Ohhh...what next??? Just got a letter from the VA and because of the VA doctor reports show the worsening of his AD condition and that he may be incompentent they state they can appoint a fiduciary to take over his VA pension and distribution of the funds.
How the heck to I prove that he isn't incompentent when he is. They have the info from the payments made by medicare for his Hospice care and the Visting nurses association which all indicate he is incompentent.
They will take his VA pension and distribute it as they see fit for his care. What the hell is a wife for??? I am so upset I am beside myself. They can't even put grab bars in the bathroom that were ordered over 3 months ago...and they want to distribute money for his care?? Give me a break.
JudithKB--I know nothing about VA but I'd be on the phone asking questions pronto. This might be their variation of a DPOA or Guardianship. If you have either of those this may be a paperwork hoop.
I know...I didn't pick up the mail until late today...but, tomorrow I will call his VSO (Vet Service Officer)... I am so upset about this I want to raise hell....but, I think I need to cool off before I even begin to respond to them. If need be we have a very good attorney that did our trust and he also is an expert in Veteran affairs so I will get an appt. with him. I don't see how they can do that without some reason telling them there has been an abuse of his pension...which there hasn't. In fact, we have saved 95% of it because I knew we might need it if he were to be placed in ALF.
JudithKB, CALM down and take a deep breath. I got the same papers last year. I, as his wife, am his fuduciary. It will not be a problem for you to be appointed. I just sent in a response that I wrote out on my husband's behalf stating that he wanted to appoint me as his fiduciary. I had him sign it. It was as if the letter was written and signed by him. It stated that I was the one that handled all monetary affairs and was his PRI art caregiver. Honestly, it was no problem. If he didn't have you, then they WOULD have to appoint someone. Someone from the VA came to our home and we filled out some forms and I was walked through the process. I did have to open a separate account for direct deposit because you cannot mix that money with any other monies or accounts. It is to be used for his needs exclusively. There is a whole list of things you will be given that you can use it for.....food, electric bill, any of his supplies etc. They just want to be sure that he is not trying to handle money if they feel that he is not able. It WILL be OK. Hope this helps!
Now I have alarms going off...what or when does the VA get into your affairs like this? Is it when the LO is in a NH or ALF? My hubby also has VA and now I need to look a the trusts..is it in this document where he would need to have appointed me to manage all the monetary issues? So far I don't have any in home help or health aides etc...is then when they get in your business and mess with you? Like you, Judith, I have been building in a "buffer " amount in the direct deposits that he gets ( they go into a joint checking account) and they are used to pay household bills, gasoline, etc. I never log in the check register the full amount of his direct deposits..the funds are there but for all intents and purposes, only a part of it is used and I make sure we never go through it all and as a result I have built up so far about 10K which we never see....like you, it is just in case we need it for HIM....And I try to save my DFAS funds ( my retired pay which is a good deal less than his) so if his is used for a NH I can have something built up to pay taxes and household bills...Will the kids get much of an inheritance? Not bloody likely!
The funds in this joint account are direct deposits from VA, SS and DFAS. I have been paying the bills for the past 3 years..and I have paid all taxes from my funds not his...Lord the govt is nosey.
The government is nosey because this is money distributed by the government. They have to ensure that if people are deemed incompetent to handle the money given to them by the government then another responsible person is put in charge of the funds, and use of the funds is reported. There is lots of financial abuse of people with dementia.
I can't comment on VA but I can comment on SS. When my wife was awarded SSDI (for TBI and FTD) she was deemed incompetent to handle the money and I, the husband, was made the fuduciary. So, by law the money must go into a bank account that my wife cannot access and I send in a report once a year on how I spent the money. The form is extremely simple to fill out. With SS it is very common for the fuduciary to be the spouse.
This protects my family. My wife still has access to other accounts (though I have minimized this by moving most of the money to accounts that she cannot access). If she suddenly wanted to take out all of the money as cash and start giving it to strangers on the street (I've heard stories like this one) at least she can't touch the SSDI money nor our son's SSDI money.
And you are not required to spend the money. If you use your funds to pay for his care and save his funds (this is what I do) then you just report this is the case. The government wants to know he is being cared for. So you probably don't have to make any changes to how you are handling it.
