Yikes this new month sneaked in on us like a thief in the night...about to steal summer!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Now that I got your attention, here on the Central Coast it was a sunny nice day..breezes and temps in the 70s in our area...Time to plan that Labour Day Picnic everyone...
Let me see...hot dogs, burgers, cole slaw, chips, dips, buns, beverages, paper goods, but where to we want to gather?
What are we all asleep? Tomorrow is the big Labour Day...ahem....ok, let's meet at Shell Beach,CA . It is off the 101 and there are nice locations there..can't miss it and the weather is nice..whales are gone now..the humpbacks were causing gridlock as people were trying to get to see them up the coast but there are birds and other critters to oogle out over the sea..
Let's have some fun for a change...we need it...OK, I'll admit it, I am a bit behind the wheel as the party planner for this weekend..my bad..but it isn't too late...not if anyone really really wants to picnic....
All my posts disappear as soon as I "add comments"???
Anyway, have baby back ribs ready for the crockpot; southern baked beans and potato salad; brownies with coffee liquor and Kaluhua baking. House smells good!
I don't know Mimi. There's no one home. It's like they have their own lives or something. I used to have a life. I was just sitting here remembering it when I signed on realizing I've been out here almost 6 years and none of it has been normal.
I however am now wondering just how far away from Vickie I am. Save me some of that!
When I lived in New England, September meant cooler days, crisp MacIntosh apples, and just about the nicest weather of the year. 70's, clear sky, no humidity. As much as I love living in Florida while my New England friends are snowed under in the winter, September in Florida means more stifling humidity and hurricane warnings. Just get me through September with no flooding, wind damage, or power outages, and I'll be fine for the rest of the year.
In the meantime, while it's humid as a steam bath outside and a hurricane lurking in every corner, I am inside knitting for the holidays.
Well, I'll bring the iced tea or as we say in my part of the country sweetea. Unless of course you are among those who must add (Pardon me, please) artificial sweetner???. Happy holiday to all. And football season, finally. A good distraction from an otherwise unreal, sad world.
NJ temps are moderating-low 80"s today and mid 70's tomorrow with a chance of rain (ty Issac). Ribs in the fridge with my spectacular rub, corn on the cob, fresh tomatoes and basil, shrimp cocktail (or grilled-not sure yet). Have to plan dessert. Refilled the propane tanks so we're ready to go! PAR TY!!!!
No sweettea here-wine, wine, wine.
Wolf, you're always welcome in NJ! But I might put you to work (Grillmaster?)
Hey, it's spring here down under..I'll fire up the barbie..and cook you all an Aussie B-B-Q, steaks, lamb chops, snags (sausages), fied onion, egg...cold beer or red wine ...oh and of course our famous Pavlova with lashings of fresh whipped cream, fresh strawberries and Kiwi fruit
Wow, we have some menu going...and our watermelon out here is pretty good too...we can diet after Halloween...er maybe after Christmas....let the fun begin..
Judith, it was some time ago that I added my star, but I think you go to your last post, click on your name; that will take you to your profile, and then I think that you just add a star after your name.
Thanks all....Coco...so glad you are glad..hehehehe. The trip went fine and now he is really at rest...and I know I will be OK...just will take time. You all are my friends and you just don't give up your friends. I couldn't have made it this far without the help and knowledge I received from this wonderful blog.
Remember those days wineglass in your hand where it never occured to you that life would be so hard? Full of life like a ripe peach (easy there Wolf) deciding on the chardonnay or a dry white and making chatter like asking if the water really does drain the other way in Australia.
Instead of going with the idea that a party like this would sound like a dozen people blowing up air mattresses with footpumps because of all the sighing - imagine that the real fountain of youth is a blow up kiddie pool out behind Joan's or anywhere and everyone standing there is instantly transported to a huge party at some incredible place full of exactly the type of people you imagine as interesting and looking down you see that you have wildly improbable proportions in all the right places and none of the wrong places.
All the men have washboard pecs and are just that blend of hard and dangerous or tender and caring that makes the underbrush smoulder or you could commune with Ghandi or anyone because everyone is at the party that you want the instant before you realize you want them there.
So you chat with Brad who really should keep his hands to himself and get a little tipsy while some people over there in evening wear are throwing people into the pool laughing and some wag is singing like Caruso though rather badly and you forgive him instantly noticing that some of the local theatre people have dressed up in Elizabethian gear and are serving canapes on large silver trays mostly to each other but you forgive them too and decide the time to learn how to fly an airplane has arrived but you fall into the swimming pool instead.
Half a dozen men lunge forward to help you out and soon you are in an oversized terrycloth bathrobe with a towel around your head which you make look elegant with your irrepressible character like a Dorthy Parker wit but with a kind of Judy Cleaver approachability and a hint of Scarlett Ohara pout where you don't think of yourself as anything - you just are willing to do about anything in life and do your best to carry it off.
