Recently DH was in a local nursing home for respite. He is still fairly independent, but obviously needs some help. The two things I specifically asked for were that he be given his meds when he needed them and to remind him daily to put water in his CPAP humidifier. In nearly three weeks, he was reminded about water in the humidifier about three times. The meds were a nightmare. They were given at strange times (pills that were supposed to be taken with a meal were given at the same time as pills that were to be taken an hour before meals), given hours late, or "forgotten". DH has a pancreatic tumor, so he needs meds periodically for nausea. One day he rang repeatedly for this medication. They would come to his room and turn off his bell, but not give the meds. This went on for quite a long period of time. By the time they finally brought his pills, he was so sick he couldn't go to lunch, and was sick for the rest of the day. This got a call from me to the director of nursing. I finally gave up and brought him home early because the care was so bad.
Is this typical nursing home care? I don't have much to compare it to. I've heard people talk about caregivers keeping their loved ones at home too long because "they think nobody can take care of their loved ones like they can". Well, if this is nursing home care, I agree. I'm terrified that one day DH will need comprehensive care, and will wind up in somewhere like this. Even if you check out a place, you can be surprised. This place kept saying: "no problem, we can do that, of course we'll do that"….right up until he actually needed them to do something.
What is an adequate standard of care? I know he won't get the care he gets here, but this seemed like neglect to me. When do you let it go, and when do you scream and yell?
That is absolutely positively NOT adequate care. When our LO's are placed in a facility, we become what is called "Care Managers". We shouldn't have to be, but we are. This means that we sit down with the head honcho, write up a care plan and have everyone sign it. As soon as something is not done or done improperly, we have to bring it to their attention, pointing it out in the care plan, and insisting that it be taken care of. We have to be vigilant and persistant.
Refer to this blog - http://www.thealzheimerspouse.com/Primeroncaregivermeetings.htm
Jan, your experience is too familiar to me and brings back all sorts of angst. If I had it to do over again, I would try to wait for the one or two good care homes that I knew about. (They had 1-year-waiting lists.) Unfortunately, some times things get so bad and so quickly that you have to take what you can get. Also, good administration, or staff, can change, and a facility with a deservedly good reputation can come under new ownership who havr a different agenda (fill in the blank with $ signs). A good Director of Nursing can retire and be replaced with a poor one. It's a crap shoot, and you do best you can. At least you know you won't be going back to this one, and in the meantime, ask around (maybe start with a social worker at your community health centre) and see if you can learn of better ones. There are governing bodies for standards of care in facilities. I'm sorry to say that here in Vancouver, Canada, from 2008-2011, I found them ineffective. My best bet was my local Member of Parliament. All of this is a hassle, of course. Sorry.
Sounds like ALF in Mich,they operate virtually "at will" very few rules an they answer to noone,when I tried to have them investigated by the state,the one doing the investigation took the ALF at their word an dismissed anything I said or the paper work I had to prove my point
Jan, of course this is sorely inadequate care and they should be reported. When DH was hospitalized last year, the attending psychiatrist told us that in most skilled nursng facilities (hospitals/NH's) the doctors recommend that all pills be given at the same time (once a day) so the nursing staff doesn't screw up the schedule and give too many/too few pills at the designated intervals. I was shocked to hear this because DH's med schedule is every 6 hours. The doctor said the nurses are generally too busy so having the pills given once a day ensures the patient gets the pills they need. It's only going to get worse.
That once a day fits all is unacceptable. I can see all meds being given at the same schedule-be it 1,2,3 or 4 times a day-but surly not all at one time.
It is more common than not here in Vancouver, Canada - and deplorable! - that the meds are left at the patient's bedside for him/her to take. "I'm too busy to stand and watch a patient take his pills." The fact that the nurse then charts that she has given them is against the law, but the people in charge just pooh-pooh any complaints. I once found 27 pills on my husband's bathroom counter, a weekend's accumulation. When I showed the Director of Nurses, she put them all in her pocket and said, "Oh, don't worry about it. Every thing's okay." These pills included ones for B.P., Flomax, Aricept, Tylenol, a high-priced bone-builder, etc. etc. So we have a good doctor ordering the best of medications that I pay for ending up in the garbage, and a patient in an expensive care facility bed not being treated.
Oh, this scares me. He isn't far away from going to the home. We live right across the street from the home though and I know how to leave no stone unturned as far as his medical people - I think. Of course one never knows. Unimaginable situations have a way of turning up. And I would call giving all his medications at one time unimaginable! I can hardly believe this really happened. It reminds me of the way it must have been back in the early 1900's in the dormitories for the insane. Which our dear ones are not. What is there to do about it?