Thank you for your responses. Wonderful, if it is no real problem which one could not tell by the letter I got at all. However, just the very fact that I now have to take time to respond and be interviewed by another person and report what I spend is a pain in the ass that I don't need at this time with my dh getting worse by the week.
Like I said, the VA can't get grab bars to my home in 3 months and they are concerned about this? They can't provide me the 24 weekly in home help support that I am entitled to and I need because they don't have enough people trained and I am on a waiting list and get only 12 hours.
Also, am having a problem with my Ca. taxes that I can't get questions answered regarding my refund that I have never received and they are claiming I owe them $29.00. I finally just paid the $29.00 so I don't have to spend hours on the phone trying to get this problem solved.
I know I am on my pity pot, but I just don't need all this extra stuff going on at this time.
I understand about how every little thing asked of you being a burden. I feel the same way. Again, I don't deal with the VA but dealing with the SSA over fuduciary has been very, very simple. I know it sounds scary because it sounds like they are going to appoint someone other than you to be the fuduciary. Again, I doubt it but if that is the case do post again so someone with VA experience can help you.
As to why the VA is doing this but hasn't gotten the grab bars in your home? It is a large organization and the part responsible for the grab bars has nothing to do with acting on the doctor's recommendation that there be a fuduciary. The history of the VA has been one of underfunding, which results in all sorts of problems, including the VA breaking the law in various ways (this is based on old news from when L used to work for a veteran advocacy organization over a decade ago).
My biggest pain in these regards have been with my state unemployment office. Since I hire caregivers as my employees I need to pay for unemployment insurance. The Federal govt makes it very easy for household employees, I make the payment as part of my federal income tax return. On the state level it was a nightmare. I didn't realize that it wasn't part of the income tax return (TurboTax made it seem that it was). So I had to call the employment commission (which took a lot of time, and the web site wouldn't let me do it online) and it took me weeks to reach someone, and then the person sent me the forms and I ended up paying over $1,800 for unemployment insurance, most of that was penalties for late filing. I later found out that I overpaid by over $600. Ironically I live in a state run by conservatives that talk about eliminating "unnecessary" antibusiness regulatory stuff but refuse to spend the money to make things easier for individuals and businesses. If the feds can do it, why not our state govt.
The damn VA has yet to decide on my DH's claim for IHD. I started this 2 years ago this month and am still waiting for them...when I call I get the run around.."fª•ºªº•ª•ªº•ºªº••ºª•ªºªº•ing bureaucrats. And they ( the govt) want to run healthcare....but that's another topic for another day.
I don't think conservative or liberal, state or federal - the all like paperwork. Must make them feel in control. Remember when computers were put in offices they touted how less paperwork there would be! - Huh - there is just as much or more.
Sorry you people are having such a headache with the VA. It makes me cringe wondering if I will have the same at some point. I keep thinking how easy it was to get my FIL into the VA after my MIL died. Yes, he had to go in the back door through the pysch ward, but there was no problem. Maybe it was cause there was no one to take care of him anymore.
ms magic....kept you guessing didn't I with my spelling?? LOL Wish someone had pointed that out to me earlier...Oh, well...others could read my code. Thank you friend for pointing it out.
Faye..Thanks for all the info. WoW....so glad we went to an Certified Elder Attorney and had trusts done a couple of years ago. One of the Trust is in my name only and it is basically for his care. I have been moving money into this account for the past year and will do more on Monday that is left in one small savings account.
Maybe I should change the house title into my name only and the car. I don't know if that will make any difference or not. I may need to call our attorney on Monday.
The main social worker and I have been communicating for weeks now trying to get things he needs. She is very helpful and we have a great communication line between us. It has been some new employees t who have screwed up the "grab bars"...and she called and has it all fixed now and someone should be here this next week.
Any other info you have would be appreciated. Thanks so much. My dh can't even sign his name.
@ Judith: I just thought it was a term I hadn't encountered before! I asked DH - believe me, he can't tell me what month it is, or what he had for breakfast, but he remembers everything from his CPA and law school days. Go figure.
All of this paperwork and the terms are quite intimidating to me.
I am the world's worse speller. I always contribute it to the fact that when I was in school and you start learning to spell it was a time when they didn't teach phonics....what ever educator thought that was a good idea was really mistaken. I have quit being upset with anyone that wants to correct my spelling... I am really amazed that I could have held some of the great jobs I had with this handicap.... I have lots of those "terms" that others haven't encountered....those are my little secret terms...heheh
I think I have read that with AD people they first start with short term memory loss, then as the condition gets worse they start to not remember things further back in their life. It is one way to kind of test how much of their memory is gone. My dh can no longer remember his mother's name...so he has gone way back now.. of course, they hold some of these things loosely and will remember them sometimes and not at other times.
