I guess every caregiver who reads this can relate. Can any one of you tell me how to handle dh when he gets up after two hours sleep and insists on dressing and (a) going to work (b) going to Huntsville to catch a plane (c) going fishing. These are my past three experiences. I ask our pcp for something for dh so he would sleep but what he gave was a disaster. First of all I didn't read the cover paper (my error) and gave him the pill with the rest of his night time pills. I always give them before he starts his nightly going to bed routine - tooth brushing, shaving, etc. This pill took effect IMMEDIATELY so I had a jelly legged 170 lbs. man I was trying to undress and get into bed -- forget any routine. He wears depends at night so I mistakenly thought he'd sleep a long time and if there was a "mistake" as he calls it it would be ok. Wrong--- he was up three times and so unsteady I thought each time both of us would fall trying to get to the bathroom. I was barely getting to sleep between each trip as this always brings all the terrible thoughts about what is happening to us and how unreal it all is. Next night I waited until he was sitting on the bed before I gave the pill. Same thing as before he does sleep soundly for awhile then up and so unsteady and its three or four times - still I'm sleeping maybe an hour between times as I don't immediately fall asleep after these little jaunts. The next morning he was so confused. He kept wanting me to call E. (that's me) to come get him and take him home. He became so agitated I was just at my wits end and so groggy from lack of sleep. I finally called one of our sons and he talked with him about what he had been wanting me to do. Son came and dh calmed down some. He stayed while I left to do some errands but I was so tired I didn't enjoy my time away one bit. Last night - no pill and he was up after two hours undressed and put on underclothes and I finally got him back to bed. This time he was hard to control and he grabbed by shoulders but did not shake me he did through put his hands around my neck. I told him to let me go and he did immediately. This time he slept about four hours and then got up and put on his clothes and was "going to work". It was 5:30 a.m. I had taken a tylenol p.m. so I was enjoying my sleep but there was nothing to do but get up although I was slow doing this and got something for us to eat. He is now vacuuming the floors. I actually dread bedtime although I am so tired and want to just sleep but I know he won't sleep more than three for maybe four hours at a time and then we go through this every night. Like just about everyone on this board I'm worn out. Any suggestions about how what I might do in this situation would be appreciated. This med the pcp gave is a generic I know it is Zolpidem Tartrate CR 12.5 MG T (read from the label) and very pricey. Anyone know about this one?
Flo, my only experience was a couple weeks ago when DH got up after 2 hours, dressed and went to the garage to get the car! Of course he had no keys, I followed him and finally got him back inside, but he kept insisting he had to "go somewhere". Next day PCP prescribed Lorazapam, which I started that night, but I gave it to him too early. He goes to bed around 6 after we eat dinner and that's when I gave it to him, but he still got up in a couple of hours, but didn't try to go outside. From the on, I give it to him when he gets up after a couple of hours - and it kick in in about 1/2 hour. So far, so good, he will get up to go to the bathroom, but comes right back to bed.
However, everyone is different, and I know nothing about the meds your DH is taking. This doesn't interfere with anything DH is taking.
This phase is so hard - mentally and physically - especially with little sleep.
When my husband started doing this (for about 6 months) I had to have a key only door knob put on the bedroom door, with the key on a bracelet on my wrist. (I had another one hidden in the hutch in the den and a third hidden in my chest of drawers) He could get up and dress, but couldn't leave the bedroom. I pretended to be asleep, while he tried his fingernail, putting a flashlight up to the doorknob and turning it on, and turning on our bathroom light and going back and turning the knob. It was hard to pretend to be asleep when you are smiling. <grin> He would then sit down on his side of the bed for a while, before laying down and going back to sleep. In the morning, I pretended everything was normal, and unlocked the knob, and opened the door and he followed me to the kitchen, where I fixed his coffee. As long as he doesn't hurt himself and can't leave the bedroom, it will be okay.
I had to have deadbolt key only locks on all the outer doors that opened with the same key. Every family member and my neighbor had a key and every guest who came into the house was given a key until they left, and they would give it back. This ensured he didn't leave when your back is turned. Yet everyone could get out in an emergency.
My husband never got violent, but would try the knobs several times each day, then sit back down in his recliner. He loved several movies (he wouldn't watch regular TV, because of the commercials - they interferred with his ability to comprehend and it frustrated him. He watched old movies that he KNEW, and that brought him comfort. However, I now know about 10 movies word-for-word! <grin>
Back to your original problem, you must keep him safe, and you must get some sleep. Finding a sleeping medication for him that will give you four hours is about as good as you will find at this stage of AD, and this will pass. Give the med another day, then ask the doctor for a different type if he is still groggy during the day.
