DH has been doing so well, except for the walking, which is a lot of shuffling. He goes to bed around 6:00, and past few nights he was been waking up in a couple of hours, and not knowing where he is; asking about the car, where is it, etc...Tonight he got up, put his clothes on and said he had to go see about the car. I tried to dissuade him and re-direct - didn't work. He walked perfectly normal down the stairs when it normally takes him forever, unlocked the double-locked doors in the kitchen - which he rarely can do- and walked to our detached garage, opened the door. I followed him. He asked me for the key to the car! He hasn't driven in almost 8 years! I told him I didn't have it with me and we needed to get inside since it was getting dark. He got angry, but did come back inside, walked upstairs, undressed and got back in bed. But for the past 1/2 hour he has been asking me about the car, who all drives it, and since it's not my car, he can drive it if he wants to! This has never been a problem - he gave me his keys when he quit driving.
I'm just concerned that this is another downward spiral, and if he is starting to wander, I don't know what I will do. He has a doctor's appt. in the morning and I've written the doctor a letter explaining what happened tonight. I had already faxed him a letter about the not knowing where he is at night and not recognizing our house sometimes.
I know the driving issues have been discussed a lot here and I've read them all. Has anyone had it come up years later after they haven't driven?
Vickie,my husband hasn't driven for two years and even before that only locally and with me in car. Now all of a sudden he is arguing with me he wants to drive. I sleep with the keys,he does get up at night and not know where he is. Our garage is attached and I always lock the door but several times I got up and the door was unlocked,so I know he is getting up and going in the garage. I still have his truck in the garage and I know he had a key hidden somewhere in it but I can't find it and only hope he doesn't.I would like to sell the truck but once in awhile I need to use it.He doesn't always recognize our home but always knows the barns are ours.They are filled with his junk from all the sales he had gone too.I would like to sell some things but he is very possessive and will not let a thing go. Is anyone else's LO so possessive of their things?He checks the garbage all the time to be sure nothing of his is in it.Very frustrating.
yhouniey, you can have a guy disconnect a wire in the truck engine and it won't start. (Don't ask me which wire, maybe the Distributor Cap?) (Rememer the scene in The Sound Of Music when the nuns did that to the Gestapo soldiers when the vonTrappe's were escaping?) If his truck won't start, he'll be stopped and I'm sure he'd never think you had done anything to the engine.
vickie, sounds a bit like he may be obsessing over this like poor jean21's DH did about the parking spot! aww. yes its frustrating to be sure.. maybe the dr will add something to his mix for paranoia? all else fails i would put a lock on the door to the garage. we just cant underestimate these guys. they can be very resourceful when we least expect it. good luck at the drs. divvi
My dh had not driven for two years but I had not hidden the keys. Then in April, he was adamant about going to work and driving there. I don't think he would know how to get there but it was enough for me to hide all the car keys in my purse. Most of the time I lock the car doors as well. Dr. started him on low dose of Paxil which calmed him down a lot. So far I haven't had to increase the dosage. Cars seem to be their lifeline and they keep reverting to the desire for driving. Dh's drivers license comes up for renewal next month. My son says to just let it expire. DH can keep the old one in his wallet for ID.
Just when we think things are on an even plateau, something happens to jolt us to realize that we can never let our guard down.
I have hidden the real car keys but he has some keys in his pocket which seem to satisfy him for now anyway. He does have the real house key which may be a problem in the future I'll have to watch as his behavior can change "on a dime".
Sorry to hear this, Vickie. You handled tonight's dilemma so well!
Driving hasn't been an issue, as DH hasn't driven in more than a decade, due to MS. He couldn't get into the driver's seat of the van! In that way, I am fortunate -- one less issue.
He even gave up his driver license this year, when it was time to renew. I told him he could not take an oath that there was no impediment to his driving, because it would be dishonest.
I hope your doctor has some insight and solutions for you.
Well, after telling me he was disappointed in me since I had taken him for everything he had - and took all his "things" - the last 1/2 hour he has been back to his 'normal'. Even asked me what time his doctor's appointment was in the morning! Our PCP is good - so I hope he will give him something that will help. He also told me he loved me and thanked me for taking such good care of him!
Thanks so much for all your support! Love you all.
Yes, after being agreeable about not driving for several years, Jeff started to include "wanting to buy a car" (or a truck) in his obsessions, agitations, and delusions. It was, in our case, a piece of what turned into a rapid downhill slide.
