYONE except me, he says he's fine. Oh, I'm making the best of it, he tells everyone. GRRRRRR.
I notice much less tolerance for pain in my wife. Also problems of referential pain. The pain she feels might be from confusion or sundowning. Or having problems identifying the pain.
We have just the opposite here. He never says anything about any pain. He took a bad fall the other day and is bruised up, and must have sore muscles. When I ask if he hurts, every time it is NO. He had jagged torn out teeth in the back of his mouth and I did not know until we took him to the dentist.
He never was a complainer about pain, so I guess it continues. I would like to know when he hurts though.
Coco...my Jim was the same. He rarely complained. Towards the end he would rub his head alot. I do believe he was having TIAs and that is why he rubbed his head.
Hi JudithKB*, so good to see you here. I think of you everyday, as you know, I had compared our mates alot. Dado does not have a heart condition though. I have told the doctors I often wonder if he is having small strokes, (is that a TIA?)
They poo poo it as he has no high cholesterol or blood pressure. But I hear him moaning in his sleep, and then the next day I will notice that his legs are more shaky than usual and he seems even more out of it.
It is all so confusing. I am so up and down on what to do with just about everything. Putting off any major decisions until a friend arrives early next month. There is a chance she may want to spend some months during the winter..offer a hand..if so...I can hold on. working again and I am so exhausted.
DW spent weekend literally going from one bathroom to the other, Went to dinner with friends hasd to escort her to bathroom four times. Assume she"s got a UTI. Take her to PCP this AM, four, that's right 4 bottles of water later, she still can't leave a sample. MD says let's just assume she's got a UTI and put her on an antibiotic for 5 days, if her symptoms are alleviated refill and keep her on the med for a total of two weeks. If no improvemen within a few days we'll get her to a URO, just call we'll get her right in. not ideal, but expedient way to deal with it.