I haven't posted anything for a while about my DH...mainly because there was nothing good to report! He has been violent with some of the staff but Saturday he hit a resident. The outcome is he was moved yesterday afternoon to a psych facility where they will work on adjusting his meds. I haven't heard anything from them yet so I am not sure what they will do. Visiting is for one hour in the evening from 6.00 to 7.00 and 3.00 to 4.00 on weekends. The nurse at the ALF told me not to go tonight because the main doctor wouldn't have seen DH until this morning. If I don't hear from them soon I will call.
Jean21, I am so sorry this has happened. Perhaps they will be able to regulate his medications now, though, and things will be better. Praying for strength for you - and your DH.
Jean, so sorry to hear this update on your DH. Psych facilities typically limit days/hours for visiting, so this facility is in line with most. Perhaps the psych stay is a good thing so his meds will get properly adjusted. MarilyninMD's DH had a good result after his stay and my DH was able to be cared for at home (my decision) after a psych stay. During DH's stay we had to meet in a public place where we could be observed, I had to sign in/out every visit and in one facility I was not allowed to bring him anything except clothes or prepackaged foods which had to be examined by the nursing staff before he could get them. So don't be alarmed if they impose any of these restrictions.
Also you may have to go through a screening telephone call before they will give you any information about him-privacy is highly guarded in psych facilities. One hospital would not even confirm DH was a patient there until I met with the social worker. That was a challenege since they would not confirm that my husband was a patient so they wouldn't tell me who the social worker was!
Keep us posted and I hope this stay is successful in regulating his meds.
Jean, my DH spent 6 weeks at a psych facility in April and May after having a melt-down at the ALF where he had been for a year. They couldn't seem to do much for him and advised me that a NH would be the next step. The doctor at the NH managed to find the right cocktail of meds and after four weeks the ALF took him back. It is just amazing what a transformation it made having the right medications. My DH is in such a good place at this time that I'm sure I could manage his care again if it came to that. Here's hoping you can have the same result.
Lastnight I went to see DH, it took me 45 minutes to get there! First thing at the reception desk was... did I have a Medical ID number...no I didn't. Gave her DH's name and which section he was in a was told to take a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse supervisor arrives and tells me it wasn't a good time to see DH because he was agitated and I guess they were trying to settle him down. I did get a Medical ID number which I have to use when I go or call. I think it might be easier to get in a prison than this place. You can take NOTHING in and if you do have "contraband" they will confiscate it. While I was there a couple came in and they had to wait and before I left a man came and was running a wand over these people just like they do at the airports!
This afternoon DH's therapist called and let me know that DH had hit a resident on Monday night. I told her what the nurse supervisor told me about last night and she said if he hit someone while they were trying to calm him it was different than hitting someone out of the blue. The guy lastnight told me to call before going over there but like I told the therapist I could call when I am ready to leave and by the time I get over there DH might be agitated again. She is going to leave a note to have them call me if DH is agitated so I won't go over there, if they don't call it's okay to go. They have changed one of DH's meds and changed the dose on two others, one they raised and one they lowered to wean him off of it.
To top it off I had an email from the NH where DH's sister is wanting to know if it was okay to let her get hearing aids. She had hearing aids and didn't wear them or if she did she didn't know how to adjust them for background noise or she only wore one because "I can hardly hear out of that ear"!!!!!!! I have POA for her and pay her bills on line. I emailed back and said to go ahead and do whatever I have enough to worry about. BTW sil is 89 years old so I hope the hearing aids do some good.
That's all the news from SC. Hope everyone is having a nice evening.
One more thing! I drove for 2 hours to Charleston AFB to renew my ID card and couldn't do it because if the sponsor (DH) isn't with you you have to have POA. So I have to make another trip this time WITH the POA. If they had told me that when I called a couple of weeks ago or had it on their site when I checked that I would have taken it with me!!!!!!!!!
Wow...I am so sorry you are having such a bad time. Maybe you will get all the bad out at once and it will become better soon. It does you good to come here and vent....we do listen and feel for each other.
I finally got to see DH last night. I had been thinking he didn't know who I was anymore but when he saw me he grabbed his head with both hands and with a big smile on his face he said "My God I've been looking for you all day". He seemed to be better....not so "out of it" but he still talks about things that don't make sense. Again it seemed to be about the military and has trouble finding the words he wants to say.
This morning I left at 7.30am to make the trek to Charleston AFB again. This time WITH the POA! Got the new ID and was home by noon. I am so tired my butt is dragging. I woke up at 2.15 this morning and was still awake at 3.15. I dropped off some time and got up at 6.00 had my coffee checked my email and this site and got myself together and left. I should sleep well tonight but probably won't!
I went to see DH today thinking he would be as he was Thursday (see above). He wasn't he was worse. For the first time I really saw the empty look in his eyes and it wasn't what I wanted to see. He was looking but he couldn't focus. I don't know how long this can go on and the longer it goes the more I think the end would be a blessing. He started to get agitated and telling another resident/patient he had to go somewhere. I got a nurse to take him back to his room and I left. I wasn't there more than twenty minutes and I won't be going tomorrow. I hate that look in his eyes.
Jean...what a chore...seems like there is something at every turn. Try and get some rest you certainly need it and have earned the right to think about yourself instead of others...Take care (hugs)
Jean, you must be literally on pins and needles - what an awful ordeal for you and your husband. I often pray for a "soft" landing for my dh, too; I don't want him to suffer. You both will be in my prayers.
Jean, I am so sorry this is such a difficult time for you. Perhaps your DH is adjsuting to the med changes and it's the introduction/weaning of meds which is giving him the vacant look in his eyes. That was the case with DH when he was in the hospital for md adjustment the 2nd time. The meds they gave him made him a zombie-vacant look, didn't recognize me, parkinsons like symptoms. But once they got the right med combo he returned to his old self. I am praying that will the case for your DH.
(((HUGS))) from someone who has been there. Try to keep up your strength during this trying and uncertain time.
I appreciate each of your replies. A while ago I spoke with a friend from church and she asked if she could say a prayer for me, of course I said yes. After I got off the phone I cried...the first time since DH was diagnosed almost 5 years ago! I hope I haven't opened the flood gates because I am not normally the type who cries. Each time I think of my DH I see that look in his eyes. Sometimes I think "Oh babe, who would ever have thought we would come to this?". This is not a life it is an existence. I don't think I have ever felt this low.
Jean, I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I don't cry easily either so I know how you feel. Sometimes DH tells me "this is no way to live", so even he knows it. Hugs to you, Girl.
I cried and cried and cried in the BEGINNING less than 2 years ago. I hope your tears help you to cope. I am so sorry you are so low , wish I could help.
Oh Jean, my heart goes out to you. I try not to cry, but the tears come anyway. I see that blank look on my DH’s face when we are driving along. I will look over at him & there it is. So sad. You are right – who would ever have thought that we would come to this. I’m glad we can come here & “tell” people who understand. Hugs to you my dear ((Jean)).
Jean - just so sorry. Those of us here certainly understand your feelings. I too think "how did he get like this so suddenly" It is the pits for him (and me.) My heart goes out to you and a hug from me too.