Since Mimi's got the Labor Day party underway on the other September thread, this one can be the monthly pulse check.
Things here: Ok. I had a nice time sitting on the sofa with Jeff this morning after helping him eat his breakfast at the ALF. He was a little more attuned than usual, in that he looked back at me with a pleasant smile on his face when I said things to him, and he seemed genuinely content to be next to me. This is only significant in that, lately, his brother and I feel like he often doesn't register our presence at all, or if he does, we're no different from anyone else to him. Lonely at home when daughter #3 (the last one at home for now,) spends 2 nights out. But, I guess I have faith that life will start to fill in the gaps.
Things here: OK too. Probably had the best 6 good days this week in a very long time. Then it all fell apart last night. But, that's the way it goes. At least I had some restorative time!
Emily, you are doing a terrific job, both with Jeff and finding other things to occupy your mind and time. I think of you often.
september already. where did the summer go? me too, every week seems something new is happening some good some bad. i managed to finally get away for 2 nites to las vegas last week after 12yrs of caregiving. i enjoyed the time with friends and DH did ok. but the day before he broke a tooth neare the gumline and it was a fiasco to get a mobile dentist to come to the house. also a very pricey visit to tell me it needs extraction. we decided to wait and see and when the its needed i will need to transport DH to an oral surgeon for extraction. they wont di it at home due to his inability to cooperatate. he wouldnt open his mouth of course. :) even with ativan. he has has had more declines and after yet another uti, he also seems to not be able to swallow anything but soft pureed foods. its a never ending struggle to keep up with the AD monster who chooses when and where to take yet more of our poor spouses ability to survive. vickie i hope your day improves, and emily that your jeff continues to enjoy your visits. hoping everyone is getting thru the holiday weekend with peace and a bit of happytimes. divvi
Busy weekend. DD and SIL left this morning for Afghanistan. They along with my xSIL are over there. My grandsons are with friends for the next 10 months or so. DH does not seem to understand all that is going on. I am trying very hard to be strong. Big mess with my DS and the future does not look well for him and family right now.
Not much to look forward to, but somehow we keep going. And in so many ways still blessed. Still getting over leaving work. One thing, I am putting on weight. So need to keep up with that. I like to eat.
I always said once school starts times flies, no time before Christmas is here. Youngest DD has two more years and then she is out of the nest. Seems like yesterday she was born.
We had father's day here yesterday...I invited kids and grandchildren to come down and enjoy a lovely restaurant lunch by the ocean, my treat. Dh had a lovely time, ate his fill of seafood, then as it got too noisy there, we went back to Ds's place for coffee..it was time for Dh's midday .5 Respiradone, with which then he fell asleep...woke up later, didn't remember a thing.
Can't believe how fast this year is going. Our son came home on Friday from Alaska where he worked for the last four months. So happy to see him. Wasn't sure if my husband would recognize him but when we picked him up from the airport, my husband got a huge smile on his face when he saw our son. :)
Have a busy few weeks coming up and am so glad my son can help with his dad. Our daughter is getting married Oct. 6, so there is a lot to do. Her bridal shower is next Sunday and I have a lot to do for that.
Our son is only going to be here for about 6 weeks where he will then travel to China (if all the visa stuff works out) to teach for the next 10 months. Going to enjoy him while he is home.
AS far as I am concerned, summer is over on Memorial Day..after that the summer and the rest of the year seem to be on some awful speedway toward the end of the year...with Labour Day breathing down our necks with Halloween not far behind, Thanksgiving next then Christmas but with decorations already out in some places one would think the year was already at the end...
We had nice weather but I had no holiday..no relief at all...I could say a lot more but won't.....
Like Joan, I have been working on some knitting, though I am no way nearly as accomplished as she is...all I can make so far are scarves of my own imagination...but there it is, that and the endless rounds for doctor appts, pick up meds the usual thing. Had to stay off FB to some degree..reading about eveyone else in the fam going on holidays was more than I could take..
Kittens still keep me busy...the little darlings are now 6 months old. So cute but wish I could have found a way to keep them baby cute small...not to be...may have to get a couple more of em...love the baby kittens..the teenagers are a handful...
Yay, Divvi, so glad you finally got away for a few days. You are SO long overdue! I've been traveling like crazy this year to make up for lost time. Sorry to hear about the tooth issue--will they have to put him to sleep to do the extraction? What an ordeal.
Marilyn, glad to hear you're travelling. I'm not there yet and am just beginning to think of myself and my own life sometimes. I'm entering my 9th month on my own tomorrow and while I've done a ton more this year it's another strange year in some eight years of what this disease is doing to us.
One thing I can see is that a combination of wanting it and time does it's work. As the days become weeks and months I can see that I am still in here and am still me. I still feel very interested in life and while I don't really know what I am right now, I'm understanding that as time continues to go by I will arrive at a place where I decide what I'm going to do with this new life that I have.
I wrote to Anchor20 a few days ago that it's better that it's me that has to face this than my wife and understood in that instant that was true. She would have been just as lonely and lost if it was me that was expiring and it's clicked for me how many channels there are to see this in.
To add to my problems, after surviving my wife's bout with shingles, my sister was admitted to hospital Saturday night with heart problems. She goes to the big medical center, 40 miles away, tomorrow for cath. Her concern now is how she will get home since I can only pick her up in the mornings. Her other problem is care for her dog. Fortunately, my daughter is here until October, so is taking the dog. I, and our kids, are her only family.
Good for you marsh to help out your sister. It never rains but it pours.
Just read in the economist that 15% of Americans are living alone. So over 45 million. It's the first article I've seen about what it calls 'singletons'. Apparently we don't live as long as happily married couples. Cheery bit of news.
Interesting comment by a Mr Klinenberg that "living alone, being alone, and being lonely are three different social conditions".
Clearly social policy in western countries is geared to couples and families which is a healthy outlook but it may be coming on the radar this article says that the fastest growing demographic is single people. People are living longer and outliving their partner - and young people are hooking up permanently later but people are also choosing to live alone more.
Hb has his nuerology appointment on Monday. It has been a year since he last saw her. Now I have to work on writing down the changes. I know I should have been doing it all along but you all know how it goes: you just take it a day at a time and not try to think of the losses. In another post the work I need is 'noun' - he forgets what things are called and 'noun' sounds much more technical!
Had a great time with the grandkids Sunday. HB was in good spirits - played with them, let them crawl on him. They were happy. Their mom got Maria's Shrivers book and read to them plus another one about kids dealing with AD. I had so much fun rough housing, wrestling, playing soccer, Sorry and Candyland with them. From the playing and 4 hour drive I was sore that night but didn't care - had fun. Hb decided to hog the bed that night - laid in the middle giving me just enough to lay on the edge. For the life of me I don't know why I didn't move to the other bed (had 2 queens) except when he woke up and found out would be angry - why didn't you move me over?
Neuro appointment went fine. In fact, he did good. 2 years ago he scored 23/30; a year ago 20/30; yesterday 24/30. I told her he had been practicing remember the date, year, month. He scored higher because he knew the month and year and didn't get marked down for not knowing the country since we move so much. She did make note of the notes I gave her so did not put much in the improved score. She was happy to hear he had given up driving but did impress that if he wants to not alone.
I asked about effectiveness of galantamine and she said she would recommend keeping him on it even when he starts to slide. Go back in a year unless there are changes or concerns like big loss or aggression. She always ask if there is any signs of aggression or depression. I told her I was well aware it can happen and also about this site. This time she wrote it down if she has any spouses interested.
I will be honest and say there is a large part disappointed he did well. I think the good time he had with grandkids helped his spirits and stress of not driving.