Vickie -- so sorry to hear about the car dilemma. It's always such a mystery -- why do they have moments where they can almost be normal? If we only had answers. At least it' s good to know that he tells you he loves you and thanks you for taking care of him. I wish my DH would at least say that -- I'm afraid he always took me for granted and still does. I'll be praying that this was an isolated incident and that the doctor's visit goes well -- take care of yourself!
Dado has not driven in just over a year, a bit longer. He never asks though I can tell he misses it.Some months ago I got up at 3 am to see him pulling up the driveway in the car, almost running in to the truck. Well, the keys are of course hidden well now. he never asks to drive....except when the Respite lady was here last week, she said he asked him constantly where the truck keys were.
I also have told him , when he starts to get out of hand, that I can only take care of him so much, if it is too much he will have to live "elsewhere" Of course I do not know if he understands this, but it calms him for the moment.
That is exactly what I have told my dh the few times he started to get out of hand....and it seemed to work every time. I told him that if his behavior continued it would be too much for me to take care of him and he would have to live "elsewhere". Even though he understood very little...he always seems to understand what that means.
Vickie, your second post here sounds so much like my husband. One minute he's upset, the next a complete turnaround. It's so difficult to keep my mood in sync with his, but I try to. It's so stressful....
His car had not been driven for months and as it sat it the garage the battery died and two tires went soft. His wanting to drive was only sporadic but I had no idea when it might happen. Because of the car's condition it was not too much of a concern for him to sit in the driver's seat and turn the key because nothing would happen and I would usually say "I'll call someone out tomorrow", and that worked.
I was more concerned that he would want to drive my car. I would sleep with my handbag next to my bed. My keys and mobile under the pillow. The few times he wanted to drive my car I would say that I would get it started for him. I would sit and of course "nothing" happened when I "tried" to start it. I said the same thing- have to have someone come out and it was quickly forgotten.
Do you have a remote to open the garage door? I hid those and since the garage door could also be operated by the thingy on the visor I trusted that he would not remember which button controlled which function and it seemed to work out.
That does not mean I was not scared as **** every time he was serious about wanting to drive.
As mentioned above, I too, locked and armed the door that goes from the kitchen to the pantry and the one from the pantry to the garage.
Good luck with the appointment tomorrow- sending kind thoughts-
Vickie, I know that you were frightened. Any time they start behaving in a manner that is not what they have settled into, can be very disturbing. You did a good job of handling this. I do not know about unhooking a wire, but I do know that you can give them phoney keys or if he is adamant go to the lock smith and get a key plate for the model of your car but not cut the plate. It will not insert or operate the vehicle. One of my friends had her DH's truck filed down so that it was smooth and he could only sit in the truck. Remember, this too shall pass.
Vickie: I suspect something triggered DH to reach back into the past and this is just an AD addled brain's attempt to maintain some degree of independenceand what used to be. You know the game all too well, you've had more that your share of experience. Your DW or DH comes up with an irrational request, you go into diversion mode, fiblets, whatever it takes to divert their attention to something else My favorite fiblet, “help me, I need you, help me!” I've found that asking for her help when she is frightened or on a "rant" as I call events like yours, gets DW's attention immediately. Just feeling her wanted and needed distracts her from her irrational thoughts and back into the world of trying to contribute and help out. You know they mean no ill will when the berate us. it hurts but ignore it.
Well, my post disappeared! Dr. prescribed Lorazepam, .5 mg. 1/2 to 1 tablet at bedtime. I was so tired I forgot to ask the doctor whether I should start at the 1/2 tablet, and if I should give it to him just after dinner, since he gets in bed by 6 p.m. Guess I'll play it by ear. Since DH has never, ever been angry at me or anything since being DX'd, it was such a surprise and caught me off-guard.
Yes, Marty, I know they don't mean it, but it did hurt. But I've let it go now.
Vikki DW takes Lorazapan, Ativan generic, it's great for alleviating the sundowning hyperactivity she suffers with. I give her .5 or 1mg depending on her anxiety level. Possibly because we live in Fl and are on the beach nealy every day sundowning doesn't kick in to 6 or 7 pm at this time of year. I give DW Lorazapan @ 4:30 - 5:00 which more often than not, kicks in when the symptoms should be appearing and minimizes them
We turned off the gas line into the fireplace because he would turn off the wall switch to the fireplace and still not be able to turn on the T.V. . Our son came up with the solution as once when I was gone for a short time my DH got it so hot in here that he went down the block and got someone to come in and help turn it off.. When there is more than one switch on the wall he is scrambled. He also goes into the garage and "checks" out the vehicle and who knows what else. I keep all the keys on a chain on my purse. My purse confuses him and I don't think he could figure out which key to use. I let him think he is helping because it means so much to him. The "fiblets" technique is valuable!