Setbacks like falling into a pool when you intend to take flying lessons are brushed off because you've just had an idea for a little story you could write and decide to take your friend up on her invitation to spend the fall in her little apartment in Paris.
(Wolf gets up to feed the cats and make himself a sandwich - sighing)
Wolf that is so amazing, I mean, I guess in many ways we ARE all the same, but I particularly understood your diatribe. In a small way, it reminds me of something I said to someone the other day.
"As long as we like each other, are not harming each other, and helping and loving each other, can we not just overlook each others weirdness?"
Such as , bringing sex in to a subject that had nothing to do with it, or making farting noises with your mouth, or doing the happy dance in the middle of a quiet moment,,well.. you know what I mean. Don't go later and tell people, "That Coco, what a pervert, and did you see that ridiculous wiggly dance she did for no reason?"
Instead, just laugh and love each other. If we are so bad, then drop us out of your lives. (I am trying to apply this to damaged friendships)
The setback of falling in to the pool when I intended to fly, and then the taking a friend on a trip just happened here, all those little "signs" and wonders that are only that if you believe. (trip to a gourd festival in Casa Grande Arizona, in Feb. early. Anyone live near there?)
I miss the fall weather. Hot and sunny in South Florida, though we had a little coolness last night. Maybe I should put out my Halloween decorations early, to get into the mood!
Ok...in case you get lost, you take 101 to OakPark Blvd then I'll meet you at CVS Pharmacy and lead the way to my house and then to the beach!! Got the van packed up now...I have a white Toyota van....see ya there! tee hee
Wolf, your comments reminded me of the Lord Chancellor's song in Gilbert and Sullivan's operetta "Iolanthe". If you want to read it, Google "When you're lying awake with a dismal headache".
Coco...I'm game for gourd festival in Casa Grande in Feb. ......keep me posted if you really get to go.
I am going to keep a bag packed and anyone that offers an invitation to me...and even if I have to invite myself....I plan on going and doing...and really don't care too much where it is or what I will be doing.
My grand daughter called yesterday and invited me to northern Ca. in Oct. to visit...I am going.
Marsh, thanks for that. The peppery mile-a-second Nightmare Song is a tongue twister for any actor. He takes you to that place you wrestle with sleep. I don't test those limits of suspend disbelief. I jump right through them looking for one part circus clown, one part James Dean, one part Lewis Black without the anger, and one part jaded philosopher trying to make you see it first person. Never hit it yet, but it's something to live for.
This isn't a place for that form. Just a bit of deflection outside the norm.
Now you may wonder what I'm doing in someone's basement watching this to strange twenty first century big band sound; but, there have been 10 million of us in that basement. Look at the counter. It's not me that's out there.
Thanks, Wolf, I love watching a guy that can dance! BTW, if you want to meet women--join a Zumba class. In each of my classes, we have only one guy to about 30-40 women. And all of us are in pretty good shape (Zumba is an exercise dance class--a great workout and fun). Apparently, there are single guys out there who aren't sure how to meet single women, this would be a surefire way.
Good suggestion Marilyn. DH was in a jazercise class many years ago and yup, he was the only guy! It was fun, kept him in shape and was a wondeful place to meet someone.
Charlotte, he's not an eclair - he's just a boy in his parent's basement. (hee-hee-hee) That's the spirit though. And in all honesty that's the point. I'll show you guys.
I got there through this compilation of cars losing control on ice where I saw the first one and what a good job he does of combining them with music. I was after the first song, but it was the ending music that hooked me and suddenly I was in the guys basement watching him dance. Here's that interesting car experience:
That's how I got there where in truth I'm looking at things that happen to people with a slant on how people see things and that's actually the journey I'm on which I will continue today. Going through sideways or any other direction. (I'm lonely inside I don't know whether I've told anyone - AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!)
So, finally to the point. Watch the last part of that ice video above where the guys slide down the hill with the banjo. Ask yourself this. Was it important that he dropped the perfectly good banjo or that the two of them are having a great time laughing?
When the guy is in the basement dancing does he care that he left a pile of stuff on that chair? No he's dancing. Most people won't care either because it's irrelevant. Some will fixate on it.
We live what we see not what is there. So I sent that dancing video to my friend and he wrote he was never that fluid because he sees everything in terms of himself and competes with the family dog for attention.
We live what we see not what is there. That's why the Grinch, the Lion King, and a host of others get away with the double meanings littered throughout. That's why life altering events change them - not you. That's why the mirror is often a suprise. Why neutrinos go right through the earth without hitting anything because solid rock isn't. Why sorrow drives out joy which it doesn't. And so on.
We live what we see not what is there.
ps - Marilyn, I know exactly how to meet women. Buy the porche, drive it out to a public place, and lean on it. Oh, and bring a pad and pen. Because I'll need it. Now that may sound aritificial because it is; but, how much different is it from joining a Zumba class for the same reason? We live what we see not what is there which is why a porche when you want an eclair.
