When I first found out I would need surgery I decided I would share it with our facebook group, but not here because it isn’t a private group and anyone can read what we post here. Now I find that really doesn’t bother me too much. Sooo for those of you who do not know…..

The short version is due to a “rare complication” from my neck surgery 2 years ago, I now need a brain surgery to try to fix the problem. The rare complication is something called DAVF (Dural Arterio-Venous fistula) here is a site that can explain it better than I

http://www.brain-aneurysm.com/davf.html

So when I had the cerebral angiogram they found a “complex mass” of these. They are causing A LOT of problems and I have no choice but to have surgery. Where these are so rare, there isn’t even a specialist you can go to. The surgery has of course been done before, just no one doctor has a lot of experience due to their rarity. The leading hospital I am going to only does 1 of these surgeries every couple of years.

I have a large team of doctors/neurologists/neurosurgeons- we have met many many MANY times over the past few months. Though I do have faith in them, the surgery carries some pretty high risks and I don’t mind admitting I am a bit, ok quite a bit, nervous.

I am of course also worried about Lynn. I wont be able to go to see him for at least a week (though if I can walk, I am going!) I did hire a private aide to come in to give him one-on one attention a few hours every day. I believe that so vital for him!!!!

I go in on the 16th at 6am. They honestly don’t know how long the surgery will take (they said a minimum of 6 hours), nor if they will be able to fix all the “feeds” to the complex mass. They tell me they have never seen one this complicated. They also said though they hope to fix it all in one surgery, they are not sure they will be able to. The risk of stroke during surgery will play into how aggressive they are.

They also told me though surgery will be more difficult and risky because instead of just one of these, there is the complex mass of them… but they also told me, if my body had not kept making new ones, without symptom or warning, the first one would have ruptured and I would be dead….

So, trying to put that in perspective and be grateful! What will be, will be. But I just can’t wait for this to be over with!!

ahhhh our FB family ♥, now they got the FULL version for months!! lol. Seriously, what a trying time it has been and you all made it bearable for me! The support and love is overwhelming.. so grateful for you all ♥♥♥

We are all here for you, Nikki.

Will be thinking of you Nikki...prayers that it all goes well...♥

I wish you the best. Someone poking in my brain would make me nervous but the surgery sounds necessary. We look forward to your return to this site after you recover.

Carry on like a brave soldier. Positive energy heading your way.

Could someone on Facebook let the rest of us know how you are doing?

Praying for God's healing touch. Love you. Nikki

Thank you all so much.. you know, when you are facing something like this, well..... let's just say all of your support touches me deeply....

The hardest part for me in all of this is that Lynn will not be there with me, that I don't have him to talk with, to comfort me. Always in the past it was Lynn on one side of me, my Dad on the other, each holding one of my hands and making the whole process easier just by being there with me. I always joked around, trying to lighten the worry for them. Neither can be here with me now... and it hurts. So, having my family here as well as our wonderful FB family to share with and to receive such overwhelming support.... it means a great deal to me. ((Hugs))

*drying my tears* OK! So, my sister will be taking me up for the surgery, between now and then I will be teaching her how to post on FB using either my cell phone or my Kindle fire. I have asked her to post on my “wall” when the surgery is over. It is my hope that one of our amazing members here, will then share the news with our FB group and here. Any volunteers?

I just talked with the doctor this morning, he told me before they send me to the “Neuro Special Care recovery room” that while I am still in the operating room they will wake me enough to be able to tell if I have had a stroke(that is the highest risk, and the odds aren‘t great to be truthful). I am not sure why that brought me any comfort as I will not be aware of our “conversation” .

He will then go directly to talk to my sister, even before I am ready to leave the operating room. I then will be brought to the Neuro unit for at least another 6 hours before I am transferred to my room. I will ask Missy to post on FB to let you all know, after she calls my immediate family. So, you all will know even before I do!! So, someone call me to let me know <smiles>

You have to smile! And you just have to joke! It is twisted humor but I can’t help it, it is a defense mechanism maybe? But I keep telling my family and the nursing home, hey listen, if I do have a stroke, you make sure I get a bed next to Lynn!!!!!!! Aghast they all say Nikki!!! But then ,they laugh -and that is my goal, to ease their worries….but, like always, there is a lot of truth behind the humor……

And now, I am going to go spend the day with Lynn, still to this day, just seeing his smile…lights my whole world ♥♥♥

Nikki, I'll be praying and thinking of you with all the rest. You've gone thru so much already. .

Best wishes all goes well and you hav
e a speedy recovery

Feel heartsick that you have to go through with this, but you be assured that everyone is holding you in our hearts and prayers. On the 16th, such a wave of prayers will be rising in Canada, the U.S. and Australia that there will be a glow in the sky.

all the best for a speedy recovery nikki!
divvi

Amen to all the above. Mary75*..you and I have Canada covered from coast to coast. I think Wolf is in Ontario so there is extra strength here.

nikki--can't blame you for wanting the surgery to be over. Will have you in my thoughts.

Nikki -- you're at the top of my prayer list -- may angels surround you and guide the surgeon's hands. May they also surround Lynn and comfort him until you are ready to resume your loving caregiver role.

Dearest Nikki - haven't been posting on either site lately, going thru my own crap. But I have been lurking at both sites, and praying for all, but you most especially you, dear one! Please know that even though I don't post...I hold you close in my heart, and always keep you and Lynn in my prayers. You're a fighter and an inspiration...don't give up sweetie. We're all here for you. Love you so much!

Nikki, you will be in my prayers, and those of my church.

Thank you all so much ♥♥♥ It is so sweet that so many of you are adding me to your church's prayer list.

I am really busy this week with pre-testing and paperwork plus spending as much time as possible with Lynn ♥
But in the quiet moments, my mind races. I am a "glass is half full" kind of girl... but sometimes we all get afraid.

And I guess I am. Not of dying, I think it would be a rather peaceful way to go. Already asleep from the anesthesia so there would be no worry or fear. And I am not really afraid of surgery, this isn't my first brain surgery, and it's not the most serious brain surgery I have had either. But it is the first surgery that will be messing around in and around my vascular system. Creeps me out to be truthful. I guess I am afraid of a massive stroke though. I see a lot of fairly young stroke victims where Lynn is... it is harder on them it seems and I imagine it is because they have their wits about them. You can't help but think about these things.......


Ok, change of thoughts.... had a fantastic day with Lynn, just amazing!! When I am not so tired I will update you all on the new miracles we are experiencing ♥♥♥

Nikki, I am thinking of you as the days count down till Monday.