Wolf that makes me think of my anger issues, (less now than last year,), at the people that gave me advice without listening to me. I don't mean that's what your were doing, just that yeah, I too am so guilty of not seeing how others feel sometimes. I have read about Diane's friends that were just NOT there, and was angered at them, and that you have managed to almost let it go. Ugh that anger and disappointment can just eat away at me .
so though I feel I am getting better in the being angry with people department, I too, am seeing that the worst is to come. No, he is not dying yet. But I am so so struggling with the placement issue, for me that will be the next hardest time, the hardest yet. It is not this month, maybe not next, but likely sometime. I just can't see any other way at the moment.
Vickie I three have my flashlight, it is one of those wind up types . But I think I will not use it until I am ready to FACE those feelings in the attic.
Wolf,Vickie, and Coco—take your time searching your attics for those trunks. They aren’t going anywhere. When you’re ready, your brain will retrieve them and return their contents to you.
For now, think how wondrous it is, that our minds can store our good memories, protect them, and return them to us after the trauma of our Alz journey , undamaged. What a blessing. And we’ve heard that from our * members, repeatedly.
So too, when inundated with horrendous experiences and events, our minds protect us. Those things too big and too bad are stopped at the door and shuttled to that attic storage, to be rationed back to us as we regain the strength to face them. Even more amazing is that while stored away, our minds begin work on their processing, so when we get them back their blades are dulled; their hammers padded a bit. They aren’t changed and we’ll still have to deal with the emotions they bring us, but we will be strong enough when they come back to us and our minds will have aged them enough to be managed.
There’s a season for everything. Give this time to work for you.
Carosi, you are a blessing for us. This was a wise and wonderful post for us. I so wish I could find the words to express my feeling but I can only do comedy right now. Now, does that make sense???
the dull blades and hammer part was absolutely poetic and you sound like a famous writer.
You guys....only you know...I talk to my sister alot on the phone from Canada...but...though I love her dearly and she is hugely supportive, she just cannot do what you do. She told me today, "You sounded MANIC when we talked the other day!"
duhh.....I told her and I AM MANIC...just accept it. It is not every moment I am like that.
Didn't know which thread to put this under, but I didn't want to start a new one so I just put it here. Back in February I called a volunteer agency called Companion Care. They try to find someone to come & stay with seniors so the caregiver can get out. I asked if they had people who would sit with people with AZ & the lady said yes. Well last week someone finally called me to schedule a home assessment visit. The lady who came today has a husband with AD & a lot of other medical issues. We sat & talked well over an hour & she really understood my needs & she saw how DH was. He is actually very medicated now because our PCP upped his Seroquel & added Lorazepam because he is more agitated lately. He slept the entire time she was here. She said that she actually has someone in mind who she thinks will work out. When she asked how often I would want someone to come I told her twice a week (not sure how long per day they stay). So hopefully this will work out. Like I said, he has been more agitated lately & if that increases I might have to look into other options.
We both are exhausted and sore today. Washed the car and motorhome. Got some things packed up from outside. I am looking to head out to Nevada next Monday. Balloon Rally is this weekend in Prosser so we will be busy. Ready to start a new adventure and hb is excited too. This may be our last adventure to go on though depending on how he progresses.
Oh Charlotte, I wish you well! It's good that you are looking at it as an adventure. I'll pray that everything goes well for you & Art on your trip. I was hoping for one last adventure this weekend. I wanted to take a trip to our son's house in Ohio (6 hours away) but unfortunately my DH has declined in the past few weeks & now he is very paranoid & agitated & I have him on a stronger dose of Seroquel & have added Lorazepam. He is pretty “doped up” putting it bluntly, but it's either that or agitated & paranoid. I can't take him on a trip like that & why bother going if I can't even enjoy myself.
September is just flying by. Our daughter is getting married in less than 2 weeks. Still have a bunch of stuff to finish up. I'm looking forward to the wedding and dreading it at the same time. I'm hoping my husband handles it ok. My daughter and I decided to not have him walk her down the aisle as he has limited attention span and we were worried he would just try to wander off. Our son is going to walk her down the aisle. I do have an aide coming to keep an eye on my husband so he doesn't wander off and I can enjoy myself. The reception is in a hotel and we have rooms, so the aide can take him up to the room if needed. Fingers crossed all goes well.
Charlotte, wishing you a safe trip and that everything is good.
Oh yeah, today is my husband's 63rd birthday and he doesn't have a clue......