I agree that the Porche will work, but Zumba classes are a heck of a lot cheaper. You lost me on the eclair metaphor. Yes, most women (sadly) are looking for guys with money. I must be one of the odd ones who puts other things at the top of my priority list.
It's me. I was comparing trolling for women with having an eclair. That wasn't in reference to your Zumba class comment. The truth is that I have issues with all of this part.
The most honest thing I can say is that after long reflection I realize that while I love her the biggest effect is how much I miss the intimate familiarity with my partner which took a lifetime of nuance to create.
I focused on her the last five years I had her with me. Even though I had all kinds of reactions to the specific losses, I was walled off because there was no point. I feel good that I took her to so many places. One of the hardest things about this year alone is understanding that I've been without her and without me for years now and it is only in this period and only in the last month or two where more sensitive and real feelings are willing to show themselves that I'm coming to understand just how much I've been affected to the core - and that I'm not done learning how alienated I am to my own life. No drama. Just the truth. A similar truth for all of us close enough.
It's a little creepy going through the days and months feeling like I'm a guest in someone else's life because I can hardly recognize it. It's creepier still to pull yourself together time and again while none of that weirdness goes away but transforms to yet clearer revelations and more intense memories of moments that have until now been sealed but here's that time she somehow phoned me in a panic not knowing where she was and unable to tell me. And there are many more lined up waiting for me so they can reveal themselves.
The biggest pain to me is the less obvious but completely real conflict inside that I desperately want someone with me to share life with and parts of me are beating that drum; while most of me is turning around pieces trying to find something else I can fit together that makes sense and in a truth like that I don't see how I can improve my life or the other person's by allowing someone into it as it is.
I'm not even close to absorbing this so that I myself am balanced in what that is. I only know that time is changing things and I have not changed my mind that I move forward now even though I'm still watching over her. I don't mind so much either that this is really hard. That makes sense. I just never thought it would come apart like this both inside of me and outside and that I would literally be faced with putting pieces together conciously and making that my reality as opposed to the free flowing natural life it appeared to be for all those decades.
I'm aware enough that I know this will all be different two years from now because I can see that with a direction time does it's work and I know I have to go through this honestly to come out whole.
I've been a fortunate man. Married to my highschool sweetheart, I've fallen in love many times. That works both ways. We were never jealous people. I don't mean to offend anyone. I know the number of women I could genuinely fall in love with numbers in the millions. But that's the old me talking. The new me is a mess right now.
If you have a star beside your name and you are lonely, give me your address and I'll come over and kick your butt until you go out and start living your life. No charge.
Oh Wolf, its unusual to hear anyone say they could have fallen in love many times. I love my husband deeply and we both had several "serious" and not so serious relationships before we married. We were in our early 30's and I always thought we had experienced enough of life to consciously make our choice. But I also belive that someone can love "Mr. Right/Ms. Right" depending on where they are in their lives. I always told DH he was "Mr. Right at the right time" ; I do believe we can and do meet several people who are "Mr/Ms Right" depending on the circumstances. That in no way diminishes our love for our partners.
Hi all, I missed coming here more than I could believe but my computer crashed and of course I did not remember my password. yikes. Thank you Joan. I am back aka grendelsma, had to get new handle and pw. Silly me. I'll be baaack... now that I am able.
and speaking of Sept an flowers,here in the midwest the hostas are all in bloom an I have never cut any flowers an brought them into house until yesterday,I can't believe how fragrant they are,anyone with hostas should bring some in an enjoy,kind of like the last rose of summer
Actually you can get varieties of Hostas that will bloom from early spring to late fall so you have some in bloom at all times. The same with rhododendrons but then they don't smell.
shade loving plants with big leaves of different shades of green. Some are varigated. I noticed in New England many people use them for landscaping in mass.
I've learned an awful thing this past two weeks. My emotions have changed a lot. It's easy for everyone to understand that our emotions have been put under tremendous strain. It's somewhat scary to realize that I really don't feel anything deeply the way I used to.
I know this because my last couples friends who were very accepting of my DW are facing a very dangerous brain operation this Wednesday where without it he has a month and with it he might have ten. She called me on my birthday and when she talked about her worries about the house and having enough money, I said she needed to understand how the house is set up (there's a corporation involved) which she shut down and then tried to find out what money she needs which she shut down. She became distraught that she was focusing on her husband and not these practical matters.
I should have known that but I didn't. Staring at the hung up phone, I understood that I felt nothing inside. And from that I have come to understand that my emotions are locked in a trunk buried in the attic and they're not coming out - and I didn't know that. I would have said it wasn't true and that I was under strain and had been hurt - but that I was basically still me inside.
It makes sense. We get hurt so much for so long that things happen inside to defend ourselves. It's not just my thinking that's changed, it's my feelings too. I don't have any at the moment. Anyways, I've got a flashlight and I'm going up into the attic to look for them. I won't find them because my mind knows the worst is yet to come; but, it's something to do.