The Where are you From blog, has over 800 replys, thought I would start one specific to my state. I live in Warrensburg MO. Would like to meet other people from here.
I don't live in MO but I was born in KC and left in St Anthony's Home For Infants ( back in the day) when there were honest to goodness orphanages...I should change my screen name to Foundling!
hopefully some more people from Missouri will respond. Maybe we could meet at central location and have a nice meal and get to know each other. We can all use more friends and a day out now and then.
Mimi that is very interesting. Don't think I have ever known some one that was an honest to goodness orphan. Did you live their all your life and left when you became of age? Very interesting.
No I was finally adopted at 4 months of age...I have met others from " St Tony's" as we call it. It is rather sad how infants were treated in that time...not really held...managed like a conveyer belt..the thinking was if the staff handled us too much it would be too traumatic breaking a bond between baby and caregiver.... You can google St Anthony's Home for Infants and learn some interesting things about this place. A few years ago, my DH and I took a trip back to the midwest and actually went to the location. The only building still standing is the one that housed the mothers. The hospital and orphanage are now gone and the facility, which once was in a nice area but is now a crack drug area, is some kind of transitional living place for men. Not sure what they are transitioning from... There is a whole psychology about the effects of abandonment infants suffer..I don't think we truly ever get over it though as an infant we don't understand it. I think many have trust issues that perhaps they cannot even explain...
Yes...I totally agree with you about the trust issues and I really know nothing about an experience like you went through. May I ask was your life good with your adoptive parents? I hope so. At least you didn't have to live there through your childhood and that is a blessing.
I have a cousin who was adopted and she is in her 60s and found out only in the past 6 years who her mother was and still does not know who her father was and probably never will. Who knows, maybe her mother didn't even know who the father was. The thing that hurt her the most is when she found out who her mother was and where she lived it was less then 100 miles from where my cousin lived all her life. And, her real mother knew all the time where the daughter lived because it was a private type adoption that didn't involve an agency...one of those someone knew someone that wanted a baby that knew a mother that wanted to give her baby up for adoption. This too is strange, the mother just died a couple of months ago from AD. Also her real mother had a son and my cousin didn't get to know she had a brother for years and years. Another strange fact...the mother was in the military when she did the adoption.
Living at the orphanage would not have been a thrill. Christmas was not highlighted..the children each got a present on the 28th of Dec which is the Feast of the Holy Innocence. I had a good childhood though I did have to contend with my brothers, also adoptees, who actually were my parents favorites and they didn't hide it very well. My dad was a great man who gave big bear hugs but my mom was far more reserved...not demonstrative toward me. She favored my younger brother maybe because she was German and he is of German ancestry as well added to the fact he was 8 days old when he arrived whereas my older brother and I were " old babies" at 4 months of age when we were each placed. I grew up with the fear that if I were not good, they would give me back to the orphanage whereas the boys never felt that way. I was always warned by mom never to disgrace the family. My dad was a wonderful surgeon. Pressure was always on me. I never understood it until I did this search and found insight.. I did a search first starting with Catholic Charities in KC. They tried but got no response from the birth mother. So their hands were tied as to release of information. MO laws are so stupid...here you are in your 50s or 60s and you can't know who you are....talk about second class citizens! So I eventually hired a PI out of NC who is a birthmother herself. I only had numbers on documents and some Non Identifying info but that was it. In 3 days time she had all the dope on my natural mother. She was the eldest of 5 girls and she was a LT in the USArmy Nurse Corps. Learning that went a long way to understanding why my dad was so against my going into the service out of college. It also explained why my mom would tell me a story often about a nurse who got in a fix, disgraced the nursing profession and had to be dismissed from the hospital and residence. When I asked how she ended up, my mom said the nurses didn't know and didn't care to.... I did contact my natural mother by phone and spoke to her for about 10 minutes...she was NOT happy that I found her..told me " you are the result of an assault" and would tell me no medical information which is why I did the search in the first place. I later met one of my half siblings...my half sister told me through her brother that if I tried to contact that family again they would sue me..so who need that??? I did locate one cousin out of that lash up that also has no connection to the natural family...she was adopted by my natural mother's sister...so the cousin and I are good friends. Interestingly enough when I did a lot of genealogy, I discovered that the husband of a friend is actually my 5th cousin and we have lived in the same neighborhood for20 years I think it is...My natural mother on the maternal side is from Colorado. I do not know who my natural father is other than he was 27 when I was born and Irish and Catholic and had college and was in the Air Force...The natural mother is a mix of Irish, Scot, English, Canadian, and lord knows whatelse. I trust very few people and have few really close friends...I am always aware of my surroundings.
Mimi - when we adopted our kids the policy of the State of Washington for children other than newborns was: they must be in 3 foster homes before being placed with families. You know well the damage that does.They were removed from their parents at age 18 months and 4 months. We picked them up 8 months later. Their older half sister was removed from them after the 2nd foster home. Their mother was pregnant when we adopted. Tried to get that child too but the state would not allow it. HB never bonded with them. I thought I had but the way they treat me and the things they say I guess it didn't happen. My gut tells me their venom towards me in large part has to do with anger towards their birth parents. In Washington they will not release information either. Years ago in Oregon we passed a law that allowed the information to be accessed when the child turns 18. I do know their dad was in the Air Force stationed near Spokane. I even got a copy of their birth announcements in the newspaper but to go further the kids have to want to.
I am sorry you had to grow up knowing the rejection/not favorite. But, you seem to have still had a good life. You were able to overcome that poor home environment.
We adopted our daughter when she was 18 mos. old. Ours was the 5th or 6th home she had been in. At that time it was Tenn. policy to not let the child have anything from a previous home or let us know who they were. We knew her one week when the worker brought her to our home. We had provided her clothes she came to us in and also one toy. Imagine the fright for that poor baby. I'll never forget that first night as I rocked her to sleep she looked up at me and big tears came to her eyes. She never even whimpered, just tears. She was lonely and scared as who wouldn't be? She adjusted we thought very quickly. We had birth sons aged 10 and 14 at the time. She did alright until about aged 7 then she began to act out. She was a very troubled teenager and had a son at 16 yrs. which she gave up at birth for adoption. She never has contact with him. On her 18th birthday she left home and moved to another town with a guy. He was bad news. They had three daughters, got in trouble with the law, had one daughter taken by Human Services. This daughter was eventually adopted by a cousin. The other two were given for adoption later. Daughter and husband both went to prison. Daughter was drug addicted but has now been clean and sober for about three years. She has been married twice but now single and in very poor health from her wild life. So she had four children none of which she has any contact with. I have told her if she wants to try to find her birth mother I'd help her but she has never wanted to even try. We got terribly redacted health records from Nashville when she was a teen as she had so many health problems which continue to now. Adoption records are sealed in Tenn. as far as I know. It seems Mimi you have had a good life and I'm happy for you. So sorry you even need to be on this message board, though. Oops, I think I've broken a rule and got wa-a-ay off subject forgive me.