I have discovered something that might be beneficial to others.
When I want a specific behavior out of my wife i have stopped saying "you MUST do this" or "You HAVE TO to do that" or even "Please DONT do that!"
I have started telling her "You WANT to do this". "You WANT to take a shower" "You WANT to get dressed" "You WANT to put that down" "You WANT to give that to me"
I found out early on that this worked out better with DH.He didn't like to be told what to do and this seemed to give him a choice. The words don't.no,can't always made him angry.
Sounds like a great idea. My DH often gets angry and says he doesn't like me "ordering him around". I have the most trouble with the pill I give him in the evening even when I try to "jolly" him into taking it. He finally says OK I'll take your stupid pill. Guess I have to convince him "he" wants to take it.
Dh has been pretty agreeable with things like pills, shots, etc. Sometimes I will say, "you need to take your meds now." I don't tend to say "you HAVE to."
He's mellowed a lot in the last 6 months, I would say. I hope it stays this way, because his temper really upsets me.
Does anyone have any hints on keeping dh from shaving more than once? I have to stand right beside him and urge him to start the shower water. One night he shaved three times in a row. Tonight I caught him before he started to put shaving creme on again. I even showed him the remainder of the previous shaving creme and he did start the shower but was not too happy about it.
how about two razors - one with a blade, one without. After he does the real shaving switch them. That way if he does it again he will not be irritating his skin from the blade.