Deb, enjoy the wedding-such a special time! Looks like you've got everything under control. Happy birthday to your husband. Mine is 62, but he did know it was his birthday; but that was 6 months ago. I doubt he will know in 2013.
deb enjoy that wedding and family time. you have made excellent plans with regards to DH. having an aide and a room to take him to is a super idea. they tire easily and the noise and music makes them ansy. hope it goes well friend!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to all who celebrate, knowing or not. divvi
Today is my last day of work here in Prosser. I am excited to head out to a new adventure but sad to leave so many friends. This weekend is the Balloon Rally in town so the park is full. Many of those that come numerous times during the summer are here so are saying our final goodbyes. Because we go out and talk with them, Art and I have gotten to know many regulars. There are a few that have been here all summer and too will be heading to Arizona on Monday. Mike, one of the owners who offered me the job here for the winter, shook my hand, thanked me for the 2 years I have been here and wished me the best. Told me if ever in the area again during the summer I was welcome to come work here again.
Tomorrow I will do my final wash here, pack things into their riding places in the motorhome and head out Monday. Still have not decided which route to take!! Probably will not until Monday morning. CC our cat knows something is going on so Monday will have to make sure she doesn't escape or we would have to delay leaving until she decides to come in usually about 2-3 hours wait.
Charlotte, will be thinking of you on Monday morning,I envy you starting a new adventure and a new month.We moved many time until our children got to high school and I loved it. I will be wayching for your comments,Happy Trails to You.
Charlotte yes have a wonderful pleasant trip...travel safely. deb... Happy Birthday to your DH..only 63..hope it's a good day, even if he doesn't remember it..
Charlotte Bon Voyage! Sheesh it's not even raining yet you can't leave. My dh big 6-0 is this week and the kids decided to come... he does know but will forget immediately after. I was just going to downplay it but since his health scare with his heart this winter I think they want to hold on to any special days...so we will have a nice family-only party for him. I didn't get him anything because he will just forget and it will save $$ plus I will take lots of pics because he does love to sit and look at them over and over and over... deb good luck with your wedding...how special but I bet it was stressful. I am sort of hoping my three will wait a while but I guess I have no control over that!
charlotte, hard to leave whats familiar behind but new adventures await. make the most of it as time is of consequence as we well know with AD. safe trip
I changed my picture. It now shows the prison I'm being held in against my will and the infamous christmas tree which is still there without much left on it like an empty shelf after the rioters have picked it over.
This may seem retarded but it does make it easier for the coming year. Twice I came into the living room last year after a noise to find my wife on that rug wrestling with the tree. I could never tell who won but it wasn't the bulbs.
Those who may have followed know this will be the third christmas it is up in the picture window without ever being taken down. I got your eccentric right here. On the other hand being in this crowd with people that asked for a handle think of Grendel and his mother - I can't be out of place by much.
I don't know whether I've mentioned but I used to be happily married. Now I'm horribly marred. Sounds the same. Not the same.
Because of Joan's thread about TV shows I think I finally will watch five minutes of "Pregnent in Heels" which is about I have no idea but simply has to be trashy. My cat agrees. She's on my desk in front of the open window watching the two rabbits in the backyard with keen interest. Not as keen as when the Tom comes around. Then she positively howls and races through the house to various windows. Probably wants to exchange phone numbers.
This isn't "as bad" as I originally thought when I first read about you leaving the tree up last year. For some reason I had a picture of a real tree, needles falling, branches drying.
How have you been Wolf? I fear I will never be able to catch up on everyone’s stories.
It is still a daily struggle ... I am in a waiting game now for symptoms to warrant the risks of another surgery. And I am tired!! The kind of tired sleep just doesn’t seem to help.
My daily visits with Lynn are still the highlight of my days, my life. When I can’t see him for whatever reason I get depressed as hell, even if it is for only one day. It gives me a bleak look into my future…..accccck
I finally have found my answer to two never-ending questions...
#1 How is Lynn doing? .. My answer now is, He knows a peace in this world most never will.
#2 How are you feeling? I want to say, oh me and this mass in my head are getting along just fine. I puke from pain every day, how the hell do you think I am doing??? But I of course don’t say that… instead I find humor in using one of Lynn’s old sayings. “I’m on the right side of the sod”
Oh Nikki so glad to hear from you I have been thinking about you a lot. I am sorry you are in pain. Your sweet good nature still shines through. Now to you Wolf, Ha ha I too had imagined much worse, like a dark victorian living room with a desiccated tree in the corner cobwebs flying about in the breeze. About my handle ... I guess when one's mother reads stories like Beowulf to you as a child one gets a little warped but believe me I earned the handle the old-fashioned way. (but we won't go into that here)