Vickie, I have been reading your posts and hoping things will be better and stay that way. You are a great caregiver and always seem to know what to do. Keep on keeping on!
Gave him his first Lorazapan around 6 p.m. He went to bed - and I don't think he moved all night! Was alert this morning and after having our coffee in bed, got up, dressed and I shaved him; just ate breakfast and he's ready to 'go to work' at the ALZ center. Sure hope this will work with him.
Thanks, Jean, all we can do is keep on keeping on!
vickie thats excellent news. i have always proclaimed for me ativan *lorazapam* the marvel drug for us as well. it puts DH in a happy place with just a minimum dose. TG! divvi
Well, now he is starting the sundowning earlier in the afternoon! Last couple of days have been pretty bad. Not wandering though. Our PCP is out of town until later this week. Was wondering if anyone has any thoughts of my giving him 1/2 dose around noon, then the regular .5 mg at bedtime. The bedtime one seems to be working well, but it's the afternoons now that have kicked in in high gear!
Lorazepam does not accumulate in the body, so that .5 mg is likely wearing off long before the next evening dose. When DH was home, the Dr. had me giving up to 1 or 2mg total in day. When Hospice came aboard they said his comfort was more important and all the aggitation and anxiety certainly weren't good for him. I never had to use the full total of 10 mgs a day I was allowed, but he was way better with doses spread through the day--1 ea. am, noon, pm, and then 2 at night. Check with your Dr. but I bet added dosage will turn the trick.
Vickie, this is a rough stage for you! You can just try different dosages until you find the one for that day....it might change again tomorrow. It is a never-ending roller coaster for a few months, then he'll seem to settle down for a while - hopefully!
You getting a good night's sleep and not being too stressed during the day is the most important right now - while you still keep him safe from himself. They get agitated - sometime they will say their legs hurt. I don't know of any other way to relieve their agitation. I hope the new medication will work for him!
My post disappeared again! Anyway, I contacted his doctor son last night and he said it was ok to give the med around noon today, and we'll see what happens. He's at daycare this morning, but really didn't want to go - so we'll see. At least he and I are sleeping fairly well at night.
Gave him .5 mg at 1:00 p.m. - he was almost perfectly 'normal' all afternoon! No hallucinations, no delusions, no crazy talking! It was such a peaceful afternoon, I couldn't believe it! Went to bed at 6 p.m., and I'll give him another one when he wakes up (usually) in about 2 hours. Then, hopefully, he'll be down for the night. I hope this is our miracle med - at least for now.
Glad it helps Vickie!! Hope it continues, though you know..likely..a higher dose will be in the cards later.
When we had the up all night and heavy sundowning a few weeks ago, I was so nervous to up his dose of Seroquel. No sweat he tolerates it well, and at least at night it is quite a bit better, not perfect. I don't want to drug my guy, but, I will go nuts, and he may too from too much pacing.
Divvi if you read this, I am pretty sure now that his constant going pee IS NOT infection. He has been on an antibiotic for Prostatitis for two weeks now, and the Tamsulosin he takes makes the stream more steady. but noooooo...still thinks he has to pee. It is getting now to where I say NO, and turn him around before he heads for the toilet.
good news coco. at least if he did have prostatitis the meds have helped him thru that. prostatitis can give them the sensation to 'go' more than usual. maybe it will subside now. you are doing a good job! divvi
Vickie, I too hope it's your miracle med and you can get a good nights sleep. My doctor told me last week to use Benadryl after I told him I had been taking ExcedrinPM. He said all the pills with PM after the name it is Benadryl and if you don't need the pill for pain Benadryl is cheaper and it's safe. I didn't sleep at all Saturday night (no surprise) so I took one lastnight and went to bed about 9.20 and slept until 5.50 this morning. I didn't even get up to go the bathroom which is most unusual so I am wondering if it helped that being it's an anti-histamine. Whatever I will take another one tonight.
Jean21. the major side effect of the antihistamine Benedryl is that it causes sleepiness. its use as a sleep aide is exploiting its side effect. HOWEVER IT IS NOT recommended FOR AD patients it alters brain chemistry and may cause hallucinations in the AD patient
Marty, Fortunately I don't have AD ;-) I know all meds aren't the right one for all people I just hope people will check with their doctor before giving an AD patient any kind of med.
And does everyone know that the new OTC med, zzzzQuil is the same as Benedryl? There's some long unpromouncable word that is the sole ingredient in both.