It just helps me SO much when I can vent here. My LO is getting worse so fast now. But he is not incontinent. And he STILL has feelings when people like our daughter-in-law won't permit our son to fly up here from Forida to see him. Money is not the object either. Since he's military, I wonder if the Red Cross might be of any help in getting him here to see his Dad before it's too late.. I feel things will quickly continue their downward spiral in regard to his Dad's disease. I also got a very hurtful letter from this daughter-in-law telling me my son's faults.She finds fault with him being Iraq during the fight over there. 'Told me that he deserted his wife and family then plus other things that will serve no purpose to enumerate here..But I truly don't believe I will have husband around for a very long time and I think it's so cruel to do this to us now. thanks for being there to all you GOOD people.
When we're isolated by events like this which are very hard we need to try and pick our battles. Go ahead and vent here by all means and you have every right. But try not to let too much build inside about the 'normal' people. We have to let them be as much as we can because we need our energy units. Hope the son can make it to see his dad.
I second Wolf's advice. Save your energy for all that may happen in the future. Problems will always be here and you can address the important ones now, and the others, put on the back burner. I am so sorry you are having these issues. Prayers and hugs are on the way for you and your loving husband......take care.....
Contact the Red Cross and see what documents they may require to send to your son's command which verify your husband's condition. The Red Cross should then notify your son's command of his father's condition, especially if death is near! Make certain you have your son's full name with his rank, military address, name of his unit, it's address etc. His Commanding Officer or his designated responsible officer is then able to assist him in getting any emergency leave documents your son might require. Ignore this daughter in law..it is not her father it is your son's father who is ill with a terminal disease and he should man up ,tell her to shut up, and get home to see his father ,as you say ,before it is too late. I may sound hard but I have no use for in laws, or anyone else, who tries to interfere in this way..further for her to call you and or write letters to you that bad mouth your son to you is obscene. Since you mention FL I gather your son is not overseas so getting home should not be terribly difficult. If he is overseas, time is of the essence. I am retired military.
Ditto what MiMi said. If he is in FL he can catch a military transport on space avail and that will put him a base near you. He can then rent a car take a bus etc to your location. IF he is in Iraq that is a different story. The Red Cross will need confirmation from the doc. He will only be allowed the one trip. In other words if he comes now and your DH passes to glory some time later and he is still in a hostile country, he will not be allowed to return for the bereavement. Do not even figure your daughter in law into the equation. Arms around you.
midwestmn--another potential benefit of ignoring dysfunctional relatives--I found that people who were worthless or added stress while my husband was home, suddenly "got it" when I placed him and became more caring. I will never forget what transpired earlier, but at least they woke up before it was too late. This may not happen in all cases, but it did in mine.
DIL needs to butt out!!! Maybe your son should throw her back and fish for a new one if she can't even support him in his service to his country!!! My grandson is stationed in Pensacola in the Navy and he was just evacuated to Georgia. Hope your son has not been evacuated because it might make it more difficult to track him down. Sometimes a recruiter in your area will step in and assist too.