It is very hard on you and you will have sleep deprivation, but after a few nights of watching him with one eye opened and pretending to be asleep to make certain he doesn't hurt himself or anything in the bedroom (move out vaulables, just in case!), this may work for you. Their timeclock in their head says it is time to go to work, or time to get up, and you can't fix that timeclock. It will pass, and you can make it through. It cost me $95 for the locksmith to install the new doorknob that needs a key on both sides. It was worth every penny!
flo mary has given good ideas. a deadbolt on the door to keep him in. then you can sleep and no he cant get into stuff outside the bedroom. but i think your issue is the med the dr gave. its not a good fit i would think if hes groggy and wobbly and still getting up. many of us have used the ativan, or generic lorazapam for this type of sleep deprivation. i would call the dr and say its not working and see if he'd agree to try another or the ativan. going without sleep is just torture for any of us and of course them. we all need to be able to rest at night. i hope you get this ironed out. all else fails you may want to think about placing him sooner than you thought. i am sorry you are not getting enough sleep. its hell and only makes the next days work so much harder and with less patience. good luck divvi
the Geriatric doctor who called me last week when I was in a tizzy, told me, that sleep deprivation is the #1 reason people place their mates! Hope for a solution for you Flo, it is so awful being tired on top of just everything else. I have had almost a week of "better" sleep, what a difference.
Before I even finished reading your post I knew which med you were discussing.
I take it, and have for years. Husband took it also. My result is that it is the only med that helps, although I never, or rarely get 7-8 hours from it. For my husband the result was not that much.
He too had the experience of waking early, which really was his general habit. He wanted to dress and go to work months after he no longer worked. General N said CR Zolpidem could be enchanced by benedryl. Really, I ended up going back to ativan instead although as the situation progressed he metabolized than at a faster and faster rate. The next step was going to be Restoril and sorry I don't remember the generic.
By any chance, is your husband on aricept@23mg or depakote? I found those meds to increase delusions more than anything else.
I know what you mean about sleep. Being awakened at 3am and told it is "morning and time to start the day" made me beyond.
Thanks to all. For whatever reason he slept all night except for one trip to the bathroom last night so I did too. It was wonderful when I awoke to the alarm this a.m. as we had a breakfast date with dear friends. I didn't give him the "bad" pill only one tylenol p.m. hoping it wouldn't interact with the others. I will call the doctor Monday to just get another appointment and go over all these things he is taking. I am going to look into Adult Daycare also. Never thought this would come so soon but he seems to be declining so rapidly. I'm hoping having some activities will help and maybe he won't sleep so much in the day. I never played much with my children probably missed a lot but can't go back. Anyway I can't seem to think up anything for him to do so he just sits most of the day. He was such an active person and our yard was just beautiful never a weed in his flower beds. That is all the flower beds are now and it is a real chunk of money to get someone to take care of them. But I'm rambling as usual - again thanks for your input always so good to have this help you are all the best friends I could hope for.
Sleep is so important...for the past two nights I have had very little sleep and then it was sleep with one eye open. Today, I am just shot. I need to be placed.
flo, DH has been in this stage for almostt a year now and it is causing all of us problems (we have a live-in aide). DH goes to bed around 10 pm, sleeps for 2hours, is up pacing, dressing, trying to go out for about 4 hours then finally goes to sleep around 5 am and will sleep until noon if I let him (of course I don't-I wake him up at 9 am). Although all our doors have deadbolt locks and he cannot get out, its still very annoying that he's climbing up/down stairs. About 2 weeks ago we had a substitute aide and he didn't sleep even 1 hour that night-banged on the aide's door all night wanting his shoes and to "go home".
I have tried many meds over the last year to control this behavior and have him sleep-right now the dr prescribed 150 mgs of trazadone at bedtime, but it has not broken his pattern at night. I gave him 200 mgs and he did sleep but was in a drug induced haze all day. Still working on the right combo. A few words of advice-daycare might help with the situation because it will keep him active during the day and he won't be sleeping. Also, one of the members here suggested I give him a few cups of regular coffee in themorning and see if that will keep him awake during the day so he could sleep at night. so far we've not had much success solving this problem.
instead of coffee i give DH a root beer or coke float with icecream every day to keep some caffeine in him so he doesnt sleep all afternoon. its works for us. and he never refuses it. "_
I have been giving him only water with supper and nothing else to drink until pills at bedtime thinking maybe he wouldn't need to go to the bathroom so much at night. I guess I want to live in a world of Normal of which we no longer are. I'm going to try the caffeine during the day though. we've been on decaf so long but what difference does it make at this stage of the game. He has slept a lot this p.m. even when we visited my sister at ALF this p.m.
I can find nothing that will keep my dh awake either during the day or at night. 20 hours a day seems to be the norm. Now I get him up to eat and within 20 mins more or less...he says..."I'm cold and I want to go back to bed and sleep". He told me several weeks ago when he could actually talk a little better he liked sleeping because he could dream. If he is awake...he just sits with his head down on his chest... and it makes me so sad I would rather see him asleep. Sleeping all day does not seem to bother his night time sleeping at all.
This was the reason I finally had to put my DH in a NH. I couldn't take the no sleep anymore and tried everything. One night he fell down the stairs while he was wandering around, so that was kind of the last straw. However, now I am SO glad I did place him - it is much better for both of us. He is getting the care he needs and I am much better mentally and physically. I know we all think we can take care of them at home, but when you look back I wonder why I waited to place him.
flo, it you need some busy activties for him, I have found that a muffin tin with a large jar of diffent colored buttons is the key for my. Have him sort the button for you into the muffin cups. He could sort by size, shape or my favorite color. IF you do not have buttons you could use screws and nuts and washers or dimes, nickles and pennies or skittles candy (the m&m melt to fast and cause loose bowel movements if he decides to snack on them). There is also a set that the craft stores sell in the childrens dept that have large wooden blocks and beads with holes in them that you string.