My DH with Parkenism/dementia/Altz has always liked guns. Not to shoot them, just have them. My daughter wanted them out of the house and I did too but, like the driving thing, I dreaded doing it. He hasn't driven for a year.
2 Months ago, my daughter removed the guns and about a month later he was asking about them. I told him we had them locked in a friend's gun safe. He was pretty upset for a few days and finally he "needed one" varmit gun to have. We decided to let him have the one back that he wanted and my son-in-law would get shells for it made in blanks. He said you couldn't tell the difference. We haven't had a chance to get that done yet, but he has not said anything more about the gun. I think we will go ahead with the plan but not give it to him as long as he doesn't say anything.
First, let me welcome you to my website. You will find much support and information here. If you have not already, please go to the homepage - www.thealzheimerspouse.com, and look at all the topics on the left side, as well as the previous blogs. You will find much you can relate to and a lot of good information.
At the top of this page, click "search", and write in Guns/violence and AD, and hit search. There are a lot of comments in there about guns in the house.
Everyone here will give you the same advice - NO GUNS in the house anywhere when AD is involved. Even blanks can be dangerous. He hasn't mentioned it, so don't you mention it. If he brings it up again, tell him they're lost. We'll look for them later. Then he'll forget until the next time.
Hi and welcome meadowlm , though I am sorry for your need to be here.
I agree with what Joan said.... it is vital that with AD patients, there not be any guns in the house, or where they can have access to them. Not only for their protection, but yours , your families and the community. Blanks can and do still cause harm. If he brings it up again, keep trying to divert and distract him onto something else. Best of luck, Nikki
Don't bring any gun back into the house....What if he pointed the gun at a police officer? They are not going to take the time to find out if the gun is loaded with blanks or the real thing. It is just one more thing we have to control....like it or not.
Guess we are odd man out here, as I do have a pistol for protection in a special lockbox with a key - which are kept separately and away from DH always-. we've had an intruder once very scary, and i would not want to be unprotected being female - of course we are in Texas, everyone has a weapon in this state. i did get all rifles etc out of house to son long ago. divvi
I learned something interesting when it came to my husband's guns. He had hidden them in the house. Forgot about them and where they were. I thought he still knew about them and knew where they were so I was hesitant about removing them and all the trouble it would cause. We painted the bedroom and one of the guns came to light - he said "oh, that is where it is." I gave him time to forget again and got them out of the house. He never kept them loaded so the ammo disappeared first and then the guns - I was lucky - he never noticed they were gone.
After that, I heard and read some horror stories and was really glad that I had made that decision - why take a chance? We never really know what our loved one will do or what will pop into their heads.
Divvi, I should clarify... I removed all of Lynn's rifles... I kept my own hand gun. I had never owned a gun, though my dad had taught me how to handle and shoot one since I was a child. For reasons I won’t bore you with, I felt the need to have one - to protect my family.. Something Lynn was no longer able to do.
So I did take a few fire arms courses and purchased a gun. But Lynn has no idea I have one, nor where I keep it. For safety, it is of course in a locked case. Sometimes, one does need a weapon… but I still believe all firearms the AD patient is familiar with, need to be removed. IMHO
lmohr - no guns is my choice. Two years ago my DH's friend from the age of 10 shot himself and was successful. My DH has also talked about killing himself - thankfully all the guns are gone. Really, can you imagine someone with PD actually being able to shoot straight with those shaking hands? I had a friend who shot himself and lived brain damaged for years. It just isn't worth it to take that chance.
Yes Frand, I do agree with you. I have thought and thought on this.... this is very personal to me ~ as this was the weapon of choice my dad used to end his life.
Even with this recent tragedy, the need for me to have a gun for protection is necessary. I just take extreme precautions. Lynn has no idea what a light bulb is now, so the threat isn’t there like it once was, back in the day when he too talked about ending his hell.
Nikki - how sad to lose your Dad this way. I never have been able to manage a gun - frankly, I've thought I'd be better at trying to kick an intruder in the balls than to shoot him!
Well, I hate to play devil's advocate, but what good is a gun that is locked up in a box if someone breaks into your home? In order for a gun to be real protection it would have to be loaded and within arm's reach...but, this is coming from someone who's brother took his own life with a gun, so I am biased....
i have a deadbolt on our bedroom door and time to get to it if necessary and it is loaded within the locked box. DH cant even find the bathroom much less a storage chest now - there was a time he was focused on his rifles etc but we didnt have any bullets for them and then i gave all of them to his son-i do have several alarm systems but due to DH opening doors and up at nite, it can be tricky. having false alarms go off-i feel good with deadbolts on almost every door as well in the home:) i guess its each persons own decisions how to handle it. divvi
My husband was a hunter and sportsman all his life - had lots of guns and a "sacred 2nd amendment" type. When the social worker at the Alzheimer's Foundation found out he still had them she gave the family a day to get them away from him or she would send Adult Protective Service and the sherrif. I could just see that - shootout at the OK corral! My son and step-son took on the horrible task. They managed to persuade my husband that the guns were "safer" locked a box at my step-son's house. It was a nightmare!!
Okay, what does "ttt for mothert" mean? Am I doing something wrong? If so, please give me a better explanation as I'm pretty uninformed on most of the jargon and acronyms on this site.
BIG PRAISE!!! Hubby's guns left the house today. All but one, that is; I found it when I returned from church and I don't know if he even knows that one is there. I'll snag it in a week or so when this issue has died down. Our youngest daughter came up and told her dad that the guns were her inheritance and that she wanted to take them now. Hubby has himself believing that I watched some tv program and have since become afraid of guns and that's why he has to give up his beloved guns. Whatever, they're gone. I expected full scale war when I returned from church at noon as he wasn't even talking to me when I left; but he was just fine and very loving. I guess this is the good part of this disease??
On another note ... our oldest daughter and son are going to buy hubby's car. Actually, his car is the one I would have sold, but I thought that it would be easier on him to not see HIS car in the garage and not be able to drive it. This transaction is actually going much easier than the guns issue. PTL!
mothert, "ttt" means "to the top". It brings a discussion up for those who haven't seen it. This one had been "dormant" since July 23, 2008, and Joang brought it up for you to read since you raised a question. YOU ARE NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG!!!!!