We were supposed to go out and do errands today—and maybe have lunch, because I had been feeling a little blue lately--but both of us are feeling sick, so we stayed home. About an hour ago I got a call that DH's father had just died. He also had dementia, which brought up a lot of thoughts I'd rather not deal with right now, like what DH's future looks like.
When I went back in the living room after that phone call, to tell my husband that his father had died, DH was holding a FedEx package from our bank (that came while I was on the phone), saying that they were going to start foreclosure proceedings on our home. Shortly afterward the mail came and we had another letter and a certified letter from the bank about the foreclosure.
It's too bad that I don't drink, because this would be a really, really good day for taking advantage of a little chemical intervention in how I feel. I keep telling myself "I can get through this", but some days I'm not so sure.
Jan K - just so sorry for all that is going on in your life right now. I wish I had wise words but I never do but just know I'll be saying prayers for you and your situation. I hope you won't be offended.
Jan, first take care of yourself,. Second, attend to your dh and his family during the time of loss of his father. Now, third---is there some one in the family or a close friend who can help you with the foreclosure issue? This is a time when you need to ask for help. I pray that someone will be there for you. jerseymama*
Sorry about your FIL. My FIL died 2 years ago after 25 years battle with AD. My husband was really affected by it - had to tear him away from the coffin. I think it was due to having trouble accepting both his dad's death (they were never close) and knowing it was his future.
As for the foreclosure - even if you know it is happening, reality is still a shock. Add that to you not feeling well.
As flo39 said, prayers for you and your husband. You have some horrible days ahead.
Please remember to come back here and vent if you need to.
JanK, I am so very sorry for your very rough day! Condolences on the death of DH's father.
As to the foreclosure, did you know this might be happening, and have you been in contact with the bank? Please don't neglect doing that, if at all possible. There may be a way they can re-finance for you, extend the loan, various options may be available, depending upon your circumstances. Ask them what your options are.
So many are in these dire straits these days and it's so very sad. But, stay out of the bottle while you are so down! Arms are around you, new knots tied in the rope, and lots of hugs coming your way.
jan i agree with vickie, call the bank or go in person and ask for help. they may be able to offer a solution to help keep the home, esp with DH condition. sending you lots of hugs jan, i know you are feeling stressed out, but know your friends here are holding out our hands to help you though this.
and condolences on the loss of your dear fatherinlaw. divvi
Here is some information on government programs to help avoid/manage foreclosures: http://portal.hud.gov/hudportal/HUD?src=/topics/avoiding_foreclosure
Make sure you deal with one of these official programs; there are a lot of people out there taking advantage of people. I hope something here helps. I'm sorry for all your going through.
Jan -- I certainly will be offering prayers for you and your DH. I'm so sorry for such a difficult time. Another website to check out is www.makinghomeaffordable.gov. We were just denied a refinance on a second home we own in which my 88 year old mother-in-law is living. Just trying to not disrupt her life and keep it as a source of payment for DH's future care. There are always too many bumps in the road -- I hope someone can give you good sound financial advice.
Just hang in there and focus on comforting your husband -- and above all, take care of yourself.
JanK - I have just been through a foreclosure my self. I can understand your pain. We lost our house but we survived. DH does not even know it happened. It is a very hard place to be. I will prayer you can someone to help you make good choices. I'm very sorry for your families loss.
I'm so sorry about your bad day. You have been kicked in the teeth severely. Isn't it ironic that those things should happen now? I guess I would go to my pastor, rabbi, city council, Red Cross, or free legal helps or anyone that was out there trying to serve mankind. I would ask them for ideas or other sources to help you find ways to get help at the bank or any place else. Bless you!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jan K. so sorry that it is all happening at once. You have some time with the foreclosure. IF they just sent the notice then you do not need to panic just yet about moving. Ask someone for help. I am sorry that your father in law passed. Is is possible that he might have left an estate that would help with the foreclosure? Also check with AARP they have some very valuable resoures in banking in finance. Take a deep breathe and just take one day at a time. Arms around.