Just another thing to get information on today. I had thought sooner then later I would be placing my dh in ALF where he stayed when I took respite for two weeks. Well since his down hill slide places him in the category for the most care in the facility which increases the cost to me between $1,500 to $2,000 per month and just places it financially out of reach.
I had thought of placing him in a VA nursing home which would be no cost to me. I am told by several people who have done service at these nursing homes that the care is not that good because of the ratio of help to patient. Also, I was told that they bring them their meals and if the person doesn't eat...they just take it away...no personal feeding...and forget watching them if they have a problem swallowing. In addition, these homes are approx. a 45 min to hour drive each way in heavy Ca. traffic from where I live.
Today I have taken another position after talking with the VA social worker. She strongly suggest I look into the Board and Care homes which have a max. of 6 people and are privately owned and operated under California law. They operate out of private homes and there are like 3 or 4 of these homes within blocks of where I live.(what a surprise to me). The cost would be something like $2,000 per month which I could afford for a couple of years.
Does anyone have their spouses in one of these Board and Care homes? If so, what do you think about the home? Any comments will be greatly appreciated.
I had DH in a 6-pack in CA for a few months only while he was taking some treatments. It was about an hour away and since there were twin beds in his room, I could stay there on occasion, no charge, but I have no idea how other owners would act. He wasn't that far along yet, but it worked for us. The owners were very agreeable, and most of the other patients were OK, but one man was turning violent. When I was there I'd try to help, to feed him, but he'd swing at me--or anyone, so I stayed out of arm's reach. It wasn't too long before that man was confined to bed and the family would come by. I didn't know enough at the time to know what was going on. One night there was a problem w/DH & they called 911 immediately and it all worked out OK. He was unable to use their phone, but they'd call me when he wanted to talk to me. They are monitored, it was clean, I felt safe, there was a nice patio & we could go to a nearby center for ice cream, whatever. I'd think it would depend on what stage the patient is in and how much care he needs, but the ambiance is much nicer than a facility--just more homey. I don't know what their regulations are about giving meds & monitoring people, I think the violent man was finally on meds. I'm sure the owners had some sort of certification, but don't know how much medical training they need or have. Can't speak for any other 6-pack, but this one was good for us.
Thanks Betty...I would think they could give meds....most people take meds. The ones I am thinking about are so darn close I could go there twice a day to give him his meds myself. Haven't seen them yet...just wanted to get information from others for possible questions I should ask, etc.
Here they call them Adult Foster Homes, but may also be called what you were told. Like nursing homes and AL, there are good and bad. You will need to check them out to see and visit more than once at different times. And then that is no guarantee. When my sister put my mom in one, she went from feeding herself to needing help. Seems they did not like cleaning up the mess she made so they fed her. Then they parked them all in front of the TV watching soaps. My sister visited a couple times before and they were doing things with the women there, but not after placing my mom. When she put her husband in one for some respite he got good care but the 'house parents' were from Hungary or something like that. They fixed fancy meals which my bil wanted just basic meat and potatoes. They thought all Americans wanted fancy meals!!
Just check them out, ask lots of questions and try to see if there is a way to contact families of those there past and present.
My husband was in both an ALF and a nursing home. The care he received in the nursing home left a lot to be desired. He received much better care in the ALF. Several men there were totally covered by the VA. DH's ALF had a separate secure AD unit. There were only 38 people there. The care was good. He enjoyed the food very much. He loved ice cream and could have it when ever he wanted. That was a big thing for him. I would choose the ALF if I had to do it all over again.
I am planning on sending Sid to a Alzheimer Care Home for respite when I go away in November. They have room for 5 or 6 residents. As everyone said, there are good and bad in all types of facilities. Word of mouth is the best indicator. Talk to people who have had their LO in one of the homes you are considering. There are some issues with the one I chose that would prevent me from placing him there long term - lack of activities and a no walk in shower (which I was assured was going to be changed), but I am familiar with the owner, so I am sure it will be fine for a week's respite.