First off, more hugs and prayers for our sweet Nikki! I'd keep my candle lit more if I wasn't so afraid Lloyd would find a way to burn the house down! He has been awful the last 2 days...just mean and aggressive. It started with his dr, appt yesterday. He hadn't had his blood checked for his coumadin for about 6 months so I had to get out there before his appt with the dr. or seeing the dr. would have been pointless. His blood work was fine and the doctor was so nice about not having bloodwork done as it should be. He said how could I come with Lloyd the way he is. He said he would see him in a year and just bring him in whenever I can to get his blood checked. He even inquired as to whether I had help at home and I assured him that I did. I had intended to get lunch and take him to see his parents but that plan went straight to hell. I got him in the car and then the battle ensued over the seatbelt. Had to leave him in the front because moving him to the back with child locks could have made things worse. He swung at me all the way home, cracking me in the head once. I smacked his fingers and said in my "stern mommy" voice "don't do it". We got home and in the house fine. The 17-yr-old grandson was home so there would have been no problems. On the azspouse site I had said I was done with his family and after that little joy ride yesterday, I decided to tell them so. I called his parents house and told his dad I probably wouldn't be bringing him over anymore because it was just getting to be too hard. (I love his dad...he is the only one in the immediate family that seems to have his head on straight. Dad said they would be over within the next few days. I could count on both hands the times they have come to visit in the last 17 years with fingers left over. The following things have pissed me off in the last few weeks: 1) When I told his mom I was concerned about his weight loss, she wanted his clothes that were too big for church, 2) When I had him out one night and called his brother at 8:15 to see if it was ok to stop over, he said no because his wife had to work in the morning, and 3) The last time I had to call the ambulance because of seizures, Lloyd's cousins were there before his parents or his one brother. I even told them if he were to pass there would be no efforts to revive him. The parents and brother had to wait for the SIL to get home for her to drive them when they drive themselves anywhere else they want to go. That took 3 hours. I was going to visit last Sunday after church and my daughter said, "Why? They never come to see him with him as sick as he is. When he is gone, they won't give a shit about you." What a revelation! So-o-o I am not going to do anything I don't want to outside this house. I don't know how I got so hung up on these other people because I really don't give a hoot if they like me or not. I just wanted to do the RIGHT THING. Pffft! So much for that. I have been keeping Lloyd in the house as much as possible because the heat and humidity outside make him so wretched!
Linda, so sorry Lloyd has been so aggressive. Please make sure you are careful-hitting you while driving (and you cannot defend yourself) is dangerous for you and the driving public. Perhaps he needs a med adjustment?
You're in good company here with those of us who have decided not to engage family members who either have abandoned us and our spouse or who have every excuse why they cannot help, visit, etc. Once I stopped resenting his family and decided they would no longer be in our lives (no notification when he passes), I felt a sense of freedom and could direct my energy somewhere positive.
Sid went nuts on me more than once in the car. It is a very dangerous situation. Please alert whatever doctor he sees for his Alzheimer's. Medication can help with the aggression. Sid's doctor was very concerned for my safety, and put him on Risperdal to calm him down. No incidents since then.
Oh, no need to worry. If he gets that much out of control, I will just pull over and wait it out or call one of the grandsons to come and help get him back with the child locks. I am trying to keep him on as little medication as possible. Any time the neuro prescribes, he slams him with 500mg to start. Our PCP starts low and we work up to where it is good but doesn't turn him into a zombie. I just tell myself if I were in his situation, there would be times I would be angry and frustrated and lashing out, too. If he gets bad at home, I just don't engage him in any way. He's locked in so there is no need to worry about him getting out. Joan, any side effects with the Risperdal?
My dh is on Risperdal also....He has no side effects and it really keeps him calm. His neuro has given me the OK to use what ever dose I think he needs at any given time. Right now he is on 1mg tab. cut in half each day....I have only increased it once and that was just for a couple of days and then went back to the original prescription. Also...do you have a prespriction for ativan...I rather use it to calm my dh down if and when needed. It works like wonders....Why do you concern yourself on how much meds. he is on?? I say whatever works to keep them calm...give it to them. It isn't like they are going to be on it forever. Just until they get calm and in the case of my dh until he passes....which probably will be sooner then later.
He probably doesn't enjoy being hateful...he just can't help it or control himself...so why not let the meds control him and it will be better for both of you. Just my opinion...and I am not the doctor...but, I bet that is what he would tell you to do....if you complained about his behavior.
JudithKB, I have had him on meds that turned him into a slobbering zombie. That is what I am trying to avoid. I think I will ask for some Ativan to be used as needed.
I know what you mean with some drugs making them zombie like. When the dr. upped his dosage of Reperdal he could hardly walk. That lasted for just a couple of days and I dropped his dosage back to the smaller dose and no problem after that. I like the ativan to control the few angry moods he has and only give him half of the dosage. And it seems to work fast and don't have to use it everyday. I am sure your doctor will help you find something to control his angry moods. It probably isn't healthy for either one of you.
The coumadin testing is an issue. L has the most unstable coumadin levels her doctor has ever seen so she needs a test every 2 weeks. The doctor knows of her condition so we do the testing at home instead of a lab. It's easy but expensive, it uses our medical deductible itself. But I wonder if your husband would allow you to prick his finger to get the necessary blood.
But with drug interactions affecting her blood clotting it was essential, otherwise she would have had a medical emergency at some point. I'm glad your husband's INR levels were good after a year between tests.