He has decided that he would like to go the home across the street for the winter starting in October. It would make it easier for me, but I don't know how financially able I would be for my own sustenance.. We could provide for him there financially. We have long term, but only to the tune of $100 a day. Yes, I am getting tireder and tireder, but am not sure that it's old age or exhaustion, or both. And I do like to have him around even though it's only the company and certainly nothing else. Any light you kindhearted souls have to shed on the subject?
I just lost my post when I tried to look up your age on one of your previous posts, but I think you said you were 79 and he was in his early 80's. My intuition says he knows he's going downhill and doesn't want to be a burden to you. So yes, I think it is your age and your exhaustion, and his, too. Could your doctor or a Social Worker in your community help you access some financial aid for you if he goes into the Care Facility across the street? It would be easier on you physically if his care was taken over by them and you could just enjoy visiting him as often as you wanted, or felt up, to. Someone must know how to do this for you. Would your church know? I'd try to move him for his sake and for yours. I'm 82, and I found that after I was 79, I had a lot less energy and that this loss of energy continues the older I get. Anyway, that's the way it was, and is, for me.
midwestmn, if he is willing its a good time to take the leap of faith. you may find he adjust more readily than thought. many of us think our spouses would not adjust only to find it was easier than previously thought. if he decides at some point he doesnt want to stay, at least you got a bit of respite to recharge and rest. hoping it works out for you. mary 75 has offered good advice about looking into help to cover the rest of the cost. let us know how it goes. divvi
midwestmn--another alternative could be an adult day program. The LTC policy may cover it and it is certainly less costly than a facility (around here, it's about $80/day). The usually provide transportation and are open for a full day--from 7 or 8 in the a.m. until late afternoon. At one point my husband went 5 days/week, providing me with a good bit of respite time. If you have not tried a day program, you may want to think about it to buy some time before placement.
I cannot emphasize enough the need to read and understand every detail of a LTC policy. If you have questions, call the insurance company. I have seen many caregivers who lose out on potential benefits because they waited too long start using their LO's policy.