As to POA, I found out that many pension accounts will not accept a POA, they demand their own paper work, so if your spouse has a 401K or IRA or pension fund you should find out if they require anything beyond a POA. I guess the VA is the same.
The VA is sounding very different from SSA when it comes to funduciaries from the discussion here.
One question, who tells the VA or SS that your LO is incompetent? As far as I know this has not been done with regard to my DH and I don't intend to blab it to them....
WE had trusts done by elder care attorneys. I still need to get his name off of things that are mine only..such as my checking accounts. His account into which his funds are direct deposit were always joint..I guess I have some unfinished business....I need to make copies of the trusts to give to the different banks..
Mimi...This is what the letter said: "The treatment records, dated May 4, 2012, June 28, 2012 and Jul2012 show you may not be able to handle financial affairs due to Alszheimer's"
Then it goes on to say...they must find out if this is true and if it is a fiduciary must be appointed.
Well of course it is true and the last time he was at the VA doctor he couldn't sign his name. He was asked a number of questions regarding...what month is it...your address....telephone number...things like that and he just drew a blank on all of them.
Big brother at work....I keep excellent records and our Elder Attorney set up a seperate trust in my name where money can be placed and it is for his care and I have to report to the Trustee what is spent out of that account....that is no big deal...because I have never spent a thing out of that account or maybe something real minor...so minor I can't recall right now. When he took this turn for the worse several months ago, I immediately took most of the funds out of the account that had direct deposit for his VA payment and put the funds in this Special Trust. I am so glad I did that....because it clearly states....these funds are for his care.
There is no way I could hide his condition from the VA because of the medications he takes and we get them through the VA and the VA has done oral testing and an MRI. Also, the VA social worker has been working with me for help that I get to take care of him. Also, the VA did testing when they raised his disability to 100%.
You may want to re-think trying to get the change in the 100% because they will probably require testing. or at least be prepared to be another one on "Big Brother's" list. Catch 22.
Mimi, in our case, I was the one who started the ball rolling with Social Security. A friend of mine suggested that I get control of his money so I called & found out what I had to do. I now wish that I would have never pursued that. My DH never wrote any checks & I don't even think he knew how to use a debit card. When he wanted money I always gave him a few dollars. As people here have said, the paper work is easy to do, but it's just one more thing to think about.
Vickie - not being able to read signatures seems to be the norm now. I would say 80% of the signatures from when people check-in at the park can not be read. Many are just a line. You might be able to read the first letter, but the rest forget it. So your husband's signature is more the norm than you think.
My dh has his IRA with an insurance company and it is in his name only. I am thinking of him having it totally withdrawn and placing it in this special Trust account. The major problem is taxes would kill us for one year, but it might be worth doing. I have 60 days to respond to the VA letter and if I should do this I want to do it before I respond to the letter. Any comments or suggestions welcomed.
Faye...., When you report the amount of funds used annually for his care do you get to include any pay for yourself for working all three shifts?
"One question, who tells the VA or SS that your LO is incompetent? As far as I know this has not been done with regard to my DH and I don't intend to blab it to them...."
In the case of SS it depends on why SS is granted. If we are talking about SSI (retirement income) I don't know why SSA would ever know. In the case of SSDI for us younger folks, that was determined in our case at the time the SSDI was granted. I assume that any medical or disability benefits that involve dementia or brain injury sets off a red flag in the SSA offices and usually results in requiring the appointment of a fiduciary.
In the case of L the same information that was used to determine that she was eligible for SSDI was also used to determine that she needed a fiduciary. When SSDI was granted for L the letter mentioned an fiduciary, I contacted my SSA contact and was told of course I could be the fiduciary, and that the income would have to be direct deposited into a bank account that L could not touch and that this money should not be commingled with any other money and I would have to fill out a form once a year. I state the amount of her SSDI income that went towards house, food, and medical (perhaps something else). I asked if I could just save the money (thinking of using it for eventual LTC) and they said of course, I just need to state on the form that I am using other monies to take care of housing, food and medical. I do not need permission for any spending and I don't report on any money except for the SSDI income.
I think getting control of the money is important. I have heard so many nightmares, from the person with dementia giving away/spending money on their own, to other people getting the person with dementia to give them money. Of course there are ways of having control without going the fiduciary route (such as hiding all banking information from your spouse).
JudithKB, I don't know anything about how the IRA affects VA benefits and it might be worth a talk with an eldercare attorney. If your medical costs are very high this year then taxes might not be that much of an issue. But I think you should talk with someone who deals with this stuff to see if you can get around paying taxes.
I don't think the IRA would have any affect on medical costs because he have excellent insurance. Medicare as well as Blue Cross and my dh gets everything from the VA at no costs to us because he has been declared 100% disabled from service connected issues as well as not being able to work.
I am no longer concerned about my dh getting control of anything he has little to no knowledge or understanding about most anything and wouldn't have the foggest idea how to do anything. He basically is housebound and sleeps 18 to 20 hours a day. Can't say more then 3 to 6 words and after that it is just mush.
If you read my comments above to MIMI...you will understand how they found out about my dh and started this ball rolling. Basically, it was from doctor reports.
My DH disability is related to his military service and exposure to AO. HE HAS diabetes and IHD and vascular disease for which he is being rated..has been rated at 80% . His ss is just the regular retired ss. I have no intention of getting the VA involved. We would have to go to LA WHICH is too far. So maybe I have no worries. Out of his pay I pay the household bills, grocery etc. I don't buy things for myself...I.e. clothes etc like that save for Vhristmas or my birthday. I bought myself a pretty ring for our 35 th anniversary. He wanted to pay for it so I did put a small amount to it and he thinks he went shopping for it himself and is so proud of his gift .
Interesting you mention getting those things you need done or just need like the chair...I am doing some of this now and it is bigger bucks but needs done..like upgrading some electrics in the kitchen, replacing some light fixtures that are old and coming apart..I have fought for this for some time and now I still get an argument but win anyway...and getting some house repairs done..need windows...I mean these things are not exactly what you would call nice to have things...they are needed!!! And it comes mostly from his funds. AS to how well he is to be looked after, in MY trust, it says that should anything happen to me , as in I quit my job here and get a cloud and find all my pets on the Rainbow Bridge first, all my funds, and they are pretty good as of now and not touched either, are to be used for him, for his care to include but not limited to care of the home, repairs, clothing for him etc and accounts must be kept and my Elder Care Attorney is in charge of recording expenses...etc...So that ought to shut the nosey Govt bureaucrats up should it ever come to this...I have done all I could to look out for his interests...whereas if I outlive him, I am the one who could face living under a bridge and dining on roadkill. If he goes first, the kids get nada until I also go to heaven....and now to work on the gift list..let's see, who should get my hope diamond? Oh, that's right, none of them....and my wedding rings...hummmmm that goes with me.....and well I want that pink mausoleum with stained glass windows and comfy chairs so people who come to "visit" will have a place to sit...oh yes, and a place for the ashes of my wonderful faithful cats....If it is good enough for Kate Smith of " when the moon comes over the mountain" fame, it is good enough for me too!! :)❤
Looks like we got the bases covered. This first look at that letter from the VA was so insulting to me when I have done everything to make my dh safe and sound as can be and earlier on tried to fill his bucket list to the best of my ability and then thinking the VA wanted to take over. I am sure it will all work out and be OK.
Ladies I am a veteran (Vietnam era) as well as my DH. My experience with any difficulities with the VA have been handled by making calls to the local chapter of the Disabled Veterans Association.. If you or your spouses are not member, contact your local chapter today for an application. They can speed any claims along. Also contact your local Rep or Congressman. They have staff in their offices that are trained to help cut any red tape with the VA. I would really contact them about the grab bars. Once the bars were approved, they should have been installed within 3 to 7 days. JudithKB you will be the fudicuary, just find out what paperwork they want you to fill out. I know that this is just one more thing for us to have to deal with, but what the heck, we just deal don't we?
Thanks for your suggestions. Yes, my dh is a member of the DVA. I will readily admit I probably over-reacted. I will send the info to them tomorrow after I fill out the form they sent.
dancyn, you need to consult with an elder law attorney to discuss your options. Everyone's situations are different. The attorney can also prepare all the legal